Peredhil

Good work, happy to see you posting so much. Your raw honest emotion evokes a like response in the reader. Your strong word choice amplifies that. This song (for so I hear it in my inner ear,) gives a lighthouse beacon to those who are emotionally frozen in an icy disaster. The thaw will come. Good job. -Peredhil

It flows well. Don't worry about Stereotypes. When you hit college, they teach you that: "Steal from one, it's plagarism. Steal from a thousand and it's a thesis paper." No one is truly original, everyone is inspired by something. As long as you let it all flow through the honesty filter of your heart, you'll be original enough. Don't forget to chech apostrophes and spelling - when someone's speed reading, mistakes act as a snare. I'm a sucker for the archaic though, Ancient as I am. I'm really happy to see you have literary talents to match your artistic ones. -Peredhil

I love Calvin and Hobbs... But also your poem. I get a picture of Shiva or Kali when I read that; The duality of the Hindu dieties. -Peredhil

I'm a-LIKING this one! You're good enough that I felt your climb and began to climb with you. I sighed in disappointment and hurt as we fell - not another tragedy, but you'd bound me to your words by that point and my heart had no choice but to tumble with you. How uplifting that you stood up, shook off, and let go, freeing the reader as well. May your eclipses always be few. -Peredhil

well done. Vivid imagery and captures the angst. Looks suspiciously at the syllable counts in the second stanza, compares them to the 1st and 3rd, but moves on. You've a strong voice to express inner torments. I hope you can find another key to your creativity. -Peredhil

One of your better songs, Falcon. Watching someone locking into a co-dependent cycle can be terribly frustrating. Most focus on the abuser, but forget not the implied consent of the abusee. The more they learn to love and believe in themself, the sooner they're freed from their chains. I'd download an mp3 of this... -Peredhil

Nice to see an affirmation of life in the Grey. Remember - let others judge your works, don't do it yourself. -Peredhil

Nicely done. One can almost see the little fishy. Where is the little fishy? Peredhil slaps himself before he segues into the Intermission from Monty Python's Meaning of Life Movie. I'm reminded of the calming effect fish had on the protagonists of C.J. Cherryh's Cyteen novels. -Peredhil

I like it. I'll try to reread it more critically when I have a chance. I always enjoy poems about womb-mates... -P

Welcome! I hope to see more - particularly if it will be this good. -P

Keep up the good fight! You'll always have a home here... By the way, do you have the latest passwords? Email me if not. -Peredhil

Peredhil checks and rechecks his mail. Did you send it to peredhil31@hotmail.com? Did you put "The Mighty Pen" in the subject line? I haven't received an email from you yet!!!

You are one of the first. Remember, as Zool has shown, one can bounce from Elder to Ancient to Elder again. I'll be following you soon... -Peredhil

Peredhil reminds all new initiates that they should email him if they want the Critic's Corner password.

Art Mirrors Life, and a piece of stone is what we paint it to be... I know my own mirror inside is like a fun-house crystal. It magnifies others while diminishing me, so I try not to focus on myself. The pieces of glass set on walls don't show the 'me' I know in my head and heart to be true. A friend's love is the only mirror I need.

Welcome Hydrus! Will you be doing any cooking while you're here? I understand Dwarves are famous for their cooking. Peredhil looks around for Melba or Wyvern to move the application along.

Great job Foe Caliber - and nicely announced Bhurin. Thank you for doing this, it was great fun. Scurries away to play with Foe Caliber's title for a few moments... -Peredhil

Peredhil pauses in his relentless pace and haste and listens to the Application song. Sweet! Motioning to Melba, he indicates she should definitely give this one the Short Form application sheet.

Verrry nice. In haste, -Peredhil

When I read your works, I find myself straining to hear the tune - they 'feel' like music to me. Nicely done, I wouldn't mind reading more... -Peredhil

This is very well done and a neat concept. I know something has hit home when I think, "Oh! Now I want to write one of those!" -Peredhil

Ouch. As a father who is sometimes "too busy", this makes me stop and consider once again. Good (pointed) writing. -Peredhil

Peredhil admits reluctantly that he is somewhat prejudiced against prejudiced people...

May I give this to a friend of mine? He's a Vietnam Veteran who's never quite come home...

A whisper trails through her mind... Don't forget to email me for the Critic's Corner password... The Mighty Pen in the subject line... and please include your screen name here (Tralla) so I may update my Lists... -Peredhil ( peredhil31@hotmail.com )