Vlad Posted March 5, 2003 Report Share Posted March 5, 2003 My eyes burn, flesh scarred forevermore, Saddened as I am to know and love a loss; That which I do best, is of no use in time. But the tears do not yet come. My heart throbs, pain searing through... I am glad to know so many and so much, Trust in your faith and holy guiding light. My tears will be reborn. I am weak, terror of life laces my thoughts, No emotion is an option when one lives as I, Lost and dazed, confused within the glory. The tears come only now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted March 14, 2003 Report Share Posted March 14, 2003 Hmm, I somehow missed this before. Nice meter when I read it in my mind. I think tears are an important, their flow can be the lancing of the dark inner wound that allows healing to begin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett O'Harpy Posted March 16, 2003 Report Share Posted March 16, 2003 Hi Vlad, I just wanted to note my appreciation of this. I particularly liked the idea of thoughts being laced with a powerful emotion. I think that's a great word-choice; it works well on a number of levels. Thanks for posting, Harpy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyril Darkcloud Posted March 17, 2003 Report Share Posted March 17, 2003 Droplets bearing the salt of emotions that refuse to remain unfelt, they rise in silent and sudden numbers to press against the composure which separates Within from Without. Salty weight leaning against discipline’s seams produces openings too small perhaps for eyes to see or too large for plugging fingers to fill, that restless Within might slip its bounds and move in quiet flood into Without or simply overwhelm and submerge it beneath the rush of unbidden and unexpected streams. A difficult theme brought to words. The consistent stanza shape of 3 long lines and one short line works well here, as does the irregular number of beats hidden in visually similar line lengths. An especially fine touch is the way you use the three short concluding statements about tears to underline and drive the movement of the piece. Thanks for a good read, Vlad. Keep writing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rune Posted March 27, 2003 Report Share Posted March 27, 2003 For some reason this poem reminded me of a friend’s explanation of their Faith in their God and how they described it when I asked the ever loaded question of “why?” one day. It almost seems that the first few lines signify the sadness that could be had from loving someone who has died for your sins, the second could be the realization that you do believe in that sacrifice and are willing to reform your life to their teachings. The final could be the overwhelming feeling of putting every thought and decision in your life in the hands of one you cannot communicate directly with and the feeling of being lost and helpless at times of great sadness that might accompany that faith when you question it. I know that was not your intent, but I find it interesting to hear other peoples interpretation of different poems and stories so I like to share what first comes to mind when I read others as well. I am not religious, so Im kind of surprised it reminded me of that conversation since I walked away thinking that he was silly for believing. Beautiful any way your interpret it. Thank you for sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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