Degorram Posted June 15, 2009 Report Share Posted June 15, 2009 (edited) *content removed for safety reasons; sorry!* Edited June 24, 2009 by Degorram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kikuyu_Black_Paws Posted June 15, 2009 Report Share Posted June 15, 2009 Wow. Just.... Wow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted June 15, 2009 Report Share Posted June 15, 2009 Hugs tightly You're amazing. =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanuchan Posted June 15, 2009 Report Share Posted June 15, 2009 beautiful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celtois Posted June 16, 2009 Report Share Posted June 16, 2009 This story sounds like it could be a classic folk tale, you know like the ones you used to read as a kid. Which is to say it's very good. You build your way to the finale nicely and it has all the elements of this sort of a tale ex. a lesson is taught. Overall a very good story. One thing that bothered me. Running very strongly... It sounds off, I know you where trying to keep with the pattern of Running Very X but maybe try and find a different word for there Hardily perhaps. Another thing that might sound better is swiftly instead of quickly. But now I'm just nit-picking. I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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