Blby's Song

[Blby]

"When I was just a small piglet,

My father said to me, Blby

'Go see the world before you set-

tle down. See pigs besides just me!

 

Just watch out for sneaky capture.

They slip up from behind your back

and dig their hands into your fur,

then pop you go into their sack.

 

If you want safety, be a pet.

Sometimes you may be bored, but they

Take care of you and you'll be set

For water treats and daily hay.

 

But if you're smart and guinea-tough,

Be an adventurer, my son.'

Life's been fun and sometimes rough

But I've travelled hither and yon.

 

May I stop here for a while

'Fore I go another mile?"

 

OOC: I fear my poetry's not very good, but it's what I could think of, so I figured I'd try.

[Tanuchan]

Hearing someone singing softly in Wyvern's room, a curious wolf poked her nose in. Among the already familiar smells - things didn't seem to have changed much since her last visit to the Recruiter's Office some while ago - Tanny got a rather appetizing scent.

 

Hmmm.... smells like a snack... She grinned in an amused way, guessing it was from either Wyvern's most recent victim, or Wyvern's next victim. Shame that my diet definitely doesn't include talking, sentient funny guinea pigs...

 

A wet nose poked Blby's back while he was singing, which made his last verse finish in a mighty squeak. Blby looked at the big black wolf, and was greeted by a big licking tongue that wet him thoroughly.

 

Tanny couldn't avoid laughing at the small guinea pig's reaction, and lay down in front of him with a grin. She wasn't sure that he could listen to mindspeech, but she hoped he remembered her from the Cabaret Room. Though, of course, there was the small point of Venefyxatu having teleported her out and up a tree before she could present herself to the small guest.

 

:: Greetings, Blby... didn't expect you to be visiting that lizard so soon! Beware his... special offers.::

 

She lowered her head to the floor, so her nose was level with Blby's belly. She winked, and decided to make him company while he waited for Wyvern.

[Wyvern]

Both Blby and Tanuchan turn their heads as the Recruiter's Office window slides open, bringing in a chilly gust of October air. The wind doesn't last long, however, as a crimson wing promptly juts its way through the window and blocks the breeze. This wing is followed by a scaly foot, and it's not long before Wyvern has crammed his way into the Office and shut the window behind him. The overgrown bows his head to Blby and waves a claw to Tanuchan, then scampers over to his Recruitment desk and begins tossing papers left and right.

 

"Niccce to see you applying here Blby, sssorry to keep you waiting." Wyvern flashes a toothy grin in Blby's direction, then clears his throat and plucks Blby's application poem from a space between a tattered magazine and half a moldy peanut butter and curly onion cheese doodle sandwich. The lizard raises the work to his snout and skims over the words. "Hmmm, I sssee. Well, if comfort or lodgings are what you're searching for, then boy do I have a special offer for you."

 

Blby and Tanuchan glance towards one another with concerned looks as Wyvern darts under his desk and begins rummaging through various un-ironed articles of clothing. The overgrown lizard eventually re-emerges wearing a plaid travel agent tux and a Hawaiian lei.

 

"Sssure, applying to the Pen in a typical manner is nice and all, but wouldn't you like to take full advantage of the relaxing facilitiesss that Almost Dragonic Inc. has on offer?" Wyvern digs into his Devil's Advocate folder and pulls out a blank sheet of paper. He licks his lips and folds the paper in half to make it resemble a brochure. "For a limited time only, you can add 100 geld to your Pen application you'll get a free 4-month membership pass for Almost Dragonic Brand Guinea Pig Deluxe Health Spa Resorts™. It's a ssssteal!"

 

Blby glumly accepts the blank pamphlet as Wyvern shoves it in his direction.

 

"Almost Dragonic Brand Guinea Pig Deluxe Health Spa Resorts™ offer only the finest in exercise and recreation facilities for guinea pigs. Thisss includes soft and comfortable spots to recline, a state-of-the-art treadmill machine, and an all-you-can-eat self-service buffet."

 

Blby frowns and turns the pamphlet over in an attempt to find some sort of writing on it.

 

"The architecture of the resssort is also extremely modern and innovative, with see-through walls consisssting of bars that can be climbed as a form of exercise. But don't take it from me... sssee for yourself!"

 

With that, Wyvern reaches down and pulls up what appears to be a rickety old hamster cage with a sign reading "Deeluks Resort" hanging over the rusted door. Inside of the cage, there appears to be an aged running wheel, two feeding tubes, and a spot of hay that's seen better days. A long moment of silence passes as Wyvern holds the cage by its handle and parades it around with a claw.

 

"Errr..." Tanuchan scratches one of her ears and raises a brow. "Is that some kind of miniature model or...?"

 

"Oh no no no, thisss is the resort itself!"

 

Wyvern extends it forward in the hopes of giving Blby a better look, only to watch as the door of the ancient cage falls off its hinges. The overgrown lizard bites his scaly and turns with an awkward laugh, then grumbles to himself and stamps Blby's application ACCEPTED.

 

;-)

 

OOC: An ACCEPTED application piece, Blby. :-) Welcome to the Mighty Pen! I've enjoyed RPing with you and reading your writing thus far, and hope that you continue to find the Pen a friendly and open community to share your creativity with. Once again, welcome.

[Peredhil]

Door opens quietly, creaking slightly in woody mirth. A Giant Guinea Pig, dressed in a natty suit with two-toned shoes, topped by a fedora, peeps through.

 

"Most distinguished Elder and Bard Wyvern," Nuncio calls. All jump at the unexpected bass voice. "I happened to be resting out in the waiting room, eating Melba's biscuits, reading Horace Walpole as I wandered the hallway, when I couldn't help but overhear the magical words 'Almost Dragonic Brand Guinea Pig Deluxe Health Spa Resorts™'." The Door smirked with ingrained humor "I think you've finally found a product my brother Guido and I might be interested in reviewing. So I curtained my wall-poling activities and infiltrated your establishment. Do pardon the interruption?" He smiled hopefully.

 

"Huh?" replied Wyvern, taken back by the dapper Bodyguard

 

"I'm interested in the Almost Dragonic Brand Guinea Pig Deluxe Health Spa Resorts™, Nuncio said slowly and carefully, advancing his bulk toward Wyvern's desk. Tanny and Bartleby scuttled out of the way, while Wyvern perked up. A scheme might work? The Almost Dragon swept the desk clean with a claw, forgetting the Applicant.

 

"Do come in and talk! Do you have Geld on you?" He began sniffing greedily, eyes gleaming. "Happen to know where Peredhil keeps his treasure? Heh heh - small joke there."

 

Tanuchan, with visions of an enraged rodent of unusual size throttling an Elder, swept up Bartleby and made a prudent escape.

[Blby]

Everything was happening a bit fast for Blby.

 

WET! Wassat? OMGOMGOMG! WOOOOOLF!. Blby tried to run, but there was only a wall behind him.

 

EEEp OH! eeeepp help help ........ wait. It laughed. Things don't usually laugh at their dinner do they? Try to hold still. With that decision, Blby made a conscious effort not to move, but still his body shivered.

 

:: Greetings, Blby... didn't expect you to be visiting that lizard so soon! Beware his... special offers.::

 

Blby raised his head "You spoke?"

 

"But no, you didn't speak.

 

Wuuuh...."

 

And then the window slid open and the quick paced salesman began to speak. Blby just froze in bafflement, taking paper mechanically, but not understanding.

 

He was still in shock when a giant guinea pig stepped in. It's huge, but it's a pig, I'm sure. I don't think we come in giant sizes, but umm, clearly we do. Maybe it's a god? It must be. As Tanuchan swept Blby up, he made a mental note to make obseiance to this god as soon as he got the chance.

Edited October 10, 2007 by Blby

[Wyvern]

"Well, lemme asssure you Nuncio... when it comes to Guinea Pig Deluxe Health Spa Resssorts, you've come to the right place." Wyvern pulls out a sheet from his Devil's Advocate folder and folds it into another "promotional brochure," then shoves it into one of Nuncio's paws. "Now, if you'll jussst have a seat over here, I'll whip out the proper documents and you won't be not loving your soon-to-be Almost Dragonic Brand Deluxe Health Spa Resort™ before you don't know it."

 

Nuncio scratches his head as he considers Wyvern's statement and looks over the blank pamphlet.

 

"You wouldn't happen to have a picture of this resort, would you Wyvern?"

 

"A picture?" Wyvern drops the long parchments of legalities that he's carrying and turns to Nuncio with a dumbfounded expression. "Who needsss a pic of the place when you can take a full tour of it, right here and right now?! Lemme just fetch the Resssort for you."

 

Wyvern races to his desk and picks up the cage with the "Deeluks Resort" sign hanging from its would-be door. The overgrown lizard bites his lip when he notices the slight difference in size between Nuncio and the cage, and taps a claw on its bars as he considers how to give the guinea pig bodyguard a proper tour of the place.

 

"Jusssst close your eyes and hold still." Wyvern licks his lips and turns the cage at an angle, lowering its open door space over Nuncio's head and ignoring the potentially tight squeeze. "You'll be experiencing the many luxuries of Almost Dragonic Brand Guinea Pig Deluxe Health Spa Resorts in no time flat!"

 

;-)