Gwaihir Posted November 23, 2005 Report Share Posted November 23, 2005 Gone That means never No more Raymond. Say it and repeat it Just try to believe it. Gone. Gone. He's gone. Raymond There is a distinct lack of Raymond We've lost our Raymond. Have you seen our Raymond Tell him to come back. Tell him we need our Raymond. Laughing Smelling like a duck pond Smiling Caring Giving Sacrificing Never asking for anything Too tough to say he had a need Way too big to get your arms around Lonely, patient I said he should wait. Told him it would all get better after high school This wasn't really what I meant. He always thought he looked good in black Just needed to post this. To try to feel it. Accept it believe it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mira Posted November 23, 2005 Report Share Posted November 23, 2005 I searched and searched for a emoticon or small image that could convey how sorry I am, how my heart goes out for you, since I didn't think I could find any words to say what I wanted. Brother you're gone now you've went away to not return on sunny days but i know if i hold you forever deep in my heart that never will we ever truly be apart I'm sorry if I've overstepped my bounds, or if my words were so clumsy, to have opened up wounds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetcherrie Posted November 23, 2005 Report Share Posted November 23, 2005 I'm never to good with words as soon as it comes to these sort of things (how bad for someone who likes calling herself a writer), but if ever you need someone to shout at about the unfairness of these sort of things.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted November 24, 2005 Report Share Posted November 24, 2005 My condolences as well, very sorry to hear it and hope that you're doing O.K. :-( The poem itself is effective at conveying the emotion of loss, and the repetition of the name in the first two stanzas seems to drive across a strong sense of denial to me. The last line of the fourth stanza also seemed to suggest that the narrator feels a certain guilt and unjustly blames herself as part of the cause of death, which was a very sad detail that strengthened the overall tone of the poem. Should you ever feel the desire to revisit this piece, I would love to get more of a sense of the aspects of Raymond's character listed in the third stanza, as it would let me share the narrator's mourning for his loss more. The duck pond simile was very good in this regard, but I'd be really interested in learning more about his giving and sacrificing. Well done, and hope things work out once again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regel Posted November 25, 2005 Report Share Posted November 25, 2005 I often wonder what a good friend can do at a time of loss to lessen the pain. It seems to me that a good friend can at best only share the pain. There is a time to weep and feel this sorrow. The time is now and even if it seems that you have cried as many tears as you have there will always be more to shed. As I sit here watching the snow fall and the temperature plummet I also know another friend of mine sits beside his wife, his children's mother and his best friend. Watching and waiting for her time is near. I am so sorry Gwaihir. May God watch over you and your family as well as Raymond. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reverie Posted December 4, 2005 Report Share Posted December 4, 2005 (edited) Having lost my only brother to tragedy, and other relatives to suicide you have my heart-felt sympathies... I wrote this a few years ago, when my friend's brother also choose to take his own life. She had helped me out of funk a few months before, so I naturally returned the favor..."" a gift turned second-hand thankyou… Once…(9pm 13nov02) Once I fell. And nearly died Or so it seemed, To me inside. And on the floor I thrashed about Beneath the pain And filled with doubt. But then I found That you were near Willing to help And dry my tears So now I stand Upright again Because of you My lovely friend *** Hope you have someone there for you as well... rev. Edited December 4, 2005 by reverie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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