Appy Posted May 26, 2004 Report Share Posted May 26, 2004 (edited) ~ So,... I haven't written anything since my last finished poem, which was, to be precise, 13th of april, which for me.. is a very long time. (that sounded a bit silly since before I came here I hadn't written in 5 years.. but being here inspires one, and if there's no muse to hold on too... it's frustrating, if you get what I mean)Anyways, I am not sure if this is finished, but my muse is back, and I'd like to share that... any advice and reaction very much appreciated ~Drawn and QuarteredI've been drawn inside myselfLooking for answersthat you cannot findjust lying along the wayI've been drawn within myselfwith inexperienced handsand eyes unfocusedforming my own pictureI've been drawn towards myselffinding what no one cansearching for the reasonsof selfness, ego, me...I've been drawn and quarteredkicked down and discouragedpulled up and beat down...and found life again [26 mei 2004, Leverkusen] Edited October 20, 2014 by Appy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annael Posted May 27, 2004 Report Share Posted May 27, 2004 I like this poem for the simple reason that if reflects what everyone goes through at some point in their life. No matter what happens to us, we will grow from it and in a weird sort of way, be reborn from it. I myself have been going through some really rough times, and I know that at the end of this all, I will find life again. Well done Appy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yui-chan Posted May 27, 2004 Report Share Posted May 27, 2004 This is very interesting, Appy. I like the way you played with the 'I've been drawn' lines, taking it from something normal to something a little bit morbid. As I was reading through, though, there was one thing in particular that caught me up. The first line in each of the first two stanzas are so similar in meaning that I essentially didn't even catch that they weren't identical, so when I came to the third stanza, I expected that line to be the same. It was only in looking back that I noticed the difference between 'within' and 'inside'. It's kind of distracting to think you're falling into the rhythm of the work and then get jarred out, so I might suggest either somehow making those lines even more diverse in their meanings or just reordering the stanzas to separate them. Just my two cents, of course. I really enjoyed this, so thanks for sharing it with us. Yours, ~Yui Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falcon2001 Posted May 27, 2004 Report Share Posted May 27, 2004 I really liked it - good poem. I also liked the way that you used the I've been drawn lines - it ties the poem together and adds a very loose but solid form to it. I like the tone of the poem as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DL_Snake Posted May 28, 2004 Report Share Posted May 28, 2004 This is my interpretation of your poem, Appster, correct me if i'm wrong: in the First stanza you're seeking answers to life that many have tried but unsuccessfully answered. carried on in your Second stanza i feel like you're forming your own answers to life without referring to that of those formed by others before you, hence the "inexperienced hands" In your third, I am inclined to think that you HAVE managed to find the answer that many could now, but now the answer you have found leads you to even more questions to be answered in life. Your last stanza reminds me of Jesus, who preached the truth but was rejected by the populace, likewise you have found the truth and want to share it with others but it is thrown back in your face. However, from all this, you found life again, or maybe you found the meaning of your life from the truth you have discovered from others. PS: I felt very connected to your poem which is why i attempted to decipher it, perhaps I am wrong but nevertheless it has touched me deeply. Thank you very much for sharing this wonderful piece of work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Appy Posted June 1, 2004 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2004 (edited) Thanks for the praise *blush* Yui: I agree, that does throw one off but so far I haven't been able to find a good substitute... if anyone has ANY idea about how to say I've been drawn by me where by is a two-syllable word.. please tell me DL-snake: *long pause* I never really know what to say when people take something I've written in a few seconds, and find so much intruiging 'things' in them (truely sometimes I think I am only the medium, not the creator) Thank you for deciphering it, and in a way, you are always right... like I said before "A poem is there as much as to be interpreted by the reader, as to be written by the writer" meaning that any interpretation would be correct. (ofcourse there are exeptions to this 'rule', as there are to any rule.. which would, for instance, be when a specific 'character history' is being told, but that's another story) With this interpretation however you hit a nerve, and made this one special, thank you for that -Appy Edited June 1, 2004 by Appy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DL_Snake Posted June 3, 2004 Report Share Posted June 3, 2004 With this interpretation however you hit a nerve, and made this one special, thank you for that LoL for the moment there, when you said I hit a nerve, I thought you were angry. *hugs* Thanks for the poem (again) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beautiful Nightmare Posted June 12, 2004 Report Share Posted June 12, 2004 Once again Appy i love your poem! I hope your muse remains with you for a long time as it is such a crime not to have your poetry around! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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