The Quincuinox

[Solivagus]

Heinrich streched wearily after his essence returned from the plane he had been visiting for information. Rising slowly from the armchair that had held his body while he was away, he moved over to the window to catch a sight of the moon far above. He rested his rough, weather-beaten hands on the window sill...and felt the soft touch of paper beneath his hands. Starled he looked down, and found that the formerly warm, smooth, shining surface of his dwarf-built tower was now plastered with pieces of paper. Angrily he snatched one up and read it quickly, his eyes widening at what he saw.

 

His hands quickly scrunched the paper into a ball before tossing it into the air, where it disintegrated in a burst of flame. His long legs carried him swiftly over to his Staff. "WYVERN!" Heinrichs voice rolled like thunder across the courtyard.

 

"NO ONE PLASTERS MY TOWER WITH PARTY INVITES AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS LIZARD!"

 

With swift, sure movements he drew a circle around himself. Holding the Staff upright in both hands he began to murmur the words of the teleportation spell. The circle he had drawn began to flash, and the Staff blazed half white and half black in his hands. With a violent pop he vanished from the tower and reappeared infront of a starled Melba.

 

"I'll need some undergarments..." Came the startled trolls voice.

 

Heinrichs answer was almost a hiss. "Undergarments? Right!" He aimed his Staff at Melba. As a squad of trolls came up to aid thier boss he muttered some dark words in the infernal tounge. The sound of the demonic syllables reaching the awestruck mortals ears made them shudder. There was a flash of bright light above the trolls...and it began to rain boxer shorts. Small, tinny tunes began to play as they hit the ground, bright lights flashed in the night and soon the trolls were waste deep in boxer shorts.

 

With his teeth gritted, Heinrich strode into the party chambers, searching for the lizard...

[Wyvern]

Near the entrance of the party, just beyond the guards at the gates...

 

Lady Celes Crusador happily strolls into the party, sniffing at the wide variety of strange aromas that linger in the air while Cambronne paws at the frogs hopping about at her feet. The curious cat hops along after a frog for a few paces and is about to pounce on it when suddenly, an enormous fist of muscular knuckles and grimey flesh lifts the poor feline off of the ground by its leash.

 

Celes Crusador suddenly comes to a halt as she finds an enormous troll guard standing before her, carrying Cambronne by his leash and snorting to himself proudly. Handing Celes her cat and wiping the snot from under his wart-infested nose with his other hand, the troll reaches into the front pocket of his spiked leather XXXXL jacket and takes out a crumpled invitation poster. Pointing at the poster with one of his huge fingers and frowning, the troll growls:

 

"Sorry ma'am, but can't let ya in without da entry fee. One cat haiku, or it's out with you, and your lil pet too!"

 

Elsewhere, around the buffet tables of the party...

 

As one of the many mortal countryfolk of the party runs off screaming from the Dreamer's general area, MeThinksUFoolish silently contemplates his plan of flight.

 

"STARS!" the Savage Dragon exclaims, turning his eyes towards an open window and causing several of the party-goers to turn pale at the sight of his flapping wings.

 

"B-b-but!" exclaims the mortal countryman who had ran from the Dreamer and was now faced with another horror. "Why, you can find plenty of the stars right here. Look, there's Peredhil the Polite, and I think that I saw Gyrfalcon the Heroic.- No need to flap your wings and create a catastrophe!"

 

Ignoring the countryman's pathetic pleas, MeThinksUFoolish quickly forms a violent tornado through the rapid beatings of his wings, causing the countryman to scream at the top of his lungs and run off towards the safety of the dancelfloor. As the Savage Dragon takes flight, the tornado that he created steadily advances towards the buffet tables, their destruction seemingly imminent. Fortunatly, the Dreamer happens to stand directly in the tornados path, and simply snatches the wind formation by its tip with one of his hands. Briefly using the breeze from the tornado as a convenient method to stir his tea, the powerful immortal then tosses the gust of wind towards the dancefloor, where it properly belongs.

 

At the Dancefloor of the Party...

 

The terrified countryman comes to a panting halt as he reaches the neon dancefloor, wiping the sweat from his brow and breathing for a moment only to be consumed into the dancing crowd. The countryman screams for his money as he see's Wyvern doing the "Hug-a-buck" to the tune of "Geld Geld Geld," and promptly faints when he notices the tornado once again headed in his general direction. Upon the sight of the tornado, many of the people dancing in the crowd move to the side to let it pass through... with the exception of Wyvern, who is too consumed in the "Hug-a-buck" to notice the natural disaster approaching. Performing the final "silver dollar spin" of the dance routine and hissing with glee, the overgrown lizard is suddenly sent spinning far faster than he could ever imagine.

 

"H-h-h-h-h-h-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p m-m-m-m-m-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e!!!"

[Katzaniel]

Flash back, to a time just before everything Wyvern just did...

 

 

Along with a wide variety of different creates waiting in line sat a tiger. Some of the members looked confused, not recognizing the creature, but the more astute in the crowd noticed that the pattern of stripes on its hindquarters matched those of Katzaniel, and were therefore not surprised when upon reaching the head of the queue, the great cat became a tigertaur. This was her customary form, but those that knew her also knew that she could take the shape of any type of cat, with nearly any plausible characteristics.

 

Melba simply cocked her head, waiting for the entry fee.

 

Katzaniel, her upper body decorated as usual like the ancient male witch doctor whose body had magically been combined with her own during a long ago duel, melding almost seamlessly into the body of a tiger, tapped her spear on the ground and began to recite.

 

"Bless the kitty cat

"He is white and sprawled out flat

"Splayed toes are all that."

 

The poem sounded odd in the masculine voice of the witch doctor, but the personality of the original tiger was by far the dominant one in this body, and those that knew her did not think twice about it.

 

Melba did. "Thank you. But that's only half your price - I'll need some underthings as well."

 

"Well, I don't have any of those. How about a haiku about some instead?"

 

"Given your unique situation, that might suffice. Let's hear it."

 

Katzaniel paused to think, and a few miscellaneous members were processed before she returned to stand in front of the woman again.

 

"Fresh and clean they shine

"This beautiful pair of mine

"Underwear so fine."

 

Melba raised a brow, but let the tigertaur pass.

 

About to enter the party, Katzaniel was getting pretty excited about what might be in there. Aside from the frogs, which she was stoutly managing to ignore, this should be a lot of fun. She spotted Wyvern and went to chat.

 

"Oh! You can't come in here like that." he almost shrieked.

 

"Whyever not?"

 

"Well..." Wyvern looked slightly embarrassed for a moment. "Due to some experience beyond anyone's control, Finnius is terribly afraid of witch doctors."

 

"What did you do to him?" queried Katzaniel, suspicions raised.

 

"None of your... I mean, nothing at all!"

 

The tigertaur decided not to press the matter. "But I can't talk if I'm in any of my other forms. They're all just cats."

 

"Perhaps if you can avoid Finnius?"

 

"I've never even met him. How would I know who to..." Katzaniel stopped speaking as a little blue man came up to them, saying, "Hey, Wyvern, did you know that..." then happened to glance at Katzaniel, let out a little scream, and fainted.

 

"Erm... well, obviously that's not going to work anyway. Look, I don't care what you do about it, you can't be in that form. I can't kick Finnius out, he's already threatening to sue me."

 

She scrutinized the almost-dragon for a moment, not sure what to say. Just then a man detached himself from his position of leaning against the wall, and wandered over.

 

"Do you need me to get rid of her for you, Wyvern? I wouldn't trust you to be able to handle a housecat."

 

The almost-dragon looked at the man and his eyes lit up. "Why, Miscellaneous_Pen_Mage_03, you could do something about letting her talk while in housecat form!"

 

"So that you can handle her yourself?" the man chuckled.

 

"If he could do that, it would certainly work," mused Katzaniel at almost the same time.

 

"Well no, she's got the shapeshifting part covered. You just need to give her the ability to talk."

 

"She talks fine!" grinned Miscellaneous_Pen_Mage_03.

 

"Not when I'm not in this form," explained Katzaniel needlessly, "and he won't allow me in like this." The tigertaur glared at the almost-dragon, but he failed to notice.

 

"Alright, Wyvern, but you owe me one."

 

Katzaniel changed herself back to the tiger, and Miscellaneous_Pen_Mage_03 cast the spell, colours sparking everywhere for a moment before narrowing in on her.

 

"By the way," said the man when it was done. "I heard your rhyming haikus, and I liked them." Laughing loudly, he turned and left them.

 

"I'd like to thank you

"For your service, now you're through...

"Why's this a haiku??"

 

The tiger looked rather confused at herself.

 

Miscellaneous_Pen_Mage_03 looked over his shoulder at the pair, grinning more widely now. "Have fun at the party!"

Edited May 14, 2004 by Katzaniel

[Lady Celes Crusader]

Celes is stroking her shaken feline, who is not used to wear his leash.

 

- Of course, with Wyvern, there's nothing free. I'll do a feline cat haiku but don't laugh if it's bad.

 

The Café owner thinks for a while before the impatient troll and then recites it.

 

"Tired is the cat

Who's looking for a long nap

Nothing weird to that"

 

The troll nods but Melba intervene

 

- It is well done knowing that you are anything but a poet. But for this feline of yours, I think we'll have to charge you another haiku for him.

 

- Allright... there it goes

 

"I am Cambronne

I am black, bold and stubborn

But now I'm done"

 

Melba knowing that it is not in her best interest to not further restrain Celes, she let the blue mage pass. The troll asks Melba about the underwear.

 

- Forget any objects from these type of mages. They are master of illusions and she's no exceptions.

 

Meanwhile, Cambronne resumed his frog chase while Celes talks with guests along the buffet.

[Xaious, Master of Time]

Upon receiving his official invite to the celebration, Xaious began his quest towards the Conservatory. He had not quite read the entirety of the invite, but neither did he know all that well his way around the Pen. But, in his best efforts, he set off for the conservatory, a pathetically small glimmer of hope within that he would actually NOT find the place. It was not a distaste of Almost Draconic brand products that made him wary. Rather instead, it was a profound sense that someone would be there to lock him up. I mean, really. With all the cheap imitation brand products from Mexico, what with their cheaply plastered on 'Almost Draconic labels on them, there had to be someone out there looking for him.

Nevermind the fact that, to some, it actually tasted better than the actual stuff....

He walked for seemingly endless minutes, until remembering that he had, subconsciously, slowed time by greater than half its speed, until he came upon the closet he'd been using for a home for quite some time.

"You really should hurry up, you know." He said to himself.

"Yes, I know. But..What did that invite say about underwear?" Xaious replied.

"I don't know. Just grab something from that pile over there. And not the panties."

"Now, Xaious, no way I'm giving those away for anything. Don't you remember?" He inquired at himself.

"Um..no, not really..." Xaious choked out, eyes shifting.

*sighs* "You DO have a craptacular memory." And he then laughed, a slight laughter, at himself.

"Well then, what's so special about them?"

"They..belonged..to...to...*sniffs*"

"Oh, fine then! Get the lousy old briefs from the bottom of the pile!"

"NO!" Xaious sighed again. "Something better than that!"

"Ok then..How about those odd boxers of Lovecraftian colors?"

"With the Summer Fun Cthulhu patch on the rear?" HE asked himself.

"Yes, those..I really should stop talking to myself..."

"Yes, you should" A completely different voice in his head said.

"James Reid, butt out. You've not been introduced yet."

"Yes sir!" And the voice disappeared.

Xaious sighed once more. All this to find a decent pair of underwear, and his friend from far off had to butt in to boot. Laughing slightly to himself, and at himself, Xaious made haste to leave his home closet, Lovecraftian boxers in hand, and seek out the Conservatory.

Due to his deep-seated disliking of asking for directions, Xaious began to aimlessly wander the halls of the pen, because it would have been best to ask someone.

After what seemed like another eternity, and coming across some random Pennites moving at the speed of moldy Almost Draconic cheese..well, slower, in fact, Xaious remembered that he was still moving with time slowed, and greatly too.

Fortunately for him, though, a map floated to his feet when he restored the flow of time to it's normal pace. He picked it up and looked it over, turning it around until it appeared to be right-side up.

"And if it is upside-down, I can always walk on the ceiling." He mused to himself, then lost his smile upon the rememberance that he could not, in fact, walk on ceilings.

"Ah well, here goes nothing..."

Xaious froze time for the last time for quite some time, and ran with infinite acceleration to what was marked as the conservatory on the map. When he arrived at what was marked as the Conservatory, Xaious stopped, walked to the door, and opened. Only to be assaulted by a few hundred brooms.

"Cursed...broom closets..."he muttered to himself. "That always happens to me..."

Pulling himself up from the tangle of broken broom handles and the occasional mop, Xaious looked around, until he spotted a door guarded quite heavily, with lights and what may have been music seeping through cracks, and a few lines with a length ungodly and a width unholy. Dusting himself off, he unpauses time, dodges a few thousand odd looks in his direction, what with the sudden appearance of a few hundred brooms, where once was nothing, and casually strolls over to the exclusive pennite entrance.

"Underwear, now." Came the less than pleased voice of a troll, one who had been collecting underwear for a while, not counting all the tricks and foolery of many other mages.

"Yes, here you go." Xaious replied, handing Melba the Lovecraftian Cthulhu boxers. "Please, don't hurt yourself trying to figure out the colors. They're far from the normal spectrum."

Xaious entered the room, smiling as he passed a dumbfounded troll that was, undoubtedly, attempting to decipher the colors.

A few steps into the room, he bent down to make sure his steel-toed boots were tied tight enough. Sensing that they were tight enough, and that he was blocking an entrance, Xaious walked over to the nearest person he could find.

"So then, what's we got to drink?"

[Finnius]

Having come to after seeing... shuder... a witch doctor... I assessed my situation. I had really only come down from the roof to try and grab Wyvern aside for a moment, but was again foiled in my plans. Wyvern, it seemed, was currently spinning out of control on the dance floor.

 

"If it's not one thing...," I began to myself, whipping out a pair of jack-boots and pushing them onto my feet, "it's always something... you try to do things the nice way," as I grabbed a leather jacket and threw it on over my best black robes, "but NO, life just won't let me be nice, will it?" I reached out in a random direction and fixed my steeliest glare at whomever happened to be in it. "Jeans. Now."

 

To my great surprise, someone actually handed me a pair of blue-jeans, which I promptly ripped the knees off of. I slipped these on under my robes, so as not to flash the party, then pulled off the bottom half of the robe, leaving me with a torn off black shirt. "Baseball bat and black magic marker."

 

After these things were provided, I took the marker and wrote, in large black runes on the shaft of the bat, "Beat On The Brat!" Finally, I was ready.

 

I pushed my way out onto the floor, shouldering stunned mages out of the way in my path towards Wyv. I briefly encountered Elladan towards the back, and spared him the shoulder, opting instead for a polite tap and a wave. The dance floor by this time was crowded once more, with several mages spinning in circles in time with the music, apparently thinking that Wyv was doing some sort of line dance.

 

Now, I thought to myself, How to stop him from spinning long enough to talk to him... Whereon I inserted the baseball bat into Wyv's projected path of spin, somewhere near the top...

 

As expected, his scaley snout whipped right into the bat, releasing his momentum, and nearly dis-locating my shoulder. Wyvern fell to the floor, partially out of dizziness, but mostly out of the bat to the face. I stared down at him for a moment, lying there in the middle of the dance floor, little cartoon ducks floating around his head, bags of geld in their mouths. I considered dragging him off into a corner and addressing certain... design flaws with this setup. I considered taking the bat to his head again.

 

I am, however, a proponent of creative venting.

 

So I slung the bat over my shoulder, raised a hand into the air and pointed down at my current location, directly above Wyvern, and addressed the dance floor in my loudest voice. "I need a huge frickin' mosh pit, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW"

 

I then exited the crowd, stage left, before the pit arrived. On my way out, Elladan plucked at my sleeve.

 

"Y'know, that wasn't very... polite," he smirked.

 

"Tell yer da I'm sorry fer the display, and give him my regards. Oh, and when Wyv gets out of there, I'd like a word with him, if you'd be so kind..." I then stalked off to find the remainder of my clothes, only to find them gone...

 

Punk mode it was to be, then.

[Vanessa]

Slowly Mara stalked between the tables of the immense buffet, unscrewing the lid from her hip flask as she did. Her target was easily visible even amongst all the people, and she knew she had better do something to calm him down before there was trouble. Hastily casting invisibility on herself she crept closer-and poured the entire contents of the hip flask into Heinrichs drink that had been forced on him by some-unamed party goer. The unsuspecting victim rose the cup...drank...and blinked. Very slowly he lowered the glass to the table, held his staff at neckheight, and headbutted it.

 

Mara giggled from the corner where she was watching. Her personality-changing fluid strikes again!

 

Heinrich was now cross-eyed and making his way to the buffet.

[Quincunx]

No time to tell it. I think it's *crackle* Minta's fault though.

 

Rydia's long (but undecorated) ear curled into a question mark, then slumped in defeat. "Probably. . ."

 

She accelerated past the world boundaries. . .again. . .and landed here. Terrible place. No teleportation, no magic generally, and *cracklecrackle*

 

She winced and recoiled from the telescope, which was glinting from the static buildup. It arced from the lens to the table, shocking pink, then the reception cleared up once more.

 

she must have found *crackle* damn me for a wreck of *cracklecrackle* didn't recognize that I was apologizing or why. *crackfizzzzzzzzzzzzzle* don't know the pathways between *crackle* not submit myself to that damned naming magic *fizzzzzzzle*

 

The connection sputtered and died. Rydia was left with a deformed brass tube and the one lens that hadn't shattered from the pressure. She looked up from the slag and found Rosemary frowning, stringing a visible band of silver. . .mana?. . .between herself and the mess. The vampire counted each unmelted fitting, looked through her circled thumb and forefinger at Rydia's eye, counted her earrings aloud, announced, "All is zero, here," and drew another strand from between her pinched fingertips, connecting Rydia and the telescope.

 

"We are connected still. Go, circulate, make everyone turn thoughtfully thus, and spin to us. We cannot peacefully draw together all."

 

Rydia simply took the excuse to flee.

 

*****

 

Minta woke up with a giant head-splitting yawn. Zombies which had been trying to tiptoe to freedom tumbled back to earth with more-than-inhuman groans of defeat. She rummaged under her mattress, poked a captive wight in the eye, and pulled out. . .seventeen lumps of stickypaper? "Dunno when I got this," she mumbled, and flattened it out over her knee.

 

A few seconds later, she ricocheted out of the room squealing "party party PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! They're gonna have lotsa sugarsnacks an' fizzypop an' maybe a roller coaster! An' a merry-go-round an' would be neato if we got water balloon wars!" She dodged into a closet and emerged with boxes upon boxes of Happy Unbirthday balloons, then giggled and sprinted towards the elevator updrafts.

 

*****

 

"Oo! What is this you are doing with the MPD-O-Matic coolant, miss Mara! It is dangerous liquid, it is!" Dr. Tzimfemmestien confiscated the flask and slurped the last few drops out of it, then passed it back to a befuddled Mara. "OOoOoOo, I think I am feeling a change already!"

 

*****

 

"Tzigg SMASH!"

 

The security trolls let out admiring air-ripping farts. No troll chick was hotter than one who could flatten EIGHT frogs in one swing. Of course, a few machismo trolls had to try for nine. . . .Tzigg tipped another bushel basket of frogs into the automatic pitching contraption.

 

*****

 

"What is this I feel?

I am not interested. You!

Stop sniffing back there!"

 

Cambronne perked up his ears but otherwise ignored Katzaniel.

 

*****

 

Rydia sat on the lowest step of the staircase that led to the observatory, tugging off her usual boots and lacing up a pair of dancing shoes.

[HappyBuddha]

HappyBuddha, spotting Rydia, lets out a cry of delight and rushes over to her.

 

"Hey Rydia, long time no see - guess what i've got for you!"

 

Rydia, just finished with putting on her dancing shoes, bounds up and down frantically trying to guess what it is.

 

"A button!" "No" "A zylophone!" "No" "A cart! "No" "A house!" "Errrm, no" "An elephant!" "No, but I do a good elephant impression" "A fairy?" "Nope" *Impatient shift* "A yeti!" "What? Those don't even exist!" "A mell -" "Oh buggerit, its a SHINY!"

 

Rydia squeals with happiness and grabs the enormous shiny that HappyBuddha wips out from behind his back. She runs off with it laughing merrily, sure to cause destruction and chaos wherever she goes.

Edited May 14, 2004 by HappyBuddha

[Starlight]

The robed figure silently walks up the line, ignoring those in it. Upon reaching Melba, he stops and tilts his head slightly to the side.

Seeing the swirling stars under the hood that masks his facial features (if, indeed, there are any there - few people know), Melba quickly identifies him as Starlight, Immortal and Man of Terra, and a guest of honor. This is however a rare visit, so she stands there for a few seconds trying to think of a proper greeting, as well as whether to allow the two swords that are sheathed on his back.

 

A sense of enquiry strikes her as coming from under the hood, and she quickly gathers herself. "Entry fee, please."

"Certainly," Starlight responds, and a hand devoid of any colour but from the swirling stars and galaxies seen travelling across the skin is raised in front of her, seemingly holding something. Except there is nothing there.

 

A few moments of silence ensue, before Melba coughs lightly and says "The entry fee is a pair of briefs or boxers, m'lord."

"I know," comes the answer. "Hold out your hands."

Melba does as asked, albeit with a very quizzical look on her face, and Starlight moves his hand above hers. Melba suddenly yelps and bounces back a half-step as something soft touches her hands. Starlight lets go and Melba finds herself with something in her outstretched hands and somehow senses a grin emanating from under Starlight's hood.

 

Melba carefully touches her way around the object, which definitely feels like some kind of undefineable wool/cloth/silk. After a minute of this, she concludes: "Invisible boxers. How... original."

 

Starlight bows slightly and moves past her as she tries to not drop the invisible boxers on her way to the basket. He strides purposefully through the gathering crowd at the party, nodding briefly to the Dreamer as he passes. Seeing where the Dreamer is standing, he also makes a note of not sampling the drinks offered.

Sensing Wyvern's approach to greet him (and no doubt try to peddle some Almost Draconic wares), he steps into a doorway. He does not have time for idle chatter right now. Stepping aside to let a few unhappy-sounding zombies and a bouncing Minta, chasing said zombies, pass, he moves down a hallway lightly illuminated by a rising moon towards a small figure happily ignoring the world in favour of a shiny.

 

He makes his presence known to Rydia by lightly touching her face, bringing her out of her reverie of the shiny. "SHINY!" says Rydia, seeing the sparkling skin of her fiancé, and happily bounces into his arms.

 

"Happy birthday, my love" whispers Starlight to his future wife.

Edited May 14, 2004 by Starlight

[Katzaniel]

"No, Cambronne, away!" Katzaniel the tiger turns in circles as quickly as she can to shake off the dratted creature. "Bad time you choose, what a day... Can please you not - HEY!" The large tiger pads forward as quickly as she can and then turns back to give Cambronne a fierce warning glare. He doesn't seem to mind, but at the very least he doesn't follow yet. What does a cat like that want with a tiger anyway? Katzaniel didn't care what anyone said, when it came down to considering this piddly creature, size did matter. And that annoying Random_Pen_Mage_03! He'd certainly helped.. a lot more than he'd been asked to do. She wondered vaguely if the talking ability would last beyond the party. Small matter, she'd never use it again if she could help it.

 

Right now the important thing was to find Celes.

[Gwaihir]

It was an absolutely beautiful day outside, so of course Gwaihir was gardening. However, it was also a very hot day, so Gwaihir took his shirt off. It was still hot though, so he went and changed into his bathrobe. If women could walk around in dresses to be cooler then this seemed a perfect solution for a male. He was pleased with himself as he went back to his work. Today was a planting day, so his hands and nails were covered with dirt. Occasionally, when a drop of sweat started to roll down his nose he wiped it, so soon his face was covered in black streaks. One plant needed its talked to and as he held it above his head, much dirt got in his hair. It wasn't as if he noticed and if he did, he wouldn't have cared, because he certainly didn't rememeber what was going on. Wyvern had particularly taken the trouble to remind Gwaihir about the party, and Gwai had certainly tried to remember it. In fact, he'd written it on his shirt, which would have helped if he hadn't taken off the shirt.

 

To make a long story short, the Quincuinox was well under way before Gwaihir came in from his gardening, but when he heard the noise he ambled over to the main hall. Last thing he expected to see was a huge ogre. "UNDERWEAR" it bellowed, tired of these people who were trying to get in without paying.

 

"What?" Gwaihir said.

"GIVE YER UNDERWEAR!" It said irritably.

"I'm not..." He was going to say 'I'm not coming in, but just looking' because he knew that his appearance was ...well muddy to say the least. And he always got glared at when he came into a nice party looking shaking mud all over.

 

The ogre, however, was hungry and impatient. It only waited long enough to hear "I'm not' and assumed that meant not giving you any undies. With a yank it picked up Gwaihir and tried to strip him the way it had Finnius... Problem is that Gwaihir was only wearing a bathrobe.

 

It paused for a m oment, holding Gwaihir in one hand and his bathrobe in the other. Well, if this was the inner most layer of clothing then it must count as his underwear, it decided, so it threw his bathrobe onto the pile and threw the skinny elf across the room.

 

Embarassment wasn't really an emotion Gwaihir understood, but fear was and as he flew across the room, he was scared. It was quite a throw and at first he was going rather quickly, but by the time he got to the middle of the room, he'd slowed down considerably.... Only to THUD straight into an invisible wall.

 

Gwaihir was knocked out, he didn't see what had happened, but anyone else who was looking saw him fall into...of all beings it was the Dreamer he fell into and thudded hard into his forcefield.

 

The Dreamer frowned.

[Lady Celes Crusader]

Celes was chatting with MeThinksYourFoolish when Katzaniel interrupted her, telling her that Cambronne was annoying her. Celes grabs her black domestic cat.

 

- Thanks for warning me Katz. Cambronne loves to rubs his muzzle and side on everyone. I'll keep him in my arms.

 

Katz was confused. When she saw the cat, he looked like a tiger but now, he's looking like an ordinary cat. Celes notices her friend's interrogation.

 

- Is there anything wrong, Katz?

 

- Is Cambronne a normal domestic cat.

 

- Yes, Cambronne is a normal domestic cat, as you see in my arms.

 

- But... hum...

 

- Probably someone pulled off a mind trick on you. It's not uncommon here. Even myself can cast illusions of all kind.

 

- Oh sorry about it.

 

- Hey! There's no problem Katz. Why don't you join Methinks and I in our conversation. I'll make sure my feline will behave.

 

- Sure, why not.

 

All three were now chatting about nothing and everything.

[Savage Dragon]

"True, true, 'everything' isn't everything it used to be" MTYFoolish said, now back to human form, "But then again 'nothing' is the new Beanie Baby"

 

"You're crazy, you know that right?" Celes told him. Katz nodded in agreement.

 

"Yes, but at least I'm enjoing it." He told them, for that was the proper way to approach the problem of insanity or at least thats what it said in the AlmostDragonic Guide to Insanity.

 

"Well, I'm off to the buffet table" Joe told them and he turned to depart. Katz placed a hand, um... paw on his arm.

 

"The Were' Game was so

much fun but it had to go

you're no longer Joe", she said in a calm, bewitched voice

 

"Dang it, maybe I don't want it to be over" and he sulked away looking for seat L35

Edited May 16, 2004 by MeThinksUFoolish

[DL_Snake]

A cowled figure edges towards the line of people eager to enter the Conservatory party. It doesn't like crowds, but it has an infinitely curious streak. Moving towards the line, he nudged someone to ask what was going on....

 

"Aiiiiieee!!!! It's a monster!!!!!"screamed the hapless man and ran off from the line, dropping a pair of garish boxer shorts on the floor as he took off.

 

"Hey sir, you dropped something! Ello!!! You DROPPED SOMETHING!"shouted the cowled being. This just made the screaming man even more hysterical and he promptly fell off the stairs and stumbled downstairs.

 

Shrugging to itself, it turned around to ask another of the liner-up about the current event. One by one it made his way through the line, eliciting the same response from all the guests. Finally, it reached the front of the line, where it met Melba...

 

"Erm, excuse me, but someone dropped this a ways back, could you possible help me-"he was cut off as Melba impatiently shoved him into the room.

 

"Thanks for the entry fee, now stop blocking the line, sir". Melba didn't even bother looking under the cowl of the hooded thing as she manhandled it pass the doorway.

 

Suddenly finding itself thrust into the center of things, it shook off his cowl and revealed a reptilian face, drawing gasps of shock from the other guests. They slowly drew away from it, shooting fearful looks at each other as they did so.

 

It felt confused, usually this was not the response it received from other Pen members.

 

"Oy, Snakie! Why are you stealing my thunder? Is the reptile look IN this season?"boomed a voice, breaking the sudden deathly silence.

 

Snake turned around and spied Wyvern, mock glaring at him. Suddenly, he understood, he was off bargaining with a clan of snakemen and he forgot to morph himself back into himself after assuming the snakemen's guise!

 

Quickly encanting, a green light enveloped himself and he was transformed back into his manly guise, complete with his coat of arms, swordbelt and shiny boots. Wyvern nodded his approval.

 

"Glad you can make it, Snakie. What took you so long?"

 

Snake shook his head sheepishly, "Actually, I didn't know there was a party."

 

Wyvern slapped his own forehead in disgust, and then turned mirthful as Snake described his accidental entrance to the party....

Edited May 15, 2004 by DL_Snake

[Wyvern]

Wyvern clumsily shifts on the neon tiles of the dancefloor and groans, vainly attempting to snatch the geld from the mouths of the ducks that hover over his head as they slowly dissipate and vanish into thin air. The overgrown lizard lifts himself on one hand, then proceeds to turn green from the dizziness it provokes and collapses back into his initial position, whining in a high-pitched hiss as he waits for the world to stop rapidly spinning around him. He then turns his reptilian eyes towards Finnius' stylish-yet-adequatly-rebellious-looking jack-boots, which rest only a few inches from his scaly snout, and inhales a sharp breath when he hears the Blue Man exclaim:

 

"I need a huge frickin' mosh pit, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW"

 

"No..." the reptilian Elder manages meekly as he notices a dancer with spiked soles on her shoes advance towards his area along with countless other menacing steel-toed boots. D.J Terra Nova pauses the music for a moment with a flick of his hand, adjusting his mana-infused shades and nodding his head as a crowd begins to gather around Wyvern.

 

"No." manages the lizard once again, reaching out with a scaly arm in the hopes of crawling away as he notices several fawns and centaurs arriving on the scene, the horseshoes on their hooves still glowing red from their recent ironing and emitting small wafts of smoke with each step. D.J Terra Nova reaches for a record sealed in an iron envelope, and slowly pulls it out of it's casing with an iron grating sound.

 

"No!" cries Wyvern as he notices several unwashed troll feet beginning to surround his area, carniverous fungi and small colonies of centipedes attached to them, their stench immediatly inducing the lizard with another spell of nausea. D.J Terra Nova places the jet black record he now holds on the righthand side of his angel bone turntables, and scratches it twice to make sure it's ready to be played. The crowd then goes into an uproar as the music begins blasting at incalculable volumes.

 

"Rage Against the Machine SUCKS!

Rage Against the Machine SUCKS!

Rage Against the Machine SUCKS!

Rage Against the Machine SUCKS!"

 

"For the love of geld, NOOOOOOOO!" screams Wyvern from his position as the familiar tune of Death Rock's "THEY DEAD" begins playing and the crowd immediatly goes into an hysterical frenzy. The overgrown lizard shuts his eyes tightly and proceeds to say his last prayers, which involve mountains of geld, countless scantily clad women, and the dead body of Melba being dragged out of a lake; when he suddenly finds himself snatched out of the grip of disaster by a black-gloved hand.

 

"What th-" Wyvern manages as he notices a man in a ninja mask swiftly leading him away from the raging dancefloor. The ninja stops when he's reached the safety of a Twister board resting on the outskirts of the floor, and then proceeds to set Wyvern down on it.

 

"Geeze..." manages Wyvern, slowly swaying back and forth. "Thanks, mysterious unnamed ninja man, how can I ever-"

 

"HAAAAAIIIIIIIYYYYYYYAAA!!!"

 

Wyverns words of thanks are promptly interrupted as the ninja man proceeds to clobber him with a twelve-hit martial arts combo. Dusting off his hands, the ninja yells:

 

"That was for my cousins roommate, who you disregarded in your last martial arts video game scheme, you unworthy opponent!"

 

With that, the ninja promptly storms off towards the partys exit while Wyverns snout rubs against the "Red number four" circle of the Twister board...

[Ozymandias]

Ozymandias' brain twitched, as old awarenesses he had not used in a very long time were tickled by the minutest sensation.

 

Ye Gods...They're all here.

 

Tzimfemme(His mind briefly carried him away to waking to yet another sunrise in an expansive and utterly ravaged banquet hall with a stern naked woman clearing away the last of the debris while directing the aid of several in-house Giants and Golems who worked on the larger pieces, and he himself having another headache that rivaled that of Zeus 'birthing' Athena), Rydia, Minta, Rosemary...

 

He became lost in a microreverie again with the accustomed ease of a Phantasm Mage jumping from line of thought to line of thought imperceptibly quickly, no matter how much he actually mulled over a theme.

 

This time, his face nearly became sprained as a whole, as old thoughts of Tzimfemme, then Rydia, then Minta brought a subsequent wry smirk, then broadening smile, then a laugh out loud as he thought of them in succession, which was in its own turn cut short by more pensive memories of a woman in a tattered yellow dress sitting alone at a tavern one fateful evening.

 

Facial muscles tried to mirror in realtime speed Ozymandias' upswell of emotion, which was distracted yet again by the subsequent pain from the unconscious effort.

 

Oof. Wait... He reached out harder, while carefully limiting himself still to only polite 'listening', and eventually frowned.

 

Tzimfemmestein is still missing. Drat. Hers is one of the gifts I was most proud of, too. I daresay the Lady does not hear or receive much music. Ah well. She'll be able to hear the new curiousity later. I know I can count on any one of them who...isn't...Minta, he thought, stifling a chuckle to give it to her when they next see her, if I ask.

 

With that thought, the line moved again, and a decorously beaming Ozymandias stepped forward, clad in his best robes of his school, freshly washed and painstakingly polished armor, as well as a newly procured pair of flaming steel-toed boots (one never knows, after all...) with his horse-drawn chariot of gifts following obediently behind him.

[Snowz0r]

A cowled and heavily cloaked figure, with a massive beast that can only be described as a cross between a stegasaurus and a wolf, shuffles along patiently with the rest of the guest waitting to enter.

 

The rasping sound of scales rubbing against scales can be heard as the figure moves. Muttering under his breath, " Hisss..... it's been a long time...." the figure tightens his grip on his velium made brawlstick.

[Finnius]

Somewhere in the mass of confusion that is this party

 

I leaned against the wall, baseball bat in one hand, cool glass of scotch in the other. Initially, I had told myself that there would be no drinking for me at this party. The drinking was what escalated the last party to such heights of badness for me, and scotch has always been my personal poison. Eventually, Wyv was escorted out of the mosh pit by a ninja.

 

I thought about trying to intercept them on the way to wherever they were going.

 

"I can't make it on time," I mused to myself. So I let them go. I'd find Wyv later, anyway. So I mingled my way over to where the Savage Dragon was chatting with Katz and Celes...

 

"I remember you," began Katz, "I knocked you out!"

 

"I don't care," I said, brushing the matter aside, "I want you around."

 

I toasted briefly with my scotch and wandered off once more, this time encountering a stunned Gwaihir and a frowning Dreamer. I bent down to help Gwai up, and then realized that he was naked...

 

I looked up to the Dreamer, looked down at Gwai... looked at the Dreamer, eyes widening, then back down to poor, naked Gwai, a grin cracking on my lips...

 

"Knew it all along..." I giggled, then decided to get out of there before the Dreamer smote me. I waved at him as I left, though, "Don't stop living in the red!"

 

I traipsed back around the party, finally coming to a Twister board near the outskirts of the dance floor, where Wyvern was lying, face-down and fetal. I stooped down, resting on my heels, and caught his eye.

 

"Time to talk." I set the bat down beside me, and dusted off my knees. "Too tough to die, commando?"

 

Wyv looked up at me, pitiful and bruised. "Somebody put something in my drink... Fun night, eh?" He flashed me his trademarked toothy grin, and launched right into an apology, "I'm sorry-"

 

I cut him off with a wave of my hand. "Over it." I extended my hand to the big scaley son-of-an-unwed-mother, to help him up. "Party til you puke?"

[Orlan]

People passed through the enterence to the party with relative ease, or relative to the last time that Wyvern threw a party. Entire nations now were to be alerted whenever Wyvern was planning a party, thus entire nations knew when to simultaneously brace for impact and brace for party time. Many of those nations had people lined up out front, trying to get in but being turned away at the door for lack of invite or lack of gift. Two of these "bouncers" stood near the enterance with clipboards and secrect service style earplugs, surveying the crowd, making sure any rowdy folks were dealt with quickly....and escorted into the party.

 

"Hey Jim, do you hear something?" said one of the two. Jim turned to his companion.

 

"Hear what, Mitch?" Jim asked. Mitch stretched his neck and strained his ears.

 

"It's almost like a voice..." Jim said. Mitch strained his ears too. Sure enough Mitch heard it, like a slight buzz in the back of his ear. And it was getting louder.

 

"What do you suppose it is?" Mitch asked. A few seconds later both men could make out the noise now, and it was rapidly approaching.

 

"AAaaAaaAaaAAAaAAaAAAaAAaAaaAAAAAAaAaaAAaaaAaAAahhHHHhhh!!!!"

 

BOOM!!!!!

 

Part of the ceiling exploded in a fury of stone and more stone. It was a shower of stone and more stone. It was stonetastic, stonealicious even some may say stoneaholic. People cowered away, some ran for cover and others used the person next to them as a human shield. After a while the chaos finally calmed and Mitch and Jim creeped over to investigate the destruction and glanced over a large pile of stones.

 

Suddenly the stones pulsed with power, erupting in a light of unfathomable brightness. All averted thier eyes least they get seethed in the.....eh I'm sick of painting the picture, you get it. Mitch and Jim fell back and giant golden wings blast from under the stones, sending them flying in every direction. The wings where attached to a suit of the blackest armor, dark like the night was....uh....dark. A booming voice came from the armor.

 

"Behold! I am the Lord of All, King of Destruction, Master of Malice....I am the end of all! I come here today for one purpose! That purpose is.....uh.....uh.....oh crap."

 

The armor reached into its pocket and took out a piece of paper and brough it to its face.

 

"...oh yeah....Little Jimmy Bashawitzstiens Bar Mitzvah!"

 

"Uh....this is not a Bar Mitzvah...." Jim said through a quavering voice. The suit of armor glanced down upon Jim.

 

"What?!" the armor said.

 

"This is not a Bar Mitzvah....uh...sir," Jim said, wishing he could run away.

 

"You're joking....." the armor said as it looked around. "Well oh shi-"

 

The giant wings erupted in light and blinded everyone, when vision returned Orlan, Sexy Sexy Man, Elder of Bards, stood there in his finest black suit and glowing blood red tie.

 

"I must have taken a wrong turn at Katmandu.....what is this shingdig then?" Orlan asked.

 

"It's a ....b-b-bithday party for the Quincunx....and lunar eclipse..." Jim managaed to stutter out.

 

"Birthday....oh yeah it's Tzim's day...now I remember...she was my 9:45...Meh too bad lil' Jimmy and his Bar Mitzvah, it's party time."

 

"Wait!" Mitch said as Orlan began to walk in. Orlan stopped and glanced back at Mitch.

 

"Yyyyeeeeessssss?" Orlan asked with a tone of voice not unlike a distraught mother admonishing her child.

 

"Uh, you have to put in a gift for her," Mitch said. Orlan glanced at the pile of underwear that stood just beyond the threshold of the doors. Orlan snorted and continued walking. Mitch and Jim both ran and intercepted him, barring him from entering. "I'm sorry sir we can't let anyone in without a gift."

 

"Oh I see...well in that case..." Orlan's body exploded in light and once again the golden winged armor stood towering over the two men.

 

"Who dares block me!?! I shall ENTER!" the armor roared.

 

"B-b-b-b-ut it's Wyvern's orders that we don't let anyone in."

 

The armor once again vanished and Orlan stood there now in a glowing blue tie.

 

"Well if it's Wyvern's order then I can't help but.....OH MY GOD! What's THAT?!" Orlan shouted, pointing to the side with a flourish. Both Mitch and Jim turned and looked in alarm. Orlan snuck by.

 

"I can't believe that worked..." Orlan said and he entered the party to look for Tzimfemme.

[Zadown]

> bonk! <

 

Somebody naked almost fell on him, but his automatic defense measures flickered into existence creating a forcefield over him and then tried to summon his two bodyguards (last seen rotting in the Castle of the Birds, both chopped in two), without much success. He frowned at this interruption of a perfectly good tea-time, his eyes turning pale red. The naked, muddy elf on the floor on front of him, holding his head with both hands, did not seem very dangerous, but appearances could be deceiving.

 

Before he had time to decide whether the elf was a threat or not, some blue man in ragged clothes came and helped the elf on his feet. He glanced from the Dreamer to the elf, grinned and giggled.

 

"Knew it all along..."

 

Huh? Knew what?

 

The blue guy managed to depart before he had time to ask what that meant, waving, and shouted before he vanished.

 

"Don't stop living in the red!"

 

He turned his almost colorless eyes at the elf (who happened to be Gwaihir).

 

"What did he mean? And were we supposed to come here without clothes? I don't think I could remove my armor even if I was inclined to do so."

 

"Oww... no, the ogres stole my robes. Wait.."

 

Wincing in pain, Gwaihir uttered a spell that made the ground spring forth a set of vines that covered him better than average modern swimwear. Still, it was somewhat haphazard creation, and the frown on the Dreamer's face only deepened as he kept on staring Gwaihir. His eyes had changed to deep green with odd pinpoints of golden light moving in their depths, though. The planewalker muttered, half to himself.

 

"That still lacks a certain something .. I remember seeing some beautiful party suits of that color in Cáleathia. Hmmm."

 

Between the words he was speaking, he was already muttering on some other language as well, now totally forgotten the fact where he was and who he was talking with. The green in his eyes seemed to permeate the air around him as well, and distant cries of wild animals and birds could be heard faintly around him. The green glow got mixed up with bluish halo around the Dreamer as he drained more and more magic into the spell he was nurturing to full power. Some of it went haywire: a forgotten frog of Joat's army turned into a prince behind a potted plant, Katz's spell of speaking made her voice first unhumanly high and then manly low for a moment, one of the ducks carrying geld that had circled around Wyvern's head re-materialized and instantly bonded with Melba, thinking she was its mother and last but not least, one of the toilet bowls in the men's bathroom turned into massive albino crocodile.

 

Most of the mana flowed into the great spell, however, and the warm glow around the Dreamer was now almost painfully bright. He raised his hands, a crackling orb of green and white fire between them, and released the energy at Gwaihir. The orb of fire left a smoking trail as it soared through the air before striking the elf in the chest. Instead of turning Gwaihir into a pile of dust it was absorbed by the vines surrounding him.

 

"Ack! It tickles!"

 

The vines of which Gwaihir's new attire had been made woke up again and squirmed and crawled to new shapes. Some leaves grew and others shrunk, a few of the vines bloomed into white and red flowers, a few grew roots that gripped Gwaihir's feet, all twisting into weird shapes under the planewalker's will. In a minute or two it was finished: Gwaihir was now clad in a well-made (but clearly alien in fashion) green suit with white and red embroidery, a stout boot made of brown roots in both feet, all so exquisite workmanship it was impossible to notice the material had been living plant. The Dreamer muttered again, even fainter this time, apparently speaking to his own hand he used to stroke his beard with.

 

"That'll do, I think .. intresting excercise, yes."

[Xaious, Master of Time]

Sensing that the nearest person may well have been in the midst of a conversation, Xaious slowly walked over to the drinks table. Looking around, shifty eyed and everything one would do when being sneaky, Xaious began pouring Vodka into every drink that wasn't sealed closed.

"We're going to have some very happy party guests in a while..." He mused to himself, then taking a swig of his own liquor.

When an unknown Pennite came up to the table for a drink, Xaious stopped pouring the 'happy juice' and took another swig. The Pennite took himself a glass of semi-transparent blue liquid, and began walking away. As he took his first step, he also took his first taste of teh liquid. Afterwards, he could not walk straight if his life depended on it.

Of course, as such things go, his life DID depend on it. After a few woozy and lopsided steps, in the direction of and then into the giant moshpit, the Pennite tripped on his own feet, falling face-first to a very important meeting with the floor.

And then the Mosh pitters, unaware, trampled his body to a lifeless bloody pulp.

Luckily enough, though, his body spontaneously caught fire and rapidly burnt itself to an ashen powder that would one day cause life to start after the world was devoid of humanoids.

But before the world would ever go empty as such, a fair number of Mosh pitters also caught fire, considering where they were in relation to the burning pennite, i.e., right on top of his lifeless corpse.

And no one, not one of them, really liked their new-found flaming clothes. But they still began to run around, showing off the blazing attire to the entirety of the Pen, eliciting such comments as "Hey, nice clothes", "We don't want any", and the ever popular "AARRGHHH!!! It burns!".

Seeing this, and all from just one super-spiked blue drink, Xaious smiled to himself.

It'd been a while since he had a laugh so good. Not to mention how much he loved watching things spontaneously combust.

"Now then, THAT is what I call a party trick!" Xaious chuckled slightly, taking another sip of the great substance he held in his hand.

Looking around now, he began to assess the situation. More than half of the people already inside were yet engaged in some form of conversation or activity, the vast majority in the Mosh Pit of Doom.

He witnessed one member gaining clothes of vines, and decided it best not to contemplate how much that had to tickle, how much discomfort it had to have caused.

He beheld the Entrance of Orlan, and couldn't help but feel joyed with the great crashing and destruction that was his arival.

And then his eyes caught the twin figures of Wyvern and Finnius, both standing on a poor and unfortunate Twister board.

And then he noticed their lack of actually doing anything, decided that was where he should be, and started towards them, Vodka in hand and steel-toed boots on foot, with their new and polished spikes.

[Quincunx]

Stranded!

 

Tzimfemme jabbed her elbows into the seat, trying to prod some comfort out of it. Everything had gone as well as she could have hoped; one short sprint with her satchel swinging wide, one muttered apology as the satchel thudded into the drab's abdomen, and the child with Minta's genes was good as dead. This nonmagical world simply wasn't ready for true necromancy--and gods-be-damned, Minta belonged to her, not some subservient woman! So the little one was safe, yet Tzimfemme herself was tangled in clothes and forced to book passage on this world's dog-cart, back to the point where she'd been pulled into this world originally.

 

She sat back (leaning was impossible) and let her mind drift to the better world: nights of AoA craziness where druideen defended the underside of his table against all comers, Wench prying gummy off of her lower leg with a crowbar, Signe and her muscular self-warming carpet of slaves, three months of nothing but troll-speak "Smash! Chocolate! Random BAD! SMASH!". Tzimfemme grinned for the first time in weeks. . .Wench's gift glowed and crackled. . .a connection grew. . .

 

ZIP!

 

"Zip?"

 

"It's Malenko's fault," Tzimfemme supplied. Then she looked around. "Oh hallelujah, I'm back! WENCH! I haven't seen you in forever! How have you! Everybody! And new delicious orange chocolate! And--" Out of the corner of her eye, Tzimfemme spied the pile of underwear. The naked mage grinned maniacally, rose up from the floor, paused, and in a move inspired by countless Bugs Bunny cartoons, dove headfirst into the heap. A frog with a top hat peeped out of Melba's shellaced party hairdo and held up a 6.0 sign. The bluebirds of Appy's hair twittered angrily at the frog, raising a storm of shed downfeathers. Dean's feline familiar batted at a few feathers, then set his sights higher. . .

 

*****

 

Left, left, right, spin out--

 

Joat kept pace with the dancing couple. "Rydia," he began, as she spun out to the end of Starlight's arm, glowing like a small sun--

 

Spin back. Left, left, right, spin out--

 

"I see that you like him best of all--"

 

Spin back. Left, left, right, spin out--

 

"But you still like me better than Boaz, right?"

 

Spin back, lean back dramatically with one bedazzling dance slipper at waist height.

 

*****

 

"Mmmmm," mumbled Tzimfemme, coming up for air with some threads of the Silken Sweets stuck between her teeth. "Delicious. Spiffy. Wonderful. And enough people shirking from delivering their own undies means I'll have plenty to do later!" She leaned down and fished around in the pile, then extracted the bathrobe. "What I'm very interested in at the moment, though, is the justification for removing this, what--rule, exactly," and she laughed wildly. As the trolls scratched their heads and looked for where the No Undies Ogre had gone, Tzimfemme noticed the reek, incorrectly identified it as trollish instead of Happybuddhist, and slunk out of the area to clear her nose.

 

Led by her nose, she wound her way around the Twister game ("Don't be so stressed, Finnius, I promise to not marry you"), upstairs ("Hi, Canid"--this to Tanuchan), among dozens of telescope arrays and one pair of magical recording-editing-x-ray binoculars ("Keeping away from Wyvern, Savage-Dragon? Smart idea, you two look alike to the intoxicated"), downstairs ("MINTA! Stop wasting perfectly good whipped cream! Put those balloons away!"), past the DJ booth with Falcon in tow (she handcuffed him to the turntable and shouted "PLAY 'THE LOVE ROCKET' OR THE POET GETS YOUR JOB!" to DJ Terra Nova), through the mosh pit ("DUDE! GNARLICH! YOUR BEARD'S COMBUSTING, MAN!"), and finally shot out of the mosh pit by the shore of a vast, virgin pool of chocolate, warm and thick as the finest wrestling mud.

 

She tipped back her head and breathed deeply, giddy with chocolate. "I'm almost going to regret this," sighed the naked one, then took three steps' running start and bellyflopped into the pool, mouth wide open.

Edited May 16, 2004 by Quincunx

[Ozymandias]

Watching Orlan's enterance with amusement, and feeling the reverberations of Tzimfemme's arrival to the party proper, Ozymandias began to wonder about the merits of continuing his wait in line.

 

No, I suppose I should, decided he wearily. Must set a good example and such.

 

...

 

 

I do hope that rather large quadrupedal...gent isn't carnivorous. We'll likely end up with enough unstoppable predators who manage to show up on their own to the point we won't want to worry about guests' bloodthirst as well.

 

As a pair of zombies in party hats glancing furtively over their shoulders at the enterance passed by, Ozymandias wordlessly pointed toward the nearest exit.

 

Grunting their thanks, the dripping twosome shambled off as fast as they could.

[Yui-chan]

Far away from the Pen...

 

She ran the brush through her hair one last time, watching in the mirror as the man behind her tucked his best shirt into his leather breeches. "You remember what I told you, love?"

 

"Of course I do," he answered with a smile, meeting that reflected gaze. There was a moment of silence before he realized she was waiting for him to actually recite the list back to her. He raised his brows, letting her know she was being silly, but still he took a deep breath and began ticking off points on his fingers. "First, don't eat or drink anything. Second, stay away from the dance floor..."

 

He paused, regarding her quizzically for a moment. "Why was that, again, hun?"

 

"Because if something's going to burst into flame, ice or other violence, it'll happen on the dance floor. Besides, when evil godlike influences attack, they always start there..." She frowned a little worriedly, carefully arranging her long tresses into a knot of curls and braids. "Keep going, please."

 

With a little smirk, he finished his own preparations and took a step forward to set his hands on her shoulders, amused by her motherly tone. "Right. Third was to always be wary when talking to Wyvern himself. You said something about disgruntled associates and creditors constantly attacking him?"

 

"Exactly," she nodded, deftly plucking and placing pins.

 

"Mmm... and the last one was to ... um..." His handsome face screwed up as he tried to recall her final 'rule', and she watched him through the looking glass, an amused half-smile on her lips.

 

"The last one was the most important, forgetful."

 

"I know. I know..." He pondered for a moment before it came to him, and then he chuckled, knowing suddenly why she might label it most important. "Oh, right. The last one was that I'm not to oogle Tzimfemme or anyone else I might find nekkid during the course of the evening. Although I do think you're being a bit silly, there. I don't oogle anyone but you, Yui."

 

Leaning down, Aegon interrupted his little woman's work to steal a kiss, kneading some of the tension out of her soft shoulders. She'd been nothing short of a nervous wreck since she'd first heard about Wyvern's well-advertised party, and spending the day warding and protecting the library against just about every disaster known to man had only made her worse. Her muscles were bunched like rocks beneath her skin, and as she sat there in her lovely silver-and-green evening gown, he could practically sense her running exhaustively over contingency plans for anything that might go wrong. As if that could actually mitigate the damage of a Wyvern party...

 

Aegon shook his head and turned away to the sideboard. She was far too tense, and he knew her well enough to say that if he didn't find some way to help her relax, she'd never be able to enjoy the party. It was time for drastic measures.

 

A moment later, the swordsman smiled at his pretty lady in the mirror, setting a small glass down in front of her. Yui raised a delicately-arched brow, blinking at the amber liquid. "What's this?" she asked, tucking the last jeweled comb into the intricate knot of her hair.

 

He smiled his most innocent smile, doing a decent job of not looking as devilish as he felt even as he carefully controlled her perceptions of its scent and taste. On some days, it was extremely helpful to be a Master Illusionist. "It's just tea, sweetheart. I thought it might help you relax."

 

The thought earned him a warm smile and a quick peck on the cheek as she rose from her vanity and picked up what she thought was a lukewarm mug. "That's thoughtful of you, but I rather don't think I'll relax until this evening has ended – preferably with the Pen still in one piece..."

 

"Well," he answered, feeling incredibly smug as she took a healthy sip, "maybe a good drink will do more for you than you think."

 

Her mumbled "perhaps" was muffled by the cup as she made quick work of the drink, feeling the passage of time keenly. The party would be in full swing by the time they arrived, and she feared what mischief they had already missed. Aegon knew her thoughts, however, and when she turned to get her cloak, he was already standing there and holding it out for her, his gaze warm. The only question was which he felt more in that moment, care or mischievous glee...

 

****

 

The Pen Keep...

 

Yui had decided to sidestep the guarded entry long before, but when she saw the length of the line, it only reaffirmed her decision. Not only wasn't she willing to have Aegon hand over any of his undergarments to Tzimfemme or anyone else, but she wasn't willing to wait any longer than necessary to get busy trying to mitigate damage in the party. Waiting in line simply wasn't an option.

 

So, the shadowwalker and her husband emerged from the darkness in one corner of the Conservatory, carefully avoiding startling anyone save the random villager who was huddled against the wall, rocking back and forth as he muttered about tornados and frogs. Aegon blinked at the man and shrugged, drawing Yui away when she would have gone to try to see what he was so upset about.

 

"Leave him be, love," he commanded, taking advantage of the fact that she seemed to be a little less than fully steady on her feet thanks to her low alcohol tolerance and the disguised glass of rum. "Let's go see the Dreamer, shall we?"

 

He hid a grin as her eyes lit up, the frightened man promptly forgotten. "Oh, the Dreamer is here? At a Wyvern party? Goodness... that's either a miracle or a disaster. We'd best say hello..." Yui glanced at the doorway to make certain that they'd slipped in unnoticed by the bouncing team and then led the way to the other wall, careful not to step on the frogs milling about. She suddenly felt a lot more optimistic about the party as a whole...