Krista Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 I had nothing to do one evening after a certain incident.... 10 times guilty I`m guilty for not being grateful enough, I`m guilty for being sometimes too tough, or maybe just because I`m too weak and for not being always so very neat. I`m guilty for being so modest they say but if I wouldn`t be, I`d be guilty in other way. It`s said I`m guilty when I very much talk but it`s also wrong when I silently walk. They think I`m a fool if I don`t fall in love but they don`t know that of their knowledge I`m above. I`m always guilty for not being guilty at all, that`s because between me and the world there is a wall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaeha Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Hmm... this reminds me of my mom. She's convinced that she can't do anything right. I like this... but it seems as if you had to rearrange your sentences a lot to make the rhyme work out. I may be a little odd... but when I write my poems, I write my line with my rhyme word in mind. It's like "Ok... I need something that rhymes with bare, so... dare, bare, lair, rare, tear, tare, fare... lair. I need to work in something about a lair." Maybe try that, if it makes any sense? *Hugs* I know how this feels. (Many apologies if I'm unintelligible today) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krista Posted December 30, 2003 Author Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Actually I do the same what you`ve just said..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragonqueen Posted December 31, 2003 Report Share Posted December 31, 2003 I`m always guilty for not being guilty at all That really struck home. My sister hates me because I seem perfect to her. It's kind of ironic. Nice job expressing everything. I think it's okay the sentences are twisted around a bit. I do that sometimes. but if I wouldn`t be, I`d be guilty in other way. I think maybe if this was changed to but if I wasn't, I'd be guilty in every other way. But that's just me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted December 31, 2003 Report Share Posted December 31, 2003 Hmmm. Guilt just seems to me to be such a wasted attitude. It chains people into the past and forces odd controlling overtones on them 'cause usually someone is trying to force the guilt on them, trying to force the error into the person and combine them. "You erred because you are bad." How silly. How defeating. "You erred because of this. You might be good, you might be bad, but that really has nothing to do with fixing the error." That seems a bit more productive to me. It would seem to me that it would be more productive to acknowledge a problem occurred, brainstorm on how to prevent it next time, and then move on through the present into the future and when the occasion occurs again, implement the solution determined in the brainstorming. lather, rinse, repeat. Define the problems, not the person. -A Peredhil two-cents Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solivagus Posted January 5, 2004 Report Share Posted January 5, 2004 It's been tried many times Pere...goes against human nature though doesn't it Thanks for shring your writing Krista Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merelas Posted January 7, 2004 Report Share Posted January 7, 2004 hmm... Guilt is an emotion we all feel, and you expressed it well throughout this poem. Nice work, and keep writing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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