Curious Mylo

Stalker It stared through my window And watched as I worked I glanced out to see that It quietly lurked I turned away from it In hopes it would leave But two hours later It tried to deceive I walked to my neighbors And I tried to hide But I couldn't escape Its eyes open wide At home I found it had waited all night The sun was my rescue It ran 'till tonight. I'm have a lot of trouble with the last part mostly, but some other parts in there are more awkward than I'd like. Any suggestions would be MUCH appreciated.

They're two different little... mini doodley thingys that I kinda like. Plus, I love this smiley thingy. Its cute!! THE END! ,.-+'+-.,.-+'+-.,.-+'+-.,.-+'+-.,.-+'+-., Beneath the quilt the unknown lies Above the colors seek new eyes Stitched with many things in mind One soul purpose they won't find. ,.-+'+-.,.-+'+-.,.-+'+-.,.-+'+-.,.-+'+-., Inside their eyes the fury stays Sizzling stares, gouging glares Snowflakes sparkle through the greys All is forgotten in her nightmares. ,.-+'+-.,.-+'+-.,.-+'+-.,.-+'+-.,.-+'+-.,

Shades Pure revenge, my only thought Nothing like my mother taught Anger built up from so long Proves your judgments all were wrong I'm not as happy as I'll be Don't think I'm only what you see The anger hides under the skin Always locked up deep within Yet all at once the anger fades Sunlight from behind the shades Revenge wastes time that you could spend Dancing through the stars. The End. Thankyou Much!

Shades Pure revenge, my only thought Nothing like my mother taught Anger built up from so long Proves your judgments all were wrong I'm not as happy as I'll be Not always the way you see The anger hides under the skin Always locked up deep within Yet all at once the anger fades Sunlight from behind the shades Revenge wastes time that you could spend Dancing all through time. The End.

Hiding in the darkness Way too scared to move I can't see what's around me But maybe I don't want to For all I know the door is here But it could be gone by miles I don't know what's beside me If there's anything at all I can't tell who is with me If there's anyone here anyways I want to move but can't What if something breaks What if I'm standing by the door What if I'm alone I don't like alone But no matter who is with me, I'm alone I want to scream but can't How loud would it echo Or who would yell at me I should just move Go really fast See what happens But I don't want to break anything I need to find the door I need some kind of light And if I get there I'll be out But if I break things on the way out I don't want to look back Not to see all I broke How could I fix it? Especially all on my own What would happen if I closed my eyes And see where I go Maybe to the way out But maybe deeper in the darkness Maybe darker in the darker How will I know? I won't, not if I don't try How can I know my limits If I never test them If I never take a chance Hopefully soon I'll let go Of everything I can't yet So then I can find my way out To start to fix the unknown The unknown broken-ness

Staring out the window. Grass bows to the south. Filtered light among the clouds, And no sound leaves my mouth. I try to speak, to answer you, But nothing came out right. So now it won't come out at all, The words all hide in fright. Just wait for me to be okay. I'm nothing but their sin. Everything from my mouth Disintegrates to wind. I've never been good with that stuff. SO! I decided FORGET IT ALL! If there's no punctuation at all, then I can't mess it up! But yeah... there are a lot of periods there. A lot of tweaky choppy sentences. But it doesnt look as naked!!

Silent Screams Staring out the window Grass bows to the south Filtered light among the clouds And no sound leaves my mouth I try to speak, to answer you But nothing came out right So now it won't come out at all The words all hide in fright Just wait for me to be okay I'm nothing but their sin Everything from my mouth Disintegrates to wind.

Quincunx -- It's really hard to put in a lot of what I saw going on in the aside in Scene Two and in all of Scene Three while also letting the actors figure out their own Character and their own reactions. I didn't want to put in stage directions and have every step planned out for them, so most of what's actually going on in their heads will have to be explained to them. The story was intended to be mostly about the conflict and what's going through the character's heads vs. how they act towards each other and what they say. Thankyou! I'll keep all this in mind, too!

Wyvern -- This was written for the Advanced Theatre One Acts at the end of this month. It was pretty rushed so it didn't turn out as I had hoped, but I still like it. I really don't like writing plays with time limits. It had been A LOT longer, but I had to cut it down and it took out a lot about the relationship between Katie and Lauren. Then about Lauren and Chase's relationship. It's pretty frustrating. I do love this topic, though, because there are so many ways to look at it. There is so much to say about it. Watching the characters go from questioning everything, to jealousy, to fear of rejection, then suddenly to the realization that it wouldn't be all that bad, then back to questioning themselves and everyone else. This could be several acts long, and there would still be more story to tell. Thankyou for the comments! They'll help a lot.

So much confusion. But it's alright. It's not a problem. There's a weird feeling that I'm supposed to be confused. I'm completely numb. The only thing I feel is hollow. Yet it's alright. I'm completely blank. There are the bad thoughts, Yet it's alright. I've got that smile on my face, And I can't get it to go away. There are so many reasons to smile That even when I'm not thinking about any of them I'm still smiling. The reasons not to Just dont matter. This whole blank state is slightly weird. But it's not a problem. It's good.

Scene One Katie: You’re FINALLY here! I’ve been trying to get him on the ring of fire for an HOUR!! Lauren: An hour? Ryan: She’s been trying to rip my arm off. Katie: Whiner! Chase: He’s not a whiner. He just likes having his arm attached. But if it were me, I wouldn’t be putting up that much of a fight. Lauren: I almost forgot! Katie, this is Chase. And Chase, this is Katie. Katie: Hi! Chase: Hey. Katie: Chase… Chase… hah! So if I thr… Chase: No. I don’t play fetch, Frisbee, or chase… (Chick in a bikini walks by) whoa. Ryan: Hey, (Clues him into Lauren’s pissed-ness) GET A CLUE! (AWKWARD SILENCE) Katie: OH! Everyone, this is Ryan. Ryan, this is… well, everyone! Ryan: Hi. Katie: Now that all the boring introductions are done, why don’t we go on the ring of fire or something? Ryan: Not that again. Lauren: Can’t we find a less scary one? Ryan: Like that one, with the polar bear on it. Lauren: That looks good. Katie: I’d rather… forget it. No. Just no. Chase: The ring of fire’s a good idea. Lauren: Do we have to? I think the polar bear’s cute! Katie: And WIMPY! Ryan: It doesn’t look so bad. I mean, look at it. No way to fall from the air to your crushing death or anything. Chase: But you just sit there and go in circles. Lauren: That’s not such a good argument considering you’re whole point is going on the RING of fire. Chase: But… Katie: You don’t even go up or anything. It’s basically a fast carousel. Chase: Can’t wait to go on THAT. Woo. Lauren: Actually, that doesn’t sound so bad. Ryan: I would rather go on that than the same basic thing, except up in the air instead of on the ground. Katie: Okay, no. A polar bear CANNOT beat fire! It just doesn’t work that way. Lauren: Since when has this been about beating it? Chase: Since you two refused to go and picked a child’s ride. Ryan: Actually, you have to be about this tall to go on it. Chase: Good to know anyone taller than my knee can go on it. Lauren: Slightly exaggerating I hope, but yeah. I get it. Ryan: You might, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I do. Chase: Okay fine, maybe not my knee. But they… Katie: GOOD GOD!! (She grabs Chase’s arm and starts dragging him off) (Katie tries to take Chase’s sunglasses but he won’t let her) (Ryan and Lauren: AWKWARD SILENCE) Ryan: err… Polar Bear? Lauren: Okay. [blackout] Scene Two [Lauren and Ryan are standing in line for cotton candy and Katie drags Chase on] Katie: Lauren! (To Chase) Loser! Hurry UP! (tackles Lauren) We went on it 19 times!! Non stop!! Chase: She didn’t puke. AT ALL! That one’s psycho. Katie: You... that's a different story. Lauren: Wow. That’s special. (Ryan puts his arm around her) Katie: I have to, uhm… PEE! THAT’S IT!!! I have to pee!! Lauren? Lauren: okay, yeah. I have to pee, too. [blackout and Music stops] [Lights come back on somewhat blue] Lauren: This is weird. Chase: I got here and everything was easy. Ryan: But now, what am I supposed to think? Katie: I still like Ryan just as much as I did when I got here, but I can’t deny that Chase is hot. Chase: And he’s thinking the same thing about Lauren. Lauren: She’s so pretty, so how could he not like her? I don’t want to get dumped. Ryan: Wait, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. Chase: It would save time dumping her. Katie: What if Chase doesn’t even like me? I could be making the whole thing up. Lauren: But if I’m not, and he really does like me Chase: He’ll die. Ryan: How could anything happen if Katie’s always there? Katie: It couldn’t. So the only way to change that would be to dump him. Chase: But if she likes Ryan then I wouldn’t have to worry about it. Lauren: But, I don’t want to lose Chase. Ryan: Especially to such a loser. [blackout. Lights and Music back on.] (Girls exit) Chase: It’s way too effin hot. Ryan: I’m not much of a summer person either. I’ll go for spring or fall. Chase: Winter’s good. Ryan: Too cold. Chase: Yeah… (Girls come back) Katie: Lets go on another ride! Lauren: The Carousel! I love the carousel! It’s so weird. You get on, go around in circles and see the same thing, then you get off in the same place, but you’re not the same. Chase: uh… huh… Katie: Ferris Wheel? Ryan: Sounds good! (They all exit) [blackout] Scene Three [They all walk on all tweaked out] Ryan: Uhm… food? Chase: Food’s good. Katie: COTTON CANDY! Can we go get some? Can we can we can we? Ryan: Fine, let’s go. Lauren: Could you get me a pink one? Ryan: Yeah. (Chase and Lauren go get French fries and go back to the bench) Katie: (To the cotton candy guy) Hey. Carnie: Hi there. Katie: Could I get a blue one? Carnie: Are you sure you don’t want purple, too? Katie: Yeah, I’m sure. I only have enough for my blue one. Carnie: Then take it. It’s free, you’re pretty enough. Katie: Really? Oh! Lauren wanted pink. So how much do I owe you? Carnie: Oh, that’s not a problem. Just come by later… Ryan: (Puts the money down) Come on Katie, they’re waiting. Carnie: What? Katie: But it was free!! Ryan: I wonder why. Katie: Here Lauren! There’s some purple too if anyone wants it. Lauren: Purple? Katie: What? I didn’t do anything too bad. Ryan: Just volunteered to “come by later”. Katie: Woah, wait a sec there, I didn’t volunteer. I never said I would. Did you hear me say I would? I didn’t think so. Chase: But did you say you wouldn’t? Katie: No, but that’s not important. Lauren: Kind of like when you seduced the lifeguard when that guy fell in? He almost drowned. Katie: It’s not my fault the guy couldn’t hold his breath!! Lauren: Yeah, just like it’s not your fault your top came untied? Katie: Around my neck. It's not like it showed anything!! And it wasn’t my fault! You untied it. Lauren: Tiny details. Katie: But yeah, the lifeguard wasn’t so hot after he put his shirt on. Lauren: Not many are. Ryan: We’re still here. Katie: So Lauren, are they all that pretty where you live? Lauren: Not THIS pretty, I’m just that good. Katie: Yeah, you know that guy you were drooling over a few summers ago that lived next to my aunt? Lauren: I was not drooling!! But yeah. Katie: You’re looking at him. Lauren: What? You? Ryan: Yeah, that’s me. Katie: You were drooling. Lauren: I was not. Katie: Were to! Lauren: Whatever. So you’re her boy next door? That’s so cute! Ryan: I guess? Chase: Hey Laurie, we’re gunna have to go soon. I have to get Erik his car back. Lauren: Now? Chase: If I don’t get it back before he has to leave, he’ll torture me. Lauren: Can we go on one more? Chase: Which one? Katie: Ring of… Ryan and Lauren: NO! Katie: Okay then… Lauren: The carousel? Katie: uhh… Chase: I guess… Ryan: okay then. Lauren: yay!! [They all exit – Blackout] Scene Four [same setting as scene 1] Katie: I don’t want to go home NOW. Lauren: I know, me neither! Katie: You have to call me sometimes soon, then you can come over. Lauren: I will! Then I can get my blue jacket back. Katie: HEY! I like that one!! Lauren: I know! So do I! Chase: Hey Laurie, do you have the keys? Lauren: No… I dunno what you’re talking about. Chase: What? Lauren: They’re right here. You gave them to me. Chase: oh. Katie: (hugs Lauren) Call me! Promise? Lauren: Promise! Katie: ‘Kay. It was really good to meet you! (hugs Chase) Chase: Yeah, you too. Lauren: (hugs Ryan) Nice meeting you. Ryan: Nice meeting you. (to Chase) you too. Chase: Yeah. [walk off in other directions] Lauren: I LOVE YOU!!! Katie: I LOVE ME TOO!!! THE END!

"yay!!!!" Broken_Inside jumps up and kisses Wyvern on the nose and runs out more excited than she was when the toilet got unclogged. From down the hall there's a crashing sound. "I HAVE TO PEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!"

You know... you're possibly the biggest 5 year old I know. I love it!!! You're a brilliant 5 year old. Smarter than me! And... are you ready for this one?? You're CUTE!!! You really are. *hugs* Loves!

Sarah: Anna, the window’s stuck!! Anna: So is the door. Sarah: It won’t move? At all? You mean… we’re seriously stuck in here? Anna: For good. Sarah: What is WRONG with you? We’re stuck in here and you’re just sitting there making faces at me? What good will that do? Anna: I… I can’t move. Sarah: Why NOT? You’re not stuck to the floor. I don’t see a gun to your head. I don’t… Anna: Sarah! I… I… I have… to pee… Sarah: But we’re about to DIE!! No TIME for peeing!! Anna: It’s not my fault. [Front door opens and closes faintly] Anna: Did you hear that? Sarah: Yeah, is that your brother? Anna: (Jumps up and runs to the door) Riley! [Faint Door Slamming Shut.] Anna: No. All I wanted… (Sits down again) is a cookie. Sarah: A cookie? We’re gunna die and you want a cookie?! Anna: I like cookies. Sarah: You are an idiot. I am stuck here in my death room with an idiot. Anna: And you’re mean. Sarah: So! At least I get what I want. Anna: I get what I want, too! Sarah: Except for when you let people walk all over you. Anna: I do not. Sarah: You do! Face it! GAH! We’re stuck here and we’re about to starve to death and all we can do is sit here and fight? Anna: I WANT A COO… (Anna’s mom, Holly, opens the door.) Holly: Are you two okay in here? Sarah: Uh, yeah. Holly: Goodness! It’s burning up in here! (Goes to open the window.) You locked the window? You haven’t done that since the neighbors got robbed. Anna: Oh yeah. Sarah: You freak! It was just locked? Holly: (On her way out.) Oh yeah, Anna, will you take out the trash? Sarah: Not until after she pees. She’s been whining for hours. Anna: (realizes she had to pee really bad.) GOTTA PEEEEEEE!!!! (Dashes out.) Sarah: (swings the door a bit.) The door opens IN you nerd! (Calling to Anna then walks out.) [Toilet flushing sound the blackout]

Scene 1: [Rhonda and Molly are walking down the Toilet Paper aisle at QFC] Molly: Hey Ron, (half whispering) is it just me or is this really embarrassing? Rhonda: You mean the whole T.P. shopping spree? (Shrugs.) We’ll live. Molly: I’ve never gone shopping for toilet paper, that’s what my mom’s for. Rhonda: Get over it, Your mom won’t last forever. Molly: What kind are we supposed to get anyways? Rhonda: Whichever kind’s better I guess. Molly: But… how can you tell? The wrapping stuff is in the way. You can’t see which one’s softer. (short pause while Rhonda looks at the different kinds) OH OH OH! RHONDA!!! LOOK!!! It’s got a bear on it!! Rhonda: That’s the CHA CHA CHA bear, right? Molly: Yeah!!! It’s the (sings) “less is more, less is more” bear!!! Rhonda: Yeah, but it sings a lot better than you do. (half joking) Molly: We should SO get that kind!! Just because it’s cute!! Rhonda: Wait, there’s a puppy on this one. Molly: Oh yeah! That’s where the little kid falls and the puppy rolls the toilet paper so the baby doesn’t get hurted!! Rhonda: We should get this in honor of the puppy so faithfully risking its life to save the baby. Molly: Don’t forget the cha cha cha bear!! Rhonda: The puppy is better. Molly: Bear! Rhonda: Puppy! Molly: Bear!!! Come on, it’s so much better, it SINGS!! Rhonda: But the puppy saves the baby!! Molly: So? The bear sings. (The QFC Manager walks over to them) Manager: Excuse me ladies, is there a problem here. Rhonda: Yes there is, (shoves Molly to the side) okay. Am I right when I say that the puppy is so much cuter than the bear?? Manager: Well, Miss, the quality of the toilet paper isn’t determined on how… “Cute” the wrapping is. Rhonda: But the puppy is cuter, right? You know it is. Just admit it. Manager: I’m sorry, ladies, but there are other customers and other issues I have to attend to. But the Charmin is better quality in my opinion. (Walks away quickly before they ask any more questions.) Molly: I WIN!!! Rhonda: Yeah, sure. Whatever. Molly: But… how many do we get?? Rhonda: Hmm. One roll is about two days of you taking off makeup, so a pack of 24 would last you about (pauses to calculate) a month and a half. One should be just fine. Molly: (Puts one in their cart) But what if I run out halfway through taking off my makeup?! Rhonda: Oh man, that would be so … horrible. (Mimicking) Molly: Terrible!! Rhonda: Unspeakable. (Still mimicking) Molly: Even… tragic!!! Rhonda: (rolls her eyes.) We better get you two just in case. (Puts another in their cart and starts walking down the aisle to the checkout stand) [blackout and plays the Charmin Ultra Less is more song.] Scene 2: [Rhonda and Mollie are on their way to the checkout stand. There are 6 random shoppers around.] Molly: (Singing.) What you used to love now you’re gunna adore! With Charmin Ultra less is more. Rhonda: Shut up Molly!! (Elbows her) Molly: Owwwwww…oooooo!!! Look!! (Points at a skirt) Rhonda: Isn’t that a bit small? Molly: Nope!! It’s stretchy!! (Stretches it) Rhonda: oh wow, they are. (Getting interested) Molly: I like the pink ones. Oooooooo!!!! Look!! Matching hair fluffies!!! Rhonda: I like the green ones. (Notices the hair bands) Hey, they fit our wrists. Molly: Look! There’s a pink Tiara!! Rhonda: Nice. They’ve got those crown things from the fair. Molly: How much do these things cost anyways? Rhonda: Who cares, I want to try them on. Molly: Here? In the middle of the store? Rhonda: Yeah. Why not? Molly: Won’t we get yelled at?? Rhonda: I dunno, wanna find out? Molly: (shrugs) Ok! (They both put on the skirts and hair fluffiez on their wrists.) Molly: How do we put the tiaras on without a mirror? We can’t go in the bathrooms with the stuff. Rhonda: Don’t they have mirrors behind the veggies? Molly: … and your point is… what? I don’t want to stick my head in the veggies to put a tiara on. Rhonda: I don’t mind. (Walks over to the veggies and puts the tiara on.) How does it look?? Molly: Gorgeous. Scoot over! My turn!! (Puts her tiara on) Rhonda: Beautiful. I’ve got an idea. Molly: What?! Tell me!! Rhonda: Want to play hide and seek? Molly: I LOVE THAT GAME!!! Rhonda: I’ll hide first. Close your eyes and count to 20. Molly: Okay! (Covers her eyes and counts to 20.) READY OR NOT HERE I COME!!! (Walks off to look for Rhonda and leaves the cart with the toilet paper.) [blackout] Scene 3: [Molly walks on looking for Rhonda who’s hiding behind another shopper.] Molly: (to the customer) Excuse me… (To Rhonda) Gotcha! Rhonda: Catch me if you can!!! (Grabs an empty shopping cart and races off stage) Molly: umm… hmm… (Grabs a customer’s shopping cart and runs after Rhonda.) WAIT FOR ME!!!!!! [Laughing off stage] (Molly chases Rhonda across the stage with the carts.) [More laughing and screaming off stage] (Rhonda chases Molly across the stage with the carts.) [Crashing sound from off stage.] (A cart gets pushed across the stage.) [blackout] Scene 4: Customer: (Walks over to the manager) Excuse me, have you seen those girls running around here? Manager: No, I can’t say that I have. Customer: Well there are two girls running around here dressed like princesses with shopping carts. One of them stole my shopping cart!! Manager: (Thinking) I’ll take care of this shortly. Customer: Thank you very much. (Walks off stage) Manager: Princesses with shopping carts huh… (Walks off stage slightly amused.) (Molly and Rhonda run across the stage holding hands and then Molly trips. She gets back up and keeps running.) Rhonda: Klutz! Molly: Shut up! You’re so mean to me!! (The manager takes a few steps out and stands there looking at Molly and Rhonda.) Molly: Hi! Rhonda: Hello. (Cautious.) Manager: There’s a slight issue with (looks at the skirts) this. Rhonda: Excuse me. Manager: Are you two going to be purchasing those items? Molly: Um… are we Rhonda? Rhonda: Well. Maybe. Manager: Maybe meaning. Rhonda: Maybe meaning most of them and the rest… none of your business. Manager: Would you be willing to put the items you won’t be purchasing back? Rhonda: Yeah, fine. We’ll go do that. Manager: Thank you, and have a good day. (Walks off) [blackout] Scene 5: [Rhonda and Molly stand in the frozen foods aisle] Rhonda: (Sadly) We stand here today in memory of the cuteness that has recently died. And… Molly: (Interrupting) but of course it’s not all of our cuteness, because we’ve definitely still got a lot left. It was just a portion of it that was killed. Rhonda: (Dorky) I know!! Oh wait… sad. (Suddenly sad) As these really beautiful ice cream bars get eaten, so does our sorrow. Let go of your sadness and open your hearts to the joy that surrounds you! Molly: can I eat the ice cream now? I’m still feeling pretty sad. Rhonda: Molly. I’m not done yet. Molly: oh, sorry. But when you’re done can I? Rhonda: I’ll consider it. Molly: thank you. Rhonda: You’re welcome. Now… (Suddenly sad again) Does anybody have any memories they would like to share? Molly: oh oh oh!! Me me me!! I remember the moment we met. We were standing over next to the cash… ringy thingys and it was SO CUTE. It’s so sad that it had to die this way. But I’ll never forget it. Rhonda: Now lets close our eyes and have a moment of silence in memory of the cuteness. (Rhonda and Molly close their eyes and look down in silence as customers hurry by them but look up when they’re gone.) Rhonda: Now as we leave eating our ice cream, never forget that cuteness can be found anywhere. Even in a grocery store. Thank you, and goodnight. Molly: You’re welcome. (Pause) Now, do you like strawberry or chocolate better? (They walk off talking while the Charmin Ultra song plays.)

Hun, you really need to take a few steps back. Look at what you just said. Then compare it to how you’ve been acting lately. You say I matter. A lot. I used to believe this with all my heart. You not only said it with your words, but with your actions and with your eyes. Your eyes give away everything. When I believed that I was important to you, I could call you up at 3:30 in the morning just because I couldn’t sleep. You would get up and read me stories until I was asleep and then sit there listening to me sleep until you were asleep and your phone died. When I believed that I was important to you, I could call you when I was on the bus and you would grab your bag and meet me at the bus station so we could go to the park. When I believed that I was important to you, you would come to my house after you got off work and lie on the floor and watch Disney movies with me and eat gummy bears until we puked. When I believed that I was important to you, you would go to the fair with my family and me and go on all the upside down rides with me because my sister refused to. (Pauses and smiles half laughing.) We even t.p.’d a Christmas tree on my cousin’s porch because we didn’t have enough t.p. for the whole house. Now I find it hard to believe that I matter more than a snail. When I can’t sleep, I still call you, but your phone’s always off. When I get on the bus, I still call you. But you’re always busy with the guys so I just sit on the bus and ride it around until I get home again. After work you’re always busy with the guys so I watch Disney movies all by myself eating gummy bears until I puke… all by myself. Last week my family and I went to the fair. I either sat next to people I’ve never seen before and most likely won’t ever see again, or all by myself on all the upside down rides. It’s no fun without you. Do you even remember how long it’s been since I’ve seen you? Exactly five weeks and four days. In those five weeks and four days I’ve found more reasons to believe that you don’t care about me than any reasons I ever had to believe you did. Don’t even try to tell me you do. You’re eyes give away everything and they’re screaming that I’m right. They plead guilty as charged.

Today is the day. (Paces nervously) No! (Hits herself on the head) Stop Lauren Stop! Nothing bad will happen. No reason to be so nervous. (Getting more unsure every word) No reason… at all. He’ll still love me after I tell him. He’ll love me still… I know he will… I hope. (falls onto the couch) It’s not like I’m gunna go off and kill myself. Life is too much fun. There are too many people that I care about. I couldn’t do that to them. (To the audience) You’re all gunna call my psycho now. Right? Without the sugar coating I… (Pause) I… (Closes her eyes and says it fast) am a cutter. There! I said it! I am a cutter. I cut my wrists. Blades, blood. Yeah. The whole deal. But you don’t understand. I’m not the kind of cutter that hates the world and wants to die. I’m the kind that (long pause) needs to know that I’m really here. When she walks by and looks right through me, it hurts. We used to be best friends. It gets me thinking that maybe I’m invisible. Not only to her, but to the whole world. What if I’m not really here? Sounds dumb, but it really feels that way. But… seeing the blood shows that I’m alive. For those few minutes you feel that no one can hurt you. One time… I cut too deep. The two people that knew told me to stop. “What if you accidentally go too far?” I don’t want to lose you. You’re too important to me. I’m not going to lose you to something like this.” Their words echoed through my head all night. Normally, it stops bleeding after a few minutes. But hours later, it was still bleeding. Even when I went to bed, I couldn’t get it to stop. I was so terrified I would go to sleep and never wake up. Or… wake up dead. I’d end up watching everything my death would cause. I only slept a few minutes that night. I was too scared to sleep more than that. Even after I was scared that badly, I still can’t stop. It’s gotten to where it’s a part of my daily routine. I just… can’t stop. But it scares me the most to think that if I do… yeah… it would hurt him. When I felt the worst ever he walked to my house at 3:30 in the morning to bring be a bag of cookies. He kind of… doesn’t know. He’s never seen the cuts or found the blades or any of it. But I feel like I’m lying to him. I can’t do that. I can’t hide it anymore. The two people who knew think I stopped a long time ago. I have to tell him. If he finds out before I tell him… bad bad bad. Very very bad bad bad. I’m scared. I’m scared that no matter what I do he’ll hate me. Unless I stop. But I can’t. Not for him. Not for anyone. Anyone but me. And I’m not ready to stop yet. I need something to be able to count on. One thing that can prove I’m really here. That you aren’t all staring mindlessly at an empty stage.

It's been revised a bit since I first put it on here. ,.-+'+-.,.-+'+-.,.-+'+-., In the last few years of my life, I’ve changed in more ways than I can even say. Even since last year, I’m different. The biggest changes I can think of are: 1. I started High School and 2. (pause) I met you. You opened my eyes to a whole new part of the world. I could see that people lived differently than I had ever known. I could see that I didn’t have to be perfect. There was a different side of the world I had never seen before. Notice, I said different. Different isn’t always good. You showed me so many new things that I was surrounded by the fantasy. I got all wrapped up in the lies, because I liked them more than reality, and I couldn’t see what was coming. (pause) You showed me a whole new kind of pain. I knew this pain existed, but I never knew how horrible or how deep the pain went. I didn’t know that it would haunt you for the rest of your life. Now… (looks down) … thanks to you… I can honestly and whole heartedly say… (looks back up) I know this pain first hand. (pause) I've been dancing with it for a while now. And I've learned its dance very well. At first all I could do was follow its lead. And it lead wherever it wanted, as fast, or as slow, as it wanted and all I could do was follow. But I learned its dance, and I've learned how to lead. Once I lead it to it’s seat, I can dance with someone new. In the last few years I’ve visited your part of the world, I’ve ice skated with freedom, I’ve ran face first into reality, and danced with your haunting figure. Yet even though it was painful and I could have avoided it, it was worth it. If there was one moment in my life I would relive, it would be when I chose sprite over dr. pepper last night. Anything more important would rewrite my whole life story. What you did hurt, but I love where I am in life. I’ve learned a lot. I know how strong I am. In a sense, I owe you something. I owe you (pause) a thank you. Thank you for allowing me to visit your world. Thank you for teaching me to ice skate with freedom. And thank you for haunting me. Day and night. Without you I wouldn’t have a chance to be here, I wouldn’t have the friends I do, and (pause) I wouldn’t be me.

He's mine. He comes up with the mostest evil things to say to stupid people, but in a nice way. He's mine. He's my second adopted daddie. He's mine. He looks for the good in people... well... unless they hurt someone important to him. Then they dont deserve that. He's mine. He listens to people even when they're bawling and hard to understand. He's mine. He understands even my hyper rambeling. He's mine. and... He's mine. *nods*

I like this. It's really... I don't know the word, but it's good.

I like it. If I could write that good at 3AM... a lot of what I write would be better.

Every day it's the same thing. (mimicks) "be happy!", "Smile!" or "geeze! is it THAT hard to be happy?!" Do you even have an idea of what you're talking about? "I know exactly how you feel." NO! No you dont! Yeah, okay. Maybe you've been through the smae kind of situation. But dont assume you know how i feel. Feelings. They're so weird. Putting them into words is hard. There are so many of them. In the same second you can feel both excited and nervous. You can be really curious about the answer someone will give you but scared to ask the question to begin with. In one sentence, one little sentence, someone could crush you. Tear your heart into a billion pieces. But that one sentence could also be the one thats going to put you on top of the world. How do you know? How do you know what they're going to do? What they're going to say. Or.. no. I don't even want think about that. It's amazeing how much control one person can have over someone else's feelings. Someone else's thoughts. Someone elses's emotions. They could do anything. Any... thing... whatever they feel like doing. You're head is... infested. Everything you think about. Whether you want to or not, they're all you CAN think about. They distract you... even when they arent there. Then they say the words. Everything is wrong. In less than a minute you whole... world is changed. Feelings you didnt even know existed came crashing down. Then they're replaced by other feelings. So confuseing. ALl of this going on in your head. All of it so fast. So... uncontrollable. Changeing how you feel is like changein gyour hair color. You can dye it, but it's always going to come back. Deep down, you know it's there. Whether or not anyone else does. Right now, I feel a lot. Towards you, I feel ... angry. Frustrated. A lot more feelings that i cant explain in any way other than they're not good. You don't know me. You don't know how i feel. Stop trying to tell me you do. Stop assumeing you know my life story. Stop assumeing my feelings and emotions are any less confuseing than yours are. I'm not the happiest person, deal with it. I do, every single day. Don't judge me before you know me unless you want me to judge you before i know you. I promise that it wont be good. If you can't deal with me and who I am, I don't think I can deal with you. Any part of you.

Deep into the mist Behind the sheets of blood Across the field from the knife He lays in a puddle of mud Screaming angry words Dieing in the rain Wishing it was over Just to rid himself of pain He doesnt think of others Or what his death would cause What did he think would happen When he broke so many laws? He lays there looking at the stars Watching for the last time Blood drips off his wrists As if his life's the crime Once his lungs are empty Every drop of blood is gone He's breathed every last breath He didnt live till dawn What could have made his life so bad? So bad he had to leave He only saw one way out The way his life would weave But now it all is over No way to rewind If only we knew sooner So we could change his mind

I added this later. ~*~*~*~*~*~* (walks over to Ellie) Ellie… what’s wrong? Ellie: huh? (looking up) Narrator: what happened? Ellie: nothing. (looking away) Narrator: hun, I’m not stupid enough to believe that. You don’t cry when you’re okay. Ellie: okay, you’re right. (wiping away tears) Narrator: You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I can’t do anything to help if you don’t. Ellie: it’s just the flashbacks. I’ll be fine. Narrator: I don’t understand. Ellie: I don’t expect you to. Narrator: Just remember that I’ll always be here for you. No matter what. Ellie: Thank you. Narrator: (hugs Ellie and walks away) You’ll always be my midget. Always. Ellie: (laughs slightly and stands up) She doesn’t understand what’s going on. No one does. Yet… (pauses) she knows exactly what to say to stop them. Other than perfect, there are no other words that could begin to explain it. (the lights dim and Ellie walks off)

I have no idea what to name this, any suggestions? *~*~*~*~*~ (Ellie sits at a desk writing in a notebook behind the narrator) Narrator: Why does she feel this way? Why is she never home? Where is she safe to stay? Where she is not alone. She leaves that place called home Puts on the mask and hides the fears With friends but still alone In the rain no one sees the tears. For years Ellie’s depended on the rain. In the rain no one can tell which drops are tears, or if they’re just the rain. Ellie’s become a very good actress by now. Even in her own home she can’t take off the masks. No one can see the pain in her eyes because of her convincing smile. No matter how vile or grim the truth may be, her smile hides every trace. There are a few reasons she does this. One of them being her father, Bryan. He is the cause of many of the tears the rain hides and a great deal of the pain behind the smile. (Narrator walks off to the side and Bryan walks in.) Bryan: Ellie! You’re so easy! Look at you! It’s no wonder guys like you. Oh wait, THEY DON’T! They like your looks. You don’t even have a brain behind the looks. Ellie: But dad, I’m… Bryan: I know, you’re (mimicking) doing your best. But that isn’t good enough. You’re best should be As, not Bs. (Ellie walks toward her desk but Bryan grabs her arm and pulls her back) Ellie: Dad! Stop! Please… (Bryan pulls her closer and crosses her arms over her chest tightly.) Ellie: (quietly)… it hurts… stop… I can’t breath… (Ellie tries to fight her way out but every time she moves Bryan tightens his grip.) Bryan: (Slightly laughing.) You’re just making this worse for yourself. Just stop fighting it and I’ll let go. It’s that easy. (Ellie continues fighting until she cant breath and then stops) Bryan: See. It’s just that easy. (Bryan lets go of Ellie and she falls to the ground.) Ellie: (quietly) go away. (Ellie closes her eyes and covers her ears) Ellie: go away. go away. go away. Go Away. Go Away. GO AWAY!! (Bryan stands there staring at her and then the lights on him turn off) Ellie: (whispering to herself) go away go away go away go away. (Ellie looks up and sees that she’s alone and gets up and runs over to the desk and starts writing in her notebook again.) (The narrator walks back to center stage) Narrator: Bryan has treated Ellie like this since she was 4. He only loved her if she was who he wanted her to be. But she still refuses to be fake. He’s only ever said “I Love You” to her once in her life. She was in the hospital and almost dead. Sometimes, deep down, Ellie’s wanted to be the sick again just so he would say it again. Ellie’s never been allowed to say no to him, She’s never been allowed to walk away from him, and she’s never been allowed to even suggest that he’s wrong. Now… Ellie had gone a long time without seeing her dad and had mostly healed from his abuse, and then she met Kris. Kris told her she was everything. He made her feel important. Then he turned all her friends against her so she would only have him. She didn’t know any of this was going on so she felt lucky to have him and that she was nothing without him. He began pressuring her to have sex with him, and when she said no, he left her. She was completely alone, and abused. (The narrator walks off to the side and Kris walks out. He leans against the side of her desk. Ellie looks up at him.) Kris: I’ve missed you. Ellie: What? Kris: Things aren’t the same without you. Ellie: huh? Kris: You’re crazy. You’re so happy all the time. The world needs more people like you. You don’t take it when people give you crap. You’re like… a light at the end of a tunnel. Really, you are. When I’m with you, it’s impossible to be unhappy. You make me smile. Ellie: who are you and what did you do with Kris?? Kris: It’s me Ellie! (Kris walks half across the stage and turns around to look at her) Kris: I’ve changed. I’m not making it up. It’s been a year and I’m tired of seeing you walk by me with people. You all look so happy. I’m always wishing that I was one of those people… that I was that happy. Ellie: Change isn’t always for the better. Kris: How do you know whether it is or not if you don’t give me a chance? Ellie: I don’t. Kris: Exactly! I thought High School is all about chances. Ellie: I’ve already given you a second and even a third chance. Kris: okay, yeah. You did. But that was before. I just started talking to you a week ago so in a sense, we kind of just met. Ellie: yeah… true. But… (Kris walks up to Ellie and puts his hands on her shoulder) Kris: I’ve changed Ellie. I’m not lying to you. (Ellie looks up at Kris) Ellie: Promise me that you’ll never do what you did to me again. Kris: I promise Ellie: I wasn’t expecting it to be that easy. Kris: See. I’m easier to get along with. You are too. You’re a lot happier, and you’re a lot easier to talk to. You used to be really unrespectful, too. Ellie: Don’t you mean disrespectful? Kris: err… yeah. That’s what I said. Ellie: That was a year ago. A lot of things have happened since then. Kris: Like what? You have a boyfriend? Ellie: yes. Kris: oh really? Who? Ellie: Jeff. Kris: Jeff who? Ellie: Martin. Kris: I’ve never met him. Ellie: you’re blind. Kris: Is he? Ellie: no… why? Kris: (stepping closer) Would you tell? Ellie: Maybe. It depends on what there is to tell. Kris: What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him. (Kris leans over to kiss Ellie and she puts her hand over his face and steps away.) Ellie: You… you were planning this all along. Kris: Don’t assume things when you have no idea what you’re talking about. Ellie: I wasn’t assuming. Kris: You haven’t changed a bit. You’re still a worthless piece of crap. (Ellie stares at him for a second and then looks down. She walks over to the chair and sits down.) Kris: Don’t ever forget it. (Kris turns the chair around with Ellie still sitting there. He grabs her wrists and pulls her close to him) Kris: You’re nothing. No one really likes you. Everyone left you, why would they want you now? You’re lucky that I came back. (Kris pushes her up against the desk and walks away. Then he turns around and pulls her back and spin her around ending up with his back to the desk) Ellie: You… Kris: I’ve done so much for you. Why would you want to do this to me? Ellie: Because… (Ellie really quickly runs up to him and pushes him off the back of the desk.) Ellie: Oh. (Pauses) Crap. (Ellie runs across the stage and Kris gets up and chases her. He puts his hands on her shoulders to stop her and turns her around.) Kris: You're just a worthless piece of crap that no one really likes. They all left you. They left you because they got tired of picking up after you. Deep down, you're broken. On the surface, you're worthless. Don't ever think you're anything but that. Worthless and completely broken. (Kris pushes her back and walks off) (Ellie stands there for a second and then runs over to her desk and opens a drawer. She pulls out a box and opens it. Then walks around in circles staring at the box. She comes back and closes it.) Ellie: I’ve bled enough for you. (Ellie puts the box in the drawer and closes it and gets up and walks around in circles again. She walks back over towards the desk and pushes the chair over and leans against the desk crying. She falls to the ground and leans against the desk crying.) (The narrator walks to center stage) Narrator: Behind the mask that she portrays Is where the truth lies. Sprained not broken, but betrayed, All alone she cries. If they saw her crash and burn, Or if they saw her all alone Would they have any concern? Or would they ignore the unknown?