Solivagus

Like I said, ramblings. Never said they made sense The pale faces surrounding me. The dead hands reaching for me. The eyes of accusation staring at me. The steps of death chasing me. The press of fear surrounding me. The heat of anger warming me. The ache of loss weakning me. The price of my failure indebting me. The golden hawk with broken wings. The quarterstaff with metal sheath. The rising sun in red and gold. The House of Duras standing proud.

Accusing eyes of emerald green, Telling me what should have been, Walking arm in arm with death, Never again to draw a breath. Invisible claws grab my hand, Tearing off my golden band, The hawk in flight has lost its heart, Always alone, always apart. The bright blue sky holds clouds for me, My enemies close eventually, Thier laughter tears away my soul, Now they've accomplished thier dark goal. However hard I may try, I'll see her face until I die, It haunts my dreams each lonely night, Filling me with painful fright.

Down in the depths where no man goes, Down in the depths where it always snows, Lies a dead girl all alone, Cold as ice and soft as stone. Pale dead face sees me with hate, To see her always is my fate, No matter how hard I might try, I'll see her face until I die. Silent voices in my head, Telling me I should be dead, Repeating that which I already know, That I should have been the first to go. She out lived the knives my brother sent, Made me think my life well spent, But in the last she was killed by a car, Life extinguished like a falling star. Why wasn't I the first to go? It should have been me amidst the snow, Instead she went when nine and ten, Nevermore for me to see again.

Heinrich stared intently at the star map being displayed by R1, his eyes constantly being pulled back to the unexplored sector of the Androma quadarant. That area had run constantly through his dreams as he slept. Now matter how much he tried to clear his mind it was constantly being pulled back to the unmarked area of space. Shrugging slightly he programmed in the course that would take them towards the sector and pressed engage. It would take a while for him to get there, but he felt sure it would be worth it. Once the ship was moving he pulled a small datapad from his back pocket. Quickly he typed in the pascode that unlocked it. A small viewscreen sprang to life, showing the inside of the droid yard at the Jedi academy. Smiling slightly he punched in a series of commands. Small lights began to light up on areas of the datapad, and the view rose a few inches as the droid the datapad controlled came back to life for the first time in years. It had been a present he had made for Lorna for her eighteenth birthday. His smile widened as he remembered the look on her face and the mock outrage she had shown when he told her he had made it so she didn't have to worry about losing the passcodes to her door again. Just then Varix popped his head 'round the doorway and Heinrich hastily switched the droid back off and slipped the datapad into his pocket again before the Ranger could see. For some reason he couldn't explain he didn't want Varix knowing he had a way of seeing what was going on in the Jedi enclave. "We're heading off to an unexplored part of the Androma quadarant." He said calmly. "Hopefully there I will be able to find people and ways to teach me how to use the Force, rather than just having to listen to lectures about self control."

Heinrich carefully made his way down the drive shaft, trying to ignore the amount of space that was below him. He moved slowly, making sure not to make any noise that would attract attention. He reflected on the generosity of his friend, Varix. Other than Lorna he wasn't sure he could trust anyone else in the academy not to inform the council of his plan. "I can't even be sure about Lorna either the way she looks at life." The thought saddened him. Suddenly, while his mind was wandering, his foot slipped on one of the rungs below him, and only an instinctive grab for handholds stopped him from falling. He hung there, motionless, while he tried to get himself back under control and back to breathing normally. He supposed he was lucky he had been able to catch himself. Tipping his head slightly he listened for noise, but there was none. Another stroke of luck. He bagan his descent again, refusing to let his mind wander. The climb ended in a maintenance hatch, which he swiftly unclipped and swung aside. He crawled out slowly, checking around for any watchers. No one would be guarding the hatch of course, but it was next to a side exit to the enclave and he had come too far to be stopped now just because he wanted to get out of what he considered only just short of being his prison. Sure enough, a Jedi Knight stood at the door, his back to Heinrich as he studied the grounds outside of the complex. Heinrich vaugely noted that he had never seen the sky so blue, the grass so green. I'll come back one day. Realising he was merely postponing his departure, he quickly ran through his options. He could kill the Jedi, a difficult task and one that went against everything he had been taught. He could retreat, and that wasn't an option at all as far as he was concerned. The last option was to use the force. Heinrich smiled grimly. Focusing the power that ran throughout him, he struck out with it at the Jedi's mind like a whip, trying to distract the Jedi for long enough for him to make his escape. He felt some slight natural resistance as his power met the Jedi's mind, but the Jedi was not expecting an attack, was not ready for it. He had no chance. The force struck in to him almost savagly, dousing his mind in pure energy. Heinrich gaped as he felt the power he had unleashed run through the Jedi, then let out a gasp of pain as a backlash of the force hit him, making him dizzy and almost causing him to faint. When he regained control of himself his mouth gaped open in horror. The Jedi was lying sprawled on the grass, not moving a muscle. Jedi mind trick shouldn't have had that effect! Quickly he hurried over to the Jedi, and was relieved to find a pulse. He took hold of the Jedi's shoulders and with some effort manouvered the body into the maintenance hatch. Closing the hatch, he quickly made his way through the gate into freedom. The power he had unleashed at once terrified and excited him. He needed to find a true Jedi Master quickly. That is one of my quests-if you want to be a Jedi Master fine but you can't be the one who will be my teacher

I was going to try and write a story about the Jedi, but considering the lack of success I have had with my Heinrich stories I decided to put a topic in here and hope that people would join and create a story that way. Heinrich paced his room angrily, thoughts of his traing running through his head. Damn it all, it wasn't fair! He had more talent than any other student save one, he had raced through his training passing all the tests with a speed that had astonished his teachers, and yet they still would not award him the title of Jedi Knight. His master just droned on and on, explaining the uses of a lightsabre and the force despite the fact he had already proven he could match his teacher blow for blow. Why, only today he had bested his master in a combat that had started off with a sneak attack from his teacher. He had used the force effectivly and his master had had to admit defeat. Why then wasn't he a Jedi Knight?! With a soft hiss the door behind him opened and he whirled, hand on the lightsabre he had crafted himself, ready to defend himself if he had to. When he saw who it was he relaxed, though he did not take his hand from his weapon. Just to touch it felt...good. "Twitchy today aren't we." Lorna said, her voice carrying a trace of amusment. The smile faded from her face however when she saw he had not released his sabre. That thing sent shivers down her spine. The haft was longer than the standard sabre, and she had her suspicions about why. It was inlaid with red gems that seemed always to catch the light and make her feel like it was watching her. An absurd thought of course but one she couldn't shake. "What are you doing here Lorna?" Heinrich growled, his anger seeping into his voice despite his attempts to be civil. Lorna's eyebrows raised, but one glance into Heinrichs eyes told her the reason for his words. "They refused you agin, huh." "They have no right! I should have been a full Jedi long ago, as should you. "You must surrender to the will of the council," she replied calmly. "They know what is best for the order." Heinrich sneered. She always sided with the council, no matter what thier descision or who it hurt. Lorna saw the look on his face and took a deep breath, restoring her emotional balance. "I believe I had better go before you do something you regret." She said quietly, before turning and leaving the room. As soon as she had gone Heinrich realised he had come to a decision. The academy had taught him everything it could, the Jedi council refused to acknowledge his abilities, and his only friend and challenge refused to admit that the council made mistakes. It was time he left to seek another teacher. Hastily he packed his bags, all the while forming a plan on how to leave the academy undetected. Lorna = Vanessa

Lonliness brings you depression? You're right, everyone is different

I've only just read this thread, but I thought I'd chuck in my view anyway, while I've got it straight in my head. Depression itself, in my opinion, is something to be got over as quickly as possible. But it must also be experienced. The feelings it sends through you, the messages it brings you...they help you to see. Everything is so much clearer, you see what the people you saw everyday before you were depressed actually mean. You see them say they're sorry, and you can see it as if it's written over their faces, you can see that they're lying. You can fully understand what they mean, the garbage that cluttered the view before depression has all been moved. When people lie, you see it. When people say they are sorry you can see that what they really mean is "We don't actually care, we just came along for the free buffet after." It's invigorating to finally see the side of the world that some part of you, before depression, somehow hid. Some people are lucky of course. Some people are able to see both sides without having to step through depression at all. My congrats to them. Then again I could just be rambling, maybe I'm the only one who didn't see both sides. Ah well, my view has been posted, hope it wasn't a waste of space.

You can see them if you look hard enough. Emotions, feelings, impulses, instincts. Most, nearly all, rise up to a peak and fall, Falling back to the bottom to wait thier turn. But then you have hatred, pain, suffering. Endless torment caused by the falling of the most. The constants in life, they are eternal and endless. Look to them for the answer to life. You love someone, they die, love falls. Back to the bottom of the pile to hide. In that falling, only the constants remain. Felt all the more keenly thanks to the small rise. You suffer, burning and raw in mind and soul. You feel anger rising, rising through you in a wave. Hatred to the killer whether you or another, And despair for the memories and how to go on. You see the lies and false sympathy around you. You see the full truth of what people say, Their sneers at what you so foolishly thought right, You realise the truth of the world in the constants. Hatred gives you new eyes with which to see. The view is so much clearer, sharper, sweeter. The bitter, sour taste of the unknown assails you, The constants protect you, you remain safe and warm. This doesn't say enough, but I can't think how to fit more in.

Here I am just sitting on a hill, Laughing my my poor head off. Your complaints have come to nil, So I sing into the treetops. For while you seem to always try, To change the way my mind works, You'll never take away deaths sigh, Go home and do your school work! Live your life as nothing'd wrong, Continue the wat you're living, At the end of the day you'll remember this song, You'll know just why I'm singing. You'll dress in black and understand, Just why I feel as I feel, As the coffin sinks below the ground, You'll know at last the worlds will. If only I could say what speed and tune to read this it would probably sound a lot better.

***Jerks his thumb at his avatar-works for me Address: http://thumb0.webshots.com/s/thumb2/7/47/5...50jVyOqB_th.jpg Signature address: http://thumb4.webshots.com/s/thumb1/7/49/1...14ordsnP_th.jpg I can't test the signature because I have no idea how to put a picture in.

The end of religion is drawing near, But all of the priests will have nothing to fear, They can come over to my place for somewhere to dine, And then drown them selves in red holy wine. All of the bread can go to the starving, Save those of whom are marked for the carving, For in the future all men are food, You ought to try it it's really quite good. Anyway where was I, oh yes, dead religion. Man has woken up and seen his dillusion. He now sees that god is a fake and a fraud, No more are the people now overawed. The few priests remaining try to hold onto their faith, They simply don't get that god's an empty wraith, Thier life has fallen apart, there's nowhere to go, But the carvers are waiting, to the priesthood they go. After all, helping people, that's what they are for, Now no one is starving, one for their score, But how could they die, watched over my god, I suppose he was sleeping, just having a nod. Some people may wonder why I feel this way, There's no reason for hope, what more can I say? I live only because I'm too tired to die, At least I make people happy, they laugh 'till they cry. I realise this poem is rather a ramble, But all of my mind is quite in a scramble. My head now is throbbing, can't stop thinking the worse, Now that I realise all life is a curse.

All the doctors and the nurses, Causing headaches and sharp curses, Causing confusion with simple fact, Asking their questions with so little tact. Trying to understand what's easy to see, Trying to solve a false puzzle in me, Doing their utmost to misunderstand, These so called geniuses upon the land. Questions about the ring upon my hand, Questions of the hawk on golden band, They fail to come to any conclusions, All they leave are more confusions. How can they miss what all the rest know, They believe I hide what I plainly show, Instead there are sessions and endless talks, The only bright side are the long outdoor walks. False kindness abounds through hospital grounds, People come in with false sympathy sounds, In truth doing their best to make my life worse, All that they are is a damnable curse.

The sun shines down from a deep blue sky, The wind rolls across the plains, stirring grass in its passing. Tree leaves whisper thier secrets into my ear, As I climb thier brances towards the sky. Far above I see a hawk running through the air, Deep strong wing beats humming with the power of nature. I see wolves running across the landscape, Soft paws leaving no mark on the earth. I see the river tumbling in the distance, Rolling down the hills bringing health and life to the area. Bubbling with the joyus laughter of spring, As it seeks out new paths to swiftly tread. All around me I see nature spreading its glorius arms, And I rejoice. Heinrich mutter irritably under his breath trying to think of a way to expand the unnaturalness of the poem, then hastily posts it before he changes his mind and burns it.

Just in case no one has answered yet, email the files to me as an attachment if you can, and I'll upload them to my web space.

Heinrich lowered himself into the armchair, being careful not to show how much his back pained him. The scars caused by the claws of the demon that had attacked him on the astral plane ached abominably, but there was no way he was going to let Vanessa know that. He made a steeple with his fingers and wondered how much she needed to know before beggining his story. "Why did I go onto the astral plane?" he mused , half to himself and half to Vanessa. "I needed some information. Information about my Staff and about the events in the world that I fail to recieve while I am closeted here. I could always go outside of this place of course, but there are just as many people willing to attempt to harm me outside as there are demons on the astral plane. Indeed, there maybe more." "Why not just change in to some other clothes." Vanessa snapped back angrily. "There's no need for you to carry on wearing the robes of an order that cast you out, especially when it puts you in danger. And you still insist on wearing that amulet, even though it practically pinpoints your location to many of the creatures in this world." "We are all foolish at some time or another." Heinrich replied calmly, a small smile on his face. "Defying your father in his own hall was hardly the most sensible thing you could have done, let alone making his anger worse by telling him the reason you were leaving was to learn from me." Vanessa flushed angrily but refused to give up her argument. "What I did was for the best." she snapped angrily. "My father was wrong to banish you, even if he did have good reason. Humiliating him infront of his people. You know how proud he is." "As proud as almost all elves." Heinrich agreed amiably, the smile on his face growing wider. Angrily and on impulse Vanessa took up a nearby silver cup and flung it at Heinrich. Calmly he held out his hand and the cup slowed before it reached him, allowing him to snag it calmly out of the air. "Are you sure you don't want anything to drink?" He asked calmly, one eyebrow raised. Ignoring Heinrichs question Vanessa went back to her orginal argument. "If you aren't planning to leave this place then why do you need to know what is going on outside? Why do you need to know how to use your Staff when there is nothing to use it against? It's not as if this place will ever be attacked." "Oh but it has, once at least to my knowledge and I would not be surprised if it were attacked again. There are always those who wish to destroy knowledge that does not agree with thier ideas." Heinrichs face took on a sorrowful look for an instant, before going back to its usual impassivness. "At any rate, I did not say I intended to stay here for the rest of my years, merely until I believe I am needed again." Vanessa opened her mouth to argue her point again, then closed it when she realised she couldn't think of anything to counter his logic. He had beaten her again. "Well at least tell me where I am supposed to stay in this keep." she sighed, giving up for the moment. Heinrich shrugged, his face looking uncaring. I would ask around if I were you, there's bound to be someone to take you in. Failing that you could always ask for permission to build your own place, I'm sure Lizard Man will be pleased to have you so long as you pay." "Lizard Man?" "Wyvern if you prefer. It's all the same." "You could at least show some respect! You've been given space to build your tower, a place to stay and do your work, depressing though it is. All that and you call the person kind enough to supply it 'Lizard Man'. It was exactly the same arrogance that first turned my father against you." Angrily Vanessa rose from her seat and stormed out of the room, her only regret as she left was that there was no door that she was able to slam as she left. Her shoulders slumped when she had left the tower though. She had hoped she would be invited to stay in Heinrichs tower, and that he would have told her more about what he had been doing. She knew he had left things out, and that thought depressed her. Stifling the emotions that threatened to overwhelm her she strolled away from the tower, searching for a place to stay. "I can always sleep in the corner of the courtyard." she muttered under her breath. "Serve Heinrich right if I caught cold and caused him to feel really guilty." Created by Richard and Vanessa. The best work is often done by two people working together, if only we were able to do so more often.

Breks' face took on a slightly disbelieving look as Damon told him not to look so uncertain. His voice radiated the same incredulity as he spoke. "Deamonkin, you are carrying around in your head a being that could not merely kill me as you could but destroy me utterly, if it were to take on a pysical form that is. Right now I am treading the boundries of destruction and you think I should have no worries about what I say or explain?!" His body was shaking as he finished speaking, and he forced himself to take some deep breaths to calm himself. "Do you at least trust me enough to heal you?" He asked once he had got himself back under control. From inside Damons head came a stirring and a warning. "Don't trust it! He'll poison rather than heal you. You've made a bad enough mistake allowing this thing to live, don't compound your folly by allowing it to touch you!"

Brek hesitated at Damons question, his eyes reflecting the fact that he was doing some extremely quick thinking. For the first time since Damon had seen him he looked uncertain. The voice in Damons head stirred with agitation. "I know him." Brek said slowly. "I know his masters, and I know he shouldn't be..." suddenly Damon felt a force slam from his mind and into Brek. The dwarf reeled as the mental blow struck him to the core, and it was only by a supreme effort of will that he managed to stay concious. His voice when he spoke again was weak. "I think I'll avoid explaining furthur" he said, grimacing slightly at Damon. (OOC: short I know but I can't think of anything else to say or do.

Richard scowled irritably over at Vanessa. "Fine, a contest. See if I care. I just hope you find a place in the Pen of your own to stay. Soon." For many years the race of man watched to the east. For many years they endured hardship and pain, As the wind howled and buffeted them and the rain eroded them. But still thier mistress refused to relent, claiming the watch must be kept. For many years she held sway over the race of man, But as year passed after year thier fear of her began to fade. Her orders were questioned, the old tales were forgotten, And the watchers of the east relaxed thier vigil. Still the wind howled into them, weakining and softening them. Still the rain wore at thier skin, 'till it was raw from the elements. In her blindness she failed to see, to realise who sent the elements, And even she began to think herself safe. She became a fool. And then the Walker came again in hidden form. A councillor he bacame even unto she who had stopped him. For at the end of the age the hearts of men rebelled, Her rule was attacked and few of the men remained loyal. Upon her side the Walker stood in hidden guise. With cunning and skill he broke the rebellion. Thus he gained the trust of she who was her enemy. Thus he gained the ear of the ruler of men. He whispered, and she set herself above men where before all were equal. And the hearts of men were angered by her aloofness. He whispered again, and once more she obeyed, sentancing those Who spoke against her to death, and the hearts of men were worn again. He whispered a final time and his words seemed pleasing to her ears. She disbanded the watch to the east convinced the Walker was dead. For the voice of her greatest ally had told her so, And she knew he would never decieve her. Thus was the fate of man tipped out of balance again, Thus the Walker readied himself for battle once more. Thus his armies gathered near the edge of the border, And still she, who now claimed queenship, was blinded by the words of the Walker. Come get some...

Richard breaks out in a cold sweat as he realises how much it's going to cost him to move his tower...Maybe I can raid Lizard Mans room and hope I get lucky Thanks for doing all of this, I hate to imagine what it took.

And lo, the Walker strode forth across the land, wielding sword and staff. He brought forth peace and joy and broke the bonds that tied men to the land. And all people were free of tyranny and depresion. Thus was the First Age begun. Then came a fall of fire and ice. The land burned and water froze while staff and sword were helpless. And the people of the land cried out unto the Walker for aid. But the Walker could do nothing but sit and watch and weep. Thus he was cast down from the high place where men before had stationed him. His staff was shattered and his sword was sundered by the angry masses. With fear and sorrow in his breast he ran from the mob, Ran from the people he had worked so hard to save. Thus began the Second Age. In time, the land and sky returned, and man was once more bound to the soil. Knowledge of the First Age was lost save in legend. Ancient tales spoke of a warrior of good and of peace and of joy, But these fell apart and cast aside as fairy tales. And yet in the east the Walker resided. Though now a different dream ran through his veins. With fire in his blood and ice in yhis eyes new eapons were forged. Weapons that would reforge the land, destroying those who had cast him aside. From darkest pit and highest peak the Walker climbed. Creatures of darkness he gathered about him, Filling them with the anger that burnt within his breast. Powerful they became, mighty in arms, and so his revenge began. Thus began the Third Age. Rending, tearing, clawing, ripping, the beasts ran onward. Creatures of death and decay and terror raced across the grass. At thier head strode the Walker, his laughter shaking the mountains, His sword and staff laying waste to the land that was once precious to him. In fear the people cried out, cried out to the Walker to halt his advance. But no heed was paid to them as they were trampled beneath his feet. "You who have cast me aside, you will feel my wrath!" And with these words of hatred the Walker came on. In the last desperate days the men gathered together. But it was too little, too late. On the final fields of the last shred of green the men of the world made thier stand. And on that field they perished, blood soaking the grass as one by one they fell. Thus came the end of the world. Thus was the Walker both triumphant and ruined, Filled with joy for his anger slaked, And sadness for that part which loved the land still. This was created while I was working at Tescos, it sounded better then than when I write it down.

The dwarf known as Brek shrugged dismissivly at Damons comments. "I am already hunted by at least four others, one more to pit myself against would make no difference. Added to that the fact you are travveling with an elf of all things it seemed a fairly safe bet that you could be trusted not to turn me in, and being killed was a risk I was willing to take." The dwarf looked derisivley at Adglomero and then questioningly at Damon. "Why do you travel with that thing anyway?" The voice in Damons head swelled angrily and it seemed as if it was taking an extreme amount of effort not to do anything against the Brek. "He insults your companions and you still refuse to kill him?" Breks head whipped 'round from studying Damons companions and fixed its gaze on the incubus again. Inside his head the voice seemed to shift uneasily. "So. That's where you have been hiding." Brek said, a trace of amusment in his voice. "Devious even for you. You have no idea how hard your masters are searching for you. Be glad I'm not one of thier pets." Brek said these words aloud and to Damon, but he could tell they were meant for the Voice and not himself.

See the ghost train come a ‘flying See the howls of those still dying. See the tears of sorrow wept. See the look of pain been kept. Smell that which you cannot see. Smell those of fear and those of glee. Smell the dead as the ghost train passes. Smell them as cold wind sweeps the grasses. Hear them call in sudden fear. Hear them cry as the end draws near. Hear their screams as realisation dawns. Hear the ghost train and the storms. Touch the wind as it rushes by, Touch your arms into the sky. Touch the ghosts as they are carried. Touch the souls as they are tarried. Taste the air as it rushes past. Taste the air from first to last. Taste as each soul sinks to the ground again, Taste as the ghost train passes again.

I see the black cloak around him whirling. I see the sharpened scythe of death come hurling. I see the bleached white skull of bone appear. I see the burning eyes of blue draw near. I feel the touch of his fatal blade. I feel the warmth of my life fade. I feel the calling of the grave. I feel the life no more to save. I hear the sound of distant feet. I hear the false cries of folks on the street. I hear the sound of sirens blaring. I hear the hush of people staring. I smell the stench of rotting meat. I smell the damp of rain and sleet. I smell the wind as it passes over. I smell the joy that my life’s over. I taste the earth beneath which I'm dumped. I taste the waste, ‘round which I'm slumped. I taste the final joy I brought. At least my death was not for naught.

It's been tried many times Pere...goes against human nature though doesn't it Thanks for shring your writing Krista