smallscale_mind_games Posted May 22, 2003 Report Share Posted May 22, 2003 Author's Note: This popped into my head, and it makes no sense whatever. Excuse my current...um...what'stheword...out-of-it-ness, but I took cough medicine with codeine in it, and codein being a narcotic, made me sleepy, silly, and didn't help my cough at all. Pity me. Have a dose of incoherency I can hardly take your mediocrity Just a bit too high above sincerity Down below here is the place to be I'm not quite getting your theology Away from here it's colder And everybody's growing older Colour it a little bolder Give authority the cold shoulder Take my life and eat the meaning Plenty left for the gleaning The corners of my mind need cleaning As on my shoulder you are leaning As I leave you my estate My love you can't appreciate I'm much too tired to hesitate Give me something to alleviate My mistakes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autumn_sun Posted May 22, 2003 Report Share Posted May 22, 2003 (edited) MERRY-CHAN! =laughs= mmm...groovy. I rather like it, but that doesn't really matter since I'm high off sudaffed currently. I can't even SPELL sudafed. Edited July 26, 2003 by autumn_sun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tattered Posted May 23, 2003 Report Share Posted May 23, 2003 Wow! Well I would quote to you my favorite line, however there wasn't a line that I didn't appreciate! "Have a dose of incoherency" "Give authority the cold shoulder""Take my life and eat the meaning"Give me something to alleviate My mistakes" I quite enjoy your um..."out-of-it-ness" Thank you. I just read it again....That really can take you on so many levels. YOu muStBe HigHhhh. laughs. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayshela Posted May 23, 2003 Report Share Posted May 23, 2003 or "just a bit too high above sincerity" there's a lot to appreciate in this. amazing how sometimes getting the conscious controls out of the way leaves you able to cut to the core. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salinye Posted May 24, 2003 Report Share Posted May 24, 2003 Fun how a rhyming exercise could lead to such a piece filled with many deep meaningful lines. You could almost center a piece around the meaning behind each line. :0) Great brainstorming! (or out of brain storming lol) ~Salinye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damon Inferel Posted May 24, 2003 Report Share Posted May 24, 2003 Meow... you write good poetry Merry. It's all symbolic and not right-to-the-point like mine always is, but wants to be like yours... Meow... *radiates envy and gamma radiation and turns green and starts breaking things* Not the hulk... less bulk. *cute smile like the one that made me look like a girl in my I.D. Card* I really liked this. I think I love this poem... like all of lynne's. I just can never think of what to say to her without being really... not-mke sense-ish. I'm not good at talking to her... regretfully. I'm working on it though! >< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troubled sleep Posted July 26, 2003 Report Share Posted July 26, 2003 Haha!! I finally found this poem! I read it once quite a bit ago and have been looking for it ever since so that I could tell you how much I liked it. And while you may think that it makes no sense...it makes a world of sense to me...hmmm, I'll have to show it to the locals once schools starts again...but as I said, I really do like this poem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhapsody Posted July 28, 2003 Report Share Posted July 28, 2003 Oi! Cool title, first of all. I love your rhyming. And the brevity of your lines. Like flashes of imagery. I really liked this line: "Take my life and eat the meaning" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoaringIcarus Posted August 1, 2003 Report Share Posted August 1, 2003 Hello. I do enjoy the form of this and the choice of rhyme. Though I'm not as well-versed in rap as, say, Wyvern, for some reason this reminds me of certain rap. This can be a bit cryptic, but overall, good, for being druged up! I always encourage writing/creating while sick or in different states of mind-- sometimes you can get some great stuff, when you least suspect it. Write on. -Icarus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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