jonathan_wolfe Posted May 7, 2003 Report Share Posted May 7, 2003 String of vitae, ever winding cord cut regrowth, never was cut only hid from the blade... Where did it go? Silence, or boredom, which I don't know I see the sunlight, the sky... oh how everyone can see the sky why can't only I see it? The way things are. Never hopeless, and hopeless. Fire and Ice, what ever happened to water and oil? even water and oil don't mix. Mercury, stars are rising, sunrise. I think too much, hearing the songs of magic in my ears Forget all that. There is a reason but I cannot remember anymore It's faded. I dream. I see those wings again... It's lost. No, only changed. Gregorian chants Ever mulling and rising, paragon of hope and virtue. and I rise to meet it. Now I feel at peace, my heart has mended... let me slip into the darkness, the... This can't be happening... where.. I... Impossible, this was the end? No, it's beginning again Down and down down down down pain sorrow hate evil darkness white. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tasslehoff Posted May 8, 2003 Report Share Posted May 8, 2003 Mr Wolfe, A Very good poem indeed. Its written is what seems like a very un-orthodox way, but I think that makes it so much better. I especially like the verse about fire and ice.. Very well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gyrfalcon Posted May 8, 2003 Report Share Posted May 8, 2003 Good work Jonathan! I'll note that while individually, I liked each stanza, they didn't really flow for me... it seemed more like an assemblage of ideas that can each be developed into a poem. Otherwise, excellent work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salinye Posted May 8, 2003 Report Share Posted May 8, 2003 I really like the words and thought processes behind this. I know the form you chose was artistic and speaks volumes to you. I appreciate the uniqueness. I must echo GyrE in that it didn't completely flow off the lips. However, I think you've got the beginnings of something GREAT here. :0) Thank you so much for sharing! ~Salinye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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