Nyyark Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 Since time stopped Stopped and stopped Slowed to gray Again Since time stopped again The world turned gray. To have tried Tried and tried Telling Secrets To have tried telling All of my Secrets And atone Atone and atone At no fault Of mine And atone fault Not my own I tried to not tell Lies anymore But I hate myself For your doings So finally My world stopped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigil StarGazer Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 Sigh Nyyark... looks like we need to chat again sometimes. Good poety thou, the form is simple and elogant repetition of words reinforces the idea well enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Silverblade Posted May 1, 2003 Report Share Posted May 1, 2003 I get a kind of eerie feeling from this one, Nyyark. It's a good poem - I can hear it read with a voice void of emotion - and the words & form seem to be conveying that very well (though I won't pretend to understand the poem - I just tend to let things sink in whether I understand them or not. ). It is a very powerful poem. Thank you for sharing - though I'm sorry for whatever brought it up (I know you said it wasn't about you, but poems usually come with feelings or something from life). You're a good poet, I hope you continue to post. - Justin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlad Posted May 1, 2003 Report Share Posted May 1, 2003 This is good, if slightly disturbing. I found the repetition of words powerful, but I'm missing the ovarall meaning. Will read it again when I'm more awake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salinye Posted May 2, 2003 Report Share Posted May 2, 2003 I really felt like this poem had a lot of power and emotion behind it. Like the others, the overall point is vague, but sometimes I think that's good because it causes people to ponder it longer. Let it linger in their minds. Thank you for sharing, ~Salinye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanz Posted May 3, 2003 Report Share Posted May 3, 2003 I too think this is an incredibly strong and powerful poem! Well done- I like the vagueness, it makes you think about it over and over again, trying to figure it out~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reverie Posted May 3, 2003 Report Share Posted May 3, 2003 nice spiral slip effect you got going there nyyrak... take a bow... revery the dreamlost "getting crazy with the cheeze-whiz" (beck!) the dream continues... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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