Application Ex Machina

[Ethics Gradient]

The office of the Elder of Initiates is quiet, thick bundles of disarrayed papers and scribbled notes covering every available surface under a thin layer of dust. The only things moving are a few dust motes floating in the air where the sunlight shines in through the window.

 

Then the silence is suddenly broken by someone knocking on the door. To someone in the room, the knocking would have a distinctly impatient sound. Of course, noone is there to hear it - the Elder of Initiates is a very busy man.

 

In the corridor outside, Ethics listens in vain for any sounds from within. With a sigh, he reads the note on the door again. 'Back in 5 - Wyv.'

 

'Five what?' he thinks to himself. Not minutes, as he had first assumed, that is painfully clear by now. Nor hours, or even days. He fondly remembers when he thought it might mean mere days.

 

The time since then has been busy, his days taken up by ever-changing schemes to get inside that door to hand in his application, each one discarded for one reason or another. Most often because they were really good ideas, they just wouldn't work. Like that steam-powered battering ram that had looked so promising at first, yet proved so disastrous in the end. With a shudder, he touches his eyebrows carefully. Yes, they are definitely beginning to grow back now.

 

Looking down at the heavy package containing his application, he hopes for the eleventysecond time that his plan will work. Discovering that section of the rules describing the procedures for accepting or rejecting applications to the Pen had been a stroke of pure luck. 'Before rejecting any application, the Elder of Initiates is required to carefully read it in its entirety at least twice.'

 

Well, three thousand pages of nothing but 'Please accept my application' should do the trick. If not, just the value of the heavy golden box containing those three thousand pages should be enough to persuade the almost-dragon. Alchemy does have its uses.

 

Realising the futility of waiting around any longer in the hope that Wyvern will return, he turns around and heads for outside, and his final attempt to deliver his application. It's going to work this time. It has to!

 

After carefully loading the catapult and cranking back its throwing arm, he meticulously aligns it with the right window before pulling the release lever, and watches the application soar rather gracefully through the air, before it crashes through the window of Wyvern's office.

 

Success at last!

[Kasmandre]

Kasmandre stares for a moment at Ethics' application effort.

 

"Now why the hell didn't I think of that!"

 

ooc:I like! I like lots!!

[Brute]

As Ethics stands admiring his aim, Brute strolls up beside him while popping booze-flavored gummis into his mouth. "Well, hullo there stranger!" he says to the new applicant with a grin. Brute looks from Ethics to the catapult, then his dark eyes trail upwards to the broken window. "Nice shot," Brute says as he thumbs another gummi into his mouth. Brute looks back to Ethics and winks an ebony eye. "I suppose O Scaly One will be along soon. Half of the town probably saw that golden box fly through the air towards his study. If Wyvern didn't actually see it himself, he'll definately hear rumors about it, I'm sure. Good luck with the application, my determined friend."

 

With that, Brute pops the last gummi into his mouth and opens a flask of booze to wash them down with. The tall mage lumbers off to a nearby tavern to drink a bit and to spread a few rumors.

[Wyvern]

As Ethics Gradient had been calculating the perfect angle to fire his golden box of applications from his catapult, Wyvern had exhaustedly entered into the Recruiter's office... The greedy Elder had been gambling with the 7 Elder dwarves during his absence, and as usual had ended up rather broke as a result. Looking towards the sunny sky outside his office window and contemplating the size of his debt, the overgrown lizard exclaims to noone in particular:

 

"If there is a celestial deity of greed, let him cause it to rain gold from the skies!"

 

After waiting for a few minutes and seeing no gold rain, Wyvern shrugs and turns his back to the window, satisfied with his original assumption that there was no deity looking after those who were greedy at heart. No sooner has the overgrown lizard turned his back to the window, however, than Ethics Gradient's gold box comes soaring through it, hitting Wyvern directly on the back of his head and knocking him down... The almost-dragon topples over as the three thousand pages of application contained within the box are scattered across the office floor...

 

Rubbing his aching head while gradually regaining his composure, Wyvern lifts himself to his feet only to notice that the blunt object that had come flying through the window was a gold box... The overgrown lizard's jaw drops open as he examines the box with a magnifying spectacle (which he always keeps in handy for situations like these) and notes that the box is made of very precious material indeed. The almost-dragon's eyes practically bulge out of their sockets when he notices all of the sheets of paper scattered about the floor, each of which reads "Please accept my application."

 

Stuttering to himself and running around in nervous circles, the overgrown lizard is about to let out a terrified scream when Melba suddenly enters into the office. The almost-secretary is immediatly struck by a not-so-almost-headache as she notices the mess that has once again become of the office, with papers strewn across the floor and yet another broken window... As she rubs her temple with her left hand, Wyvern points to the mess and exclaims:

 

"Melba... we have to clean this stuff up as soon as possible!"

 

Melba raises a brow gloomily, not used to hearing Wyvern speak of cleaning things himself, even partially... Wyvern frantically points to mess again and cries:

 

"I asked the celestial deity of greed to rain gold from the skies, and it seems he did... b-b-b-but along with the gold he sent an enormous application to the Mighty Pen. We can't have a deity of greed join the Mighty Pen! I'll be ruined!!!"

 

Melba sighs and begins sweeping up the glass from the broken window, not believing a word of the insanity the Elder exclaims...

 

"I have to quickly gather these papers from the floor!" exclaims Wyvern frantically. "Come to think of it, I don't know which order they're supposed to go in! What if the deity arranged them in a specific sort of order and I accidentaly rearrange them?! He'll punish me by stealing geld!! Arrrgh!!!"

 

The overgrown lizard's nervous breakdown is swiftly interrupted as Ethics Gradient enters into the office, asking Wyvern if he recieved his gold box and three thousand page application. The almost-dragonic Elder stands in shock for a moment, and then is immediatly overcome by relief... Calmly gesturing to Ethics Gradient, Wyvern nods and asks if he could help in stamping all of the pages ACCEPTED... There were quite a few pages to stamp, after all...

 

OOC: An ACCEPTED application Ethics, welcome to the mighty Pen! I'll send you some additional Pen info ASAP.