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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Death of a Whisper


Tralla

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"Death of a Whisper"

 

Whisper.

 

Anxious voices

Tittered fright

Skirting shadows

Restless night

 

Whimper.

 

Darkened corner

Bolted room

Beacon snuffed

Herald doom

 

Scream.

 

Viper reflex

Pounding knells

Fading daze

Regret swells

 

Whisper.

 

Now I lay me down to sleep

I pray the Lord my soul to keep

And if I die before I wake

And if I die before I wake

And if I

 

 

- Tralla

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Guest Foe Calibur

Very well done...

 

Foe smiles

 

I love the ending... very dramatic.

 

Too true Peredhil, the monsters, though never there, always found a way to be present, when the presence of others was all but nigh.

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I know this sounds very cliche', but your poem feels very much like work by T.S. Eliot.

 

Very "Hollowmen-esque".

 

I think that might have been the effect you were going for. (Though if I've guessed wrong, my apologies).

 

The poem is excellant, and very emotionally charged. You pack many fears into few words. I saw my entire childhood pass before my eyes...

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It's interesting that you all mention childhood, because I didn't even think of it. Childhood is kind of like a beginning to me, but this seemed more directed at an end, whether it be in adolescence, adulthood, or old age.

 

LoL and a good eye on the Hollow Men... it's one of the poems I'd read lately, so it probably did influence it, a little.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Peredhil frowns as he reads the too-well written poem, but laughs as he sees agreement to the post he's yet to write.

 

I suppose it's because of the confessions I've been hearing, and the support I've tried to lend,

 

but this reminds me of a child caught in an abusive trap.

 

The abuser too often expresses regret - after the fact and in retreat, while too often the child can't get past the short-sighted (hopeful?) escape implicit in the first part of the refrain,

 

If I die before I wake...

 

Some wounds take years to scar, if ever they do.

 

-Peredhil (who sometimes tries to be strong so the weak can find strength, but knows his limitations as a counselor.)

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