Gyrfalcon Posted January 12, 2002 Report Share Posted January 12, 2002 I pray you find the man that makes your heart sing I pray you find the love that heals your clipped wings. And I wish he were me. I hope you find a love who's bright rays makes your smile bloom like a rose and brings the sparkle, the light of a million stars, to your beautiful eyes. I wish for him to compliment you, and bring a blush like the sunset to your white cheeks I yearn that you feel his touch, goose-down soft against your skin, and shiver because its him who is gently stroking your cheek, your love, the man of your life. And I wish he were me. But its your choice, your decision, one of a constellation, a fish in the sea with bigger catches that are better suited by your words, to what you want, need, wish, desire, love. And I accept, and we turn in the endless dance of life and I will love him like a brother, if he brings a sparkle to your eyes, and a blossom to your cheeks and if he makes you smile, I will be happy that you found love, your heart's fulfillment, my dearest friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted January 19, 2002 Report Share Posted January 19, 2002 Very interesting. Rather then simple attraction, true love is expressed through the poem as the narrator longs for the affection of his friend, but wishes principly for her well-being. Several images also play a role in conveying the theme of the poem, particularly a cluster concerned with natural beauty. "bloom", "sparkle", "blossom", etc. There is antithesis between this cluster and another cluster that deals with images of paleness and fear: "clipped wings", "white cheeks", "goose-down", "shiver", etc. This antithesis between image clusters may be hinting at the antithesis of the narrators feelings, as he longs for his friends affection but wants her well-being and happiness above all. Well done. [image]http://www.legion-whiterose.com/signatures/aoa/wyv.gif[/image] ------------------------------ Almost a Dragon... "My life is one big crime, I try to scheme through it." -Common, "The 6th Sense" Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tralla Posted January 22, 2002 Report Share Posted January 22, 2002 Although this seems somewhat small and simple after what Wyvern just wrote... I really like this. The words seem very powerful to me, and the speaker's warring emotions are almost tangible. Very well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted February 6, 2002 Report Share Posted February 6, 2002 True love doesn't require an ego affirmation or response. It's an outpouring such as you captured. The pain is all there - as is the hard to capture mature response. Some of us take years to learn this wisdom. So very well done. I agree (again, and I'm finding, often) with Tralla. I really like this. If that isn't my first response, heartfelt, I usually don't bother to figure out why the poem provoked a response at all. -Peredhil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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