Harmonious_Echos Posted October 23, 2012 Report Share Posted October 23, 2012 JoyFall It starts with a whisper of comfort a hint of warmth a hint of rosy color a surge of an active peace painting just a touch of life into an age old picture then, listening a faint jingling of chimes and bells a silvery, heraldic ringing in my mind; building up, not chaotically, as disorganised and beautiful as an ocean's swell then Splash! my eyes are opened to catch a brilliant flash of beauty, out of the ordinary day, suddenly the diamond fractal shines true; again, and again, there, there! I catch my breath as the miracle of creation presents itself to me. The music within a thundering symphony bringing tears of humility and awe; Then fades again to the soft ringing of the bells the scent of a loving mother's embrace sweet sunshine on the dew yes, this, this is Joy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted October 27, 2012 Report Share Posted October 27, 2012 evocative and lyrical. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reverie Posted November 23, 2012 Report Share Posted November 23, 2012 Forgive me, I wasn't sure what you poem was trying to get at i.e. what particular joyful event you were trying to showcase. So, I took some liberties and edited with an a eye towards creating a swell crescendo thing (thin beginning, bigger at end). Ending is good, only I tweaked it slightly to add more swell. It starts with a whisper, a hint of warmth, a surge of peace, painting just a touch of life into an old picture. Listening, a faint jangle of chimes, a silvery, heraldic ringing; building up -- not chaotically -- rhythmic, as disorganized and beautiful as an ocean's swell, then Splash! My eyes are opened to catch a brilliant flash of day -- beautiful, sudden -- the diamond fractal shines true; again, and again, there, there! I catch my breath as the miracle of creation presents itself to me. The music within a thundering symphony bringing tears of humility and awe; Then fades again and again to the soft ringing of the bells the scent of a love, a mother's embrace, the sweet sunshine on the dew yes, this,this is joy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harmonious_Echos Posted November 26, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 26, 2012 The poem was meant to catch an emotion--not an event--so it's much harder to discribe! The general idea was that it starts small, but is no less and no more throughout; just a stronger feeling which is just as pure & happy. Like I said, difficult. thanks for the input though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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