Jump to content
The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

KICK-@SS!!!


Snypiuer

Recommended Posts

Snypiuer: I've watched all the trailers for Kick-@ss (If it's the name of the movie, should it be censored? :hmm: ) and I HAVE to say that I have fallen head-over-heels, wildly, madly and HOPELESSLY in complete, UTTER LOVE with Hit-Girl!

 

You: DUDE! What is WRONG with you?!

 

Snypiuer: Huh? What?

 

You: She's ELEVEN years old you PERV!

 

Snypiuer: Ahhh. . . WHAT!? I don't. . .

 

You: You're old enough to be her father. HECK! You're almost old enough to be her GRANDfather!

 

Snypiuer: (Stands silently, with a look of TOTAL confusion on his face)

 

You: You're sick! Actually, I'm relatively certain I am now LEGALLY obligated to report you to the Authorities!

 

 

 

Snypiuer stares at you with wide eyes and mouth hanging open when, suddenly, an object drops from the ceiling right above him!

 

It is the Legendary, NAY! the no-less-then MYTHICAL, Turtle of Realization (who had been making his way across the ceiling the entire time)! As he falls upon Snypiuer, he swings his giant bat in a mighty downward arc and SHMACK!!! Snypiuers' arms fly out to his sides as if he is reaching for some sort of support and his head appears to ACTUALLY enter his chest cavity - just a little, tiny bit.

 

 

You: WHAT THE?!?!

 

Snypiuer: (Staggers around)

 

Turtle: (Composes himself, puts his bat away and slowly makes his way out of the room)

 

You: WAS THAT A FRIKIN' TURTLE?!?! WITH A BAT?! Where did it come from?!

 

Snypiuer: (Realizing WHY You think he's a Perv, straightens himself out) Now I understand!

 

You: Huh? What?

 

Snypiuer: What I MEANT was, I'm in love with the CONCEPT of the CHARACTER Hit-Girl!

 

You: Ooohhh!!!

 

Snypiuer: Yeah, the character is just frikin' cool! Sure, the actress that plays her is cute, but she IS a child! Now, if I was her age. . .

 

You: (Worried look returns to your face)

 

Turtle: (Just outside the door, hesitates and begins to turn back around. . .)

 

Snypiuer: (Thoughtfully) Actually, when I WAS her age, I was COMPLETELY clueless and was too big of a goof to even know what to IMAGINE what I would do.

 

Turtle: (With a small smile, shakes his head and leaves)

 

Snypiuer: ANYWAYS, have you SEEN all the trailers? Hit-Girl ROCKS! It just BITES that I won't have any chance to see it 'till the first week of May!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...