Ozymandias Posted October 20, 2009 Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 Counting one by one by one by one by one It tells me one by one by one by one by one by one As we go out into the planetary systems there are always gases that expand Aliens are laughing as we turn about the neighbors But it really doesn't really matter we explore as we're holding hands It tells me one one by one by one by one by one Counting one by one by one by one by one... The shine, the burn, the emptiness, superhot volcanic glass increases pressure as we land The ground it looks up quizically The sky will always wait and see what wonders are awaiting in the sand Counting one by one by one by one by one It tells me one by one by one by one by one by one... Time it stops stops indef'nitely as the future flies by gracefully empires and rhinos find their end We're in the sky, come dance with me as rocks and waters wave a parting hand And they fall one by one by one by one by one by one by one It tells me one by one by one by one by one by one by one... And we dance, one and one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 Nice poem, Ozymandias. :-) The random strings of intergalactic and fantastical imagery felt like something out of a crazed pipe dream and were a little bizarre at points (empires and rhinos?), but I really liked the themes of unity and friendship that you strung throughout it. These elements grounded all the weird directions that the imagery took quite a bit, and I liked the way you switched the "one by one" refrain to "one and one" at the end. Definitely feltl a certain hippie kind of vibe in all the personifications of nature and peaceful messages re-reading it. Cool stuff Ozy... thanks for sharing it here, as always. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Preprise Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 I enjoyed this poem more than I enjoy french fries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted November 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2009 The random strings of intergalactic and fantastical imagery felt like something out of a crazed pipe dream Is it wrong that this makes me proud? (incidentally, it was supposed to be bizarre, so I'm glad to hear that) Thank you both! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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