Elemental

[jonadine]

I thought the tears had all dried up,the oceans I cried for you serene and still, dark-deep and blue-green,the schools of memoriesplaying in coral reefs of the past.I thought that wind had died down,tornados gone out of season, whirlwinds nowbecome gentle breezesthat would occasionally ruffle my hair.I was sure those earthquakes were over,all the buildings swallowed up and ruined, no structures remaining,the occasional tremor; a harmless rattle,nothing left for it to destroy.

 

A deceptive riptide pulled me, floundering, out to sea,

 

the thunder shuddered, and shook the sky,

 

Monsoon boiled behind brimming eyes,

 

and I was blistered by that lightning,

 

 

it burns me now this force of nature,Hurricane screams tear at my throat,

That maelstrom stripped me to bare bones

seething beneath mountains of furymy magma heart consumes me.

Edited January 4, 2013 by Jomeansme

[Peredhil]

Well done, drawing all the elements together for the gran finale.

[jonadine]

Well done, drawing all the elements together for the gran finale.

Thanks, I appreciate your comments and your help.

 

I like this one, I think it is tied up nicely by the final stanza and gives the feeling I meant it to.

[jonadine]

Added a transitional stanza between the last and the one prior. I think it needed it, but Im not sure it makes it better.