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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

jonadine

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Everything posted by jonadine

  1. I have fallen in love with my own broken heart, I hoard my hurts, all pot shards and broken glass, Closer than my own skin. I know it's not you that makes me feel disposable, discarded, unwanted, unloved, Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not smart enough, NEVER ENOUGH.... It is rather the sharpened claws of my own self image. They puncture me, and leave holes that bleed perspective, Respawning habits of thought that that fit like Your favorite old jeans. I hate them, with a strengthening hate. They stick to me in hot taffy strings I try to pluck off with unbuttered hands, more tangled with each fumbling effort. Faceless, faithless lovers, they are all that I reject They are in my head, in my bed, filling the air with the warm musky scent of my own bad decisions. I can almost see them sometimes, those fears and insecurities, bursting from me like I am Pandora's box, swarming me like angry wasps. Then I'm a dwelling, a hive of utter bullshit, I can hear the buzzing of all that useless baggage, Seething with every never and always I've ever thought. I'm tired of swimming in wet concrete, Trying to breathe underwater, Frustrated, exhausted. I try to walk on fractured limbs Splintered bones grind through my flesh, but I will get there. Just you watch. I will be free, someday. The holes left Spackled shut, some paved over, Some filled in with loam and growing new life. Right now they torment me, but I see the future, And I will win this battle, have already won, It just remains to stamp them out. I put my insecurities in the killing jar, pluck off their wings Watch them squirm their innards out and I'll do it every day til they are gone.
  2. I have fallen in love with my own broken heart, I hoard my hurts, all pot shards and broken glass, Closer than my own skin They cut me, and leave holes that bleed perspective, Wearing grooves of bad habits that that fit like Your favorite old jeans. I hate them, with a strengthening hate. They stick to me in hot taffy strings I try to pluck off with unbuttered hands, and they burn like napalm. Faceless, faithless lovers, they are all that I reject They are in my head, in my bed, warm musky scent of my own bad decisions. I'm tired of swimming in wet concrete, Trying to breathe underwater, Frustrated, exhausted. I try to walk on fractured limbs Splintered bones grind through my flesh, but I will get there. Just you watch. I will be free, someday. The holes left Spackled shut, some paved over, Some filled in with loam and growing new life. Right now they torment me, but I see the future, And I will win this battle, have already won, It just remains to stamp them out. I put my insecurities in the killing jar, pluck off their wings Watch them squirm their innards out and I'll do it every day til they are gone.
  3. I have fallen in love with my own broken heart, I hoard my hurts, all pot shards and broken glass, Closer than my own skin I hate them, with a lengthening hate. They stick to me in hot taffy strings I try to pluck off with unbuttered hands, I'm tired of swimming in wet concrete, Trying to breathe underwater, Frustrated, exhausted. I try to walk on fractured limbs Splintered bones grind through my flesh, but I will get there. Just you watch. Faceless, faithless lovers, they are all that I reject They are in my head, in my bed, warm musky scent of my own bad decisions. I will be free, someday. The holes they left Spackled shut, some paved over, Some filled in with loam and growing new life. I put them all in the killing jar, pluck off their wings Watch them squirm their innards out and I'll do it every day until they are gone.
  4. jonadine

    Photograhs

    Congratulations! We are pleased to accept for publication your manuscript , M13-2535, "Photographs." I found your poem incredibly moving, shockingly good, and professionally crafted. You have a great talent, and it shows with this piece. Thank you so much for sending it our way Jomeansme: squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
  5. jonadine

    Photograhs

    Freckled grin incandescent, snub-nosed, kewpie cute, it overflowed you and swept us all with it, especially me. Your joy tides left their mark on me Like seaweed limned flotsam on the beach. I hear my heart clapping the game of our childhood Miss Merry Mack-ing our way to adolescence. I knew you, pigtails to sandcastles, and your moods were subtle and irresistible as gravity. Glossed with normal-flavored "artistic temperament", graceful, natural dancer that you were, poet, snake charmer, stubborn as a steel post, Your intensity was magical, genius, and I was your acolyte. The day they came hangs over me like a pall, sometimes. Its a jumble mostly, clone-pairs of emergency workers, Wielding clipboards like shields, asking reasonable, purposeful, meaningless questions. Absurdly, I remember that in each pair, one had a mustache, and each not-twin asked me the same things about allergies, medical problems and were there any drugs in the house. There is a moment, razored from that day, a photo that lives in my head: When you were tongue twisting the shape of insanity Jaws unhinged like a snake, giving birth to a joke so huge, I splattered against it like slung mud. Memory after that is narrow and dark. They rolled you out naked as a shell-less snail And gave me small jobs to do Packing up clothes, and shoes and toothbrushes, Then, your sanity hung by a thread, scattered and distracted, Like the prisms you kept in your window. You looked right at me, and you said you had to do this alone And, primary colors flashing, you were gone
  6. jonadine

    Photograhs

    Freckled grin incandescent, snub-nosed, kewpie cute, it overflowed you and swept us all with it, especially me. Your joy tides left their mark on me Like seaweed limned flotsam on the beach. I hear my heart clapping the game of our childhood Miss Merry Mack-ing our way to adolescence, I knew you, pigtails to sandcastles, and your moods were subtle and irresistible as gravity. Glossed with normal-flavored "artistic temperament" graceful, natural dancer that you were, poet, snake charmer, stubborn as a steel post Your intensity was magical, genius, and I was your acolyte The day they came hangs over me like a pall, sometimes Its a jumble mostly, clone pairs of emergency workers, Wielding clipboards like shields, asking reasonable, purposeful, meaningless questions. Absurdly, I remember that in each pair, one had a mustache, and each not-twin asked me the same things about allergies, medical problems and were there any drugs in the house. There is a moment, razored from that day, a photo that lives in my head When you were tongue twisting the shape of insanity Jaws unhinged like a snake, giving birth to a joke so huge, I splattered against it like slung mud. Memory after that is narrow and dark, They rolled you out naked as a shell-less snail, And gave me small jobs to do Packing up clothes, and shoes and toothbrushes, And suddenly, your sanity hung by a thread scattered and distracted like the prisms you kept in your window And you told me you had to do this alone And primary colors flashing, you were gone
  7. jonadine

    Photograhs

    Freckled grin incandescent, snub-nosed, kewpie cute it overflowed you and swept us all with you, especially me Your joy tides left their mark on me Like the seaweed limned flotsam at the beach I hear my heart clapping the game of our childhood Miss Merry Mack-ing our way to adolescence Your moods were legendary Subtle and irresistible as gravity Glossed over with the normal-flavored artistic temperament graceful natural dancer that you were, poet, snake charmer, stubborn as a steel post Your intensity was magical, genius, and I was your acolyte The day they came hangs over me like a pall, sometimes Its a jumble mostly, clone pairs of emergency workers, Wielding clipboards like shields, asking reasonable, purposeful, meaningless questions. Absurdly, I remember that in each pair, one had a mustache, and each not-twin asked me the same things about allergies, medical problems and were there any drugs in the house. There is a moment though, that lives in my head like a photo, When you were tongue twisting the shape of insanity Jaws unhinged like a snake, giving birth to a joke so huge, I splattered against it like slung mud. Memory after that is narrow and dark, They rolled you out naked as a shell-less snail, And gave me small jobs to do Packing up clothes, and shoes and toothbrushes, And suddenly, your sanity hung by a thread scattered and distracted like the prisms you kept in your window And you told me you had to do this alone And primary colors flashing, you were gone.
  8. jonadine

    Elemental

    Added a transitional stanza between the last and the one prior. I think it needed it, but Im not sure it makes it better.
  9. jonadine

    Immolation

    Last one. Think Im about ready to start working on a book. Anybody know of any resources to help with publishing poetry? I have a boatload of artwork to go with it.
  10. Ok edited and shortened, I think its pretty good.
  11. I know the ending is sort of jarring, but I kind of like it.
  12. Not sure what fo do with this one. Any suggestions?
  13. jonadine

    Dreams

    Done. At least until the next time I go on an editing rampage.
  14. jonadine

    My Words

    I think this one is done.
  15. This poem is about depression and contemplating suicide. It was intended to be a cipher, however I am going to rewrite it at some point to be cleaner and clearer. The first five stanzas are introducing the paralyzing nature of depression, how it feels like doing anything is too hard, like swimming in concrete. the next two are the fear and guilt associated with planning your own death, knowing how your family would feel, The next five deal with the certainty that death is the only way out, that the situation is too intolerable to live with, and the concurrent fearlessness in the face of death since its a relief from the pain of living. The last stanza is the kicker, an attempt, albeit clumsy, to negate the contemplation of suicide as an option.
  16. jonadine

    Poisoned

    Just about done... I think Mixed Metaphor SSSSSSSSlick like a viper, Fanged thoughts sink under skin, Laying carnivorous eggs, Like a spider wasp. Leaving slimy slug trails, The wriggling larvae, Pupate into venomous steam. I can hear it, The shrill wailing teakettle shriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeek Of pressure-cooked shouts, packed in lies, crammed full and SLAMmed shut like my suitcase when I left you. Blame bubbles up from oily depths, collecting in corners, Like the shriveled char In a deep fryer. The carbonized residue crackling and shifting Like embers after a house fire, The walls falling in, Love dissipating in the smoke That coats everything in a black rime That burns eyes, and stains lungs And I eat that pain like potato chips made of poison.
  17. jonadine

    Poisoned

    SSSSSSSSlick like a viper, Fanged thoughts sink under skin, Laying carnivorous eggs, Like a spider wasp. Leaving slimy slug trails, The wriggling larvae, Pupate into venomous steam. I can hear it, The shrill wailing teakettle shriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeek Of pressure-cooked shouts, packed in lies, crammed full and SLAMmed shut like my suitcase when I left you. It bubbles up from oily depths, Blame collecting in corners, Like the shriveled char In a deep fryer. The carbonized residue crackling and shifting Like embers after a house fire, The walls falling in, Memories dissipating like smoke That burns eyes, and stains lungs with a black rime that sticks to everything And I eat that pain Like potato chips, and it tastes like poison.
  18. You suck. she said, like its your fate it pops my ears, the sucks so great. You suck like you heard sucking's cool Like you learned how in sucking school, If there were a sucking test, No question, you would be the best, Or if it were a sucking race You'd win the prize and be first place. You suck all day and suck all night 'til babies weep and crops get blight, You would suck if it were noon, you still suck out on the moon. You suck forever and an hour, You suck 'til it's your superpower. You suck, she said, like I'm a girl, You suck so much it makes me hurl. You suck the birds and suck the bees and suck the leaves right off the trees You suck the clouds across the sky and suck the whole damn ocean dry You suck in cars and suck in trucks I cant believe how much you suck. You suck in Noah and the Ark the Empire State and Fenway Park. You suck until your face turns blue, and suck until your dog sucks too. I feel, she said, that sucks so big that it will snap you like a twig, You'll break in two and then therefore after that you'll suck some more, You suck for real and that's no lie You suck so much that you might die, You'd suck if sucking didn’t exist You suck so hard I made a list. You have reached your sucking goal, and now resemble a black hole You've sucked so much, gained so much mass, you'll have to blow it out your &$$.
  19. jonadine

    Poisoned

    SSSSSSSSlick like a viper, Fanged thoughts sink under skin, Laying carnivorous eggs, Like a spider wasp. Leaving slimy slug trails, The wriggling larvae, Pupate into venomous steam. I can hear it, The shrill wailing teakettle shriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeek Of pressure cooked lies. They bubble up from oily depths, Collecting in corners, Like the shriveled char In a deep fryer. The crackling carbonized residue Taints the whole And I eat that pain Like potato chips Till all that comes of creativity Is poison
  20. Weirdly, I have found that doggerel like this is much harder to write than some of my other stuff. I end up editing for flow, like, a million times.
  21. "I think its time to talk about some things you're doing, Ned, what is going on with you?" She waited. "Brains." He said. "You never change your clothing its always full of stains, Why cant you do some laundry?" Came the answer..."Brains." "You don't wash the dishes or do yard work anymore Can you tell me what is happening?" "Brains!" he swore. "You lost your job, you never sleep and all your friends complain that you never call or visit them. What gives? Please explain." "And one more thing I'd like to say about last night in bed, you bit me way to hard and now I'm....Brains." She said
  22. isnt ready for prime time.

  23. Falling in love With a broken heart Trying to breathe underwater I am swimming In wet concrete Walking on fractured limbs Splintered bones grinding through skin Awakening sweat-slick And frozen Guilt shuddering through me Approaching the ending of possibility Unafraid With an implacable mien Quietly considering The primal scream Silence and sleep Await me I am determined to seek peace this is only theoretically possible
  24. A Petri dish of emotion, I fester and bubble, anyone crosses me, they will find trouble
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