Mardrax Posted October 9, 2007 Report Share Posted October 9, 2007 Why do I do it? Pick up the torchbearer that she may light herself burning will she light my way? Why do I do it? Offer my hand to the fallen down will they drag me? Drag or be dragged Burning or alight Open the door or be left alone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted October 9, 2007 Report Share Posted October 9, 2007 Because helping a light bringer is always worth the cost? Nice one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted October 13, 2007 Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 I like this poem, Mardrax. :-) It reflects upon an interesting and personal topic with some nice visual touches. The torch metaphor was nicely incorporated, particularly with the choice between "Burning or alight" in the final stanza, which demonstrated some good word choice. The way that the final stanza is structured around choices is also well done, and brings the poem to a strong close. One question: in the first stanza, is the way that the narrator contemplates picking up the "torchbearer" intentional, or is that meant to read "torch" there? I like the thought of the narrator picking up the torchbearer as it's an original image, but the line following it seems to suggest that "torch" might have been intended. Nice stuff, Mardrax. Thanks for sharing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mardrax Posted October 14, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 14, 2007 It's completely intentional. When the torchbearer is borne, her purpose is defeated, thus may light herself, to shed more light but consume herself through it. The question is, will I burn my hands through bearing her such and thus be consumed myself? And Pered, if so, is it still worth it? Thanks to the both of you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 I've always found it to be true for me. I find that while I may burn in helping others illuminate themselves, the pain is not too heavy a burden to outweigh the joy I find in seeing their discovery, and like a phoenix I am not consumed but rather exalted. yes, love is vulnerability, and it takes a certain strength and courage to choose to be open, knowing that you WILL be hurt - a certainty because human beings are human and mistakes are part of us. But, speaking for me... It's worth loving others still, even when they can't love themselves. Loving them when they are acting unlovable. Holding up to them a vision of their potential, and holding them up to their light. Even when wrapped by their flames. It is worth it - to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Preprise Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 My first thought was "this is a horribly cliche subject, 'oh I'm a victim pity me oh boo hoo hoo'". BUT, your very thoughtful vocabulary kept me interested enough to re-read several times. Having delved deeper into the piece, the cynical undertones of assertion become clearer. Though the writer underscores the negative repercussions of his actions he more dominantly questions the value of a seemingly "noble" act, the act of helping someone at the cost of one's own energy/emotions/strength. We are not wallowing in self pity here, rather we are beginning to work up the resolve to break a vicious cycle. Indeed, why do I do this? Nit pick: I'd change "why do I do it" to "why do I do this". "It" has more of a generic connotation whereas "this" would give the impression of applying specifically to the scenario we are reading about and give the piece more immediacy and urgency. Thanks for this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mardrax Posted October 18, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 I totally agree with that philosophy most of the time Peredhil. I have my waverings of faith though, and this was written in one of them. Sometimes, one just can't give anymore, I guess. Preprise, thanks for the well thought out comment, and welcome to our little community. Joining up on my birthday like that, the nerve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Preprise Posted October 18, 2007 Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 I thought of another issue, why does the torchbearer require assistance? The connotation I get from the word torch bearer is one of strength. Not saying change it, just that I'm intrigued and confused. Not all together bad. I prefer when things aren't perfectly easy conceptually. anyway... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mardrax Posted October 18, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 Some things, you'll just have to figure out yourself In general, I like taking words out of their regular context, so I understand the confusion, maybe even aim for it. Who's to say? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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