Origins of Fire

[Atrium]

(I'd just like to say, for you D&D enthusiasts out there. I do not follow the rules when it comes to races. I am using Drow, but they do not live underground, nor are they treacherous backstabbers to one another...so before i get any complaints or criticisms of "That's not how drow are" or such, i am just giving clarification. this is the prequel to a story i've been working on since maybe 7th grade, i just started this prequel this year, so bare with me. any and all criticism (constructive please) is welcome.)

 

Chapter 1

 

On the morning of Syth’s birth, there was a great celebration. He was the youngest addition to the royal Drow family Flora, but not their last. He had a sister named Jaquelyn and a brother named Drake. They lived on Aquarius, a large cerulean sphere ransacked by perpetual war. Castle Flora, however, was usually in the eye of the storm. This was either because they had no quarrels with other nations, or because their defenses proved intimidating.

Syth’s birth was an exceptionally big event because this gave the Flora House two princes for the throne. The first, of course, would be Drake, but Syth would inherit the crown after his brother passed or could no longer fulfill his duties.

Syth’s parents were very loving. They taught him things like walking and talking as soon as was possible. Syth learned to talk after about eighteen months. He learned to walk at age two.

Jaquelyn was the oldest of the three at fifteen, and she treasured Syth with all the love a sister could give. She and their mother, however, could not get along, and so just a few days after Syth had turned three, she ran way and didn’t come back. After Syth realized she was not playing Hide-and-Seek and couldn’t find her, it was a few days before he smiled again.

He had caught on quite fast to walking and would wander all over the castle, so it was a surprise when he couldn’t find Jacki (as he called her). He loved his sister dearly, and it took a long time to get over her absence. He always showed unusual understanding for these things, despite his age.

 

As soon as he could hold a sword, his brother began teaching Syth how to fight. His brother was almost five years older than he was. Syth was introduced to many different weapons, but he preferred the sword overall and stubbornly stuck with it. His brother happily taught him the basics for sword fighting. Syth was a little slow to catch on at first, but once taught, he never forgot what he learned.

 

One day, while he was training with a dummy made from hay and rope, his mother came up to him, walking like a queen with her hands folded in front of her. Syth delivered a stab to his opponent’s “kidney” as she approached; she gave a small, but proud, smile.

“Syth, I have a surprise for you.”

He looked up at his mother. Her beautiful steel-blue eyes were both lovely and wise. She could look stern and comforting at the same time, depending on who was looking at her. Her silver bangs were braided and tied around her head like a band while the rest hung down. This was accented by a tiara. This tiara was interesting. It was white gold with a gem in the middle. She never wore it except on special occasions, so whatever Syth’s surprise was, it was a special occasion.

He sheathed his sword and stepped over to her. He was very excited, but tried to keep calm and act as a prince should. He simply held out his hands and closed his eyes. His mother smiled and tapped his head. He opened an eye.

“No, this isn’t a material surprise,” she said. “This is a bigger surprise than any object.” she looked over her shoulder. “You can come out now Elazule, it’s alright.”

A small girl, about Syth’s age, moved slowly out from behind her. Her hands were folded in the same fashion as Syth’s mother’s hands were. She wasn’t too shy, and bowed to Syth without hesitation. He bowed back and they looked at each other, both had a friendly smile.

Elazule was very pretty for her age. She wore a dark blue kimono-style dress, which brought out her dark purple hair. Her eyes were a hypnotic crimson, but a bit darker. Syth was a five year old, same as her, so she wasn’t so much pretty to him as she was “cool-looking”.

“Syth,” his mother spoke up. “Elazule wants to be your new friend. She is from the East Continent. Her family was moved here during…the Big Fight.”

She wasn’t quite ready to spoil his thoughts that everyone in the world was generally nice. As far as he still knew, sword fighting was just a game. People got into arguments and fist-fought, but he didn’t know what a war was. She figured ignorance was bliss, so she hadn’t taught him about war just yet, for fear he may grow aggressive or worried. It wasn’t sheltering him, it was just procrastinating.

He knew more than she gave him credit for. Syth observed a lot in his castle adventures. He once walked by a room in which his father and the military general were discussing the wars.

“No, we’re fine,” his father was saying. The two were seated with drinks in hand. “No one’s come to us with war in mind for years. But keep training the troops. I have a feeling that when someone does come, it’s going to be a big fight.”

Syth had put two and two together. His mother’s recent words just proved him right. He knew what War was alright; he just didn’t know the details, except that it was a bad thing.

He had been looking at Elazule this entire time, thinking about War. He shook his head and smiled at his mother.

“What should we do?” he asked innocently. Elazule didn’t look very interested in swords.

“Well,” his mother started, thinking. “What have you found around the castle lately?”

His mind flashed to his father’s War talk, but he wasn’t going to tell his mother about that.

“Do you like exploring?” Syth asked Elazule out of consideration. His mother smiled at this.

Elazule nodded, putting a smile on Syth’s face as well.

“I know!” he exclaimed with childish triumph. He remembered something he’d found a few days ago. “Follow me!”

He began running toward the castle. Elazule looked up at the Queen in confusion, not sure what to do. Syth was the first boy she’d ever played with, so she didn’t know how to act. He was spontaneous at that, not something she knew how to handle.

“Go on,” his mother urged with a smile.

Elazule nodded and sort of ran to catch up. She finally unfolded her hands in her running, revealing that her sleeves were too long; they draped far over her hands. Syth waited for her, and then began walking toward the castle.

“So what does your dad do?” he asked her. Now that they were away from his mother, he could be more casual, using words like “dad” and other informalities suitable for a seven year old.

Elazule seemed to feel the same way. However, as an only child, she didn’t have much practice.

“My father is the king of our region on the Eastern Continent.”

Her accent was that of a royal child being taught diligently by tutors hired by her father; almost non-existent.

“My dad does the same thing here.” Syth replied, speaking as though their parents’ jobs were just that: jobs.

Elazule smiled and they walked through the doors leading into the castle. Elazule didn’t have time to take it in, for Syth immediately started leading her down corridor after corridor until she was convinced that, wherever this thing was, aimless wandering was about the only way it could have been found.

They went down many different hallways, down a few staircases, even behind a couple walls Syth swore he found on his own and not by following a servant. Finally, after about a half hour of walking, they stopped at the bottom of another staircase. Elazule thought they were in the heart of the castle. Syth had stopped them in front of a huge door.

It was a redwood colossus (to them at least), heavily bolted with a wooden block set in to make a point. Whatever was behind that door, even Elazule wanted to see.

“How did you find it?” she asked Syth in a whisper.

“During one of my adventures,” he explained. “I saw the stairs we just came down and they were all dark. I tried to see what was down here, but it’s a spinney staircase and I fell down.”

He looked at his feet as he said this with embarrassment. Elazule laughed as any child would at another’s pain. She stopped at covered her mouth apologetically with her sleeves. Syth just smiled sheepishly.

“One of these days,” he said. “Even if we’re grown up and I have to use a witch, we’ll open it,” then, looking around, “C’mon, let’s go get some food!”

Elazule nodded and they ran upstairs to the kitchen.

 

 

 

Chapter 2

A few months passed and the two became very good friends. Syth began to look upon Elazule as a sister. They played many games and most of the time Syth would protect her from the “monsters” they were facing. He didn’t always because she said sometimes that she wanted to do it herself, which he was perfectly fine with.

They adventured all over the never ending castle, sometimes Elazule would be the instigator. She grew to love it as much as Syth did; adventuring, that is. As she was a resident of the castle, Syth’s father made sure Elazule learned the trick walls and trap doors and shortcuts necessary for protection in case of attack , and (she added silently to herself) to find Syth’s room and wake him up in the middle of the night for entertainment. Yes, she moved in quite fast. The first few months were pretty awkward, but by the fourth month, she felt right at home, feeling comfortable breaking Syth’s father’s rules and such.

The King, meanwhile, had made arrangements with her father that they would discuss with the two when they were a bit older. As an old friend to the Floras, Elazule’s parents got settled quicker than she, and Syth’s parents started to treat her as a second daughter. None of them, Syth, the Queen, or the King, would admit, however, that it was partly the loss of Jacki that attracted them to her so quickly. Syth’s brother Drake, was fairly indifferent to her. If she didn’t bother him, he left her alone as well.

A day came when Syth’s mother called him away from the lunch table via maid to speak with him in her room. He got up, confusedly, and wandered up to his parents’ room; the biggest one in the castle.

“Syth,” his mother began, sitting down. He sat beside her. “I wanted to tell you something very important.”

Syth suddenly became a little concerned. His first thought was that Elazule’s family was moving away. He didn’t allow himself to become paranoid, though, until he found out what his mother wanted.

“You’re going to have a baby brother Syth,” she said, smiling. “I’ll need you to start taking on a little responsibility. You will no longer be the youngest and we, your father and I, will expect you to protect your little brother.”

Syth brightened up at this. He loved playing the protector. A new little brother could be fun. He could teach him like Drake taught Syth, only a little different, disregarding the teachings Syth didn’t like or think were necessary. Elazule might be happy too!

“Elie!” Syth shouted, running down the hall back to lunch. “Elie! Come here!”

He had started calling her Elie some time in the past month and didn’t remember how, it just sort of started. Now Elazule came out of the kitchen in confusion. Syth stopped in front of her, catching his breath.

“Mom’s,” he panted. “Gonna have a baby!”

Elazule’s eyes widened in surprise and joy. She clasped her hands over her mouth girlishly.

“I’m gonna have a brother!” Syth said in a sing-song voice.

“A brother?!” Elazule practically shrieked. She calmed herself and cleared her throat.

Syth went back to the table happily to finish eating. A little brother is cool and all, but he was still hungry. Elazule questioned him about the baby while he ate.

Months passed and changes occurred. After eight years, the Flora family was going to produce another heir. Normally, families in their position (royalty) stopped after their second prince. Syth’s father, however, as his mother put it, was a ‘tamed lecher’; this also led to explain their meeting.

Plans were made and decorations were designed. The Flora household was transformed from a King’s castle to and oversized nursery. Presents flowed in from allied nations and family. They did everything but celebrate right up to the birth day.

 

Puck was born into the family in the evening around six moons, eight years after Syth. Syth looked at his brother with all the love Jacki gave him and decided he would protect Puck to the death (he’d heard knights say this about those they loved).

The celebration for Puck was almost as big as Syth’s. However, because of the circumstances, Syth’s was a bit bigger. Nonetheless, the castle was once again taken over by friends and family.

Syth wasn’t fond of crowds, so after he made his rounds, greeting those his mother wanted him to greet, he ran off with Elazule to hide. He would have gone to see Puck, but the crowd had beaten him to it, closing off his crib like a wooden door.

Elazule went with him, uncomfortable because she didn’t know anyone else. They traveled inside for food from the kitchen. There was a thirty-foot buffet outside, but they didn’t want party food, they wanted sandwiches. The maid inside got them each one and they were happy for the time being. Syth still really wanted to see Puck. They were extremely bored and restless to add to it. Syth wanted people to leave.

Then a miracle happened.

As Syth led Elazule out of the castle, he heard two voices. One was his mother’s voice, but the first he didn’t know.

“Thank you for the hospitality,” it said. “We will write you.” It was a man’s voice.

“You’re welcome here any time,” his mother replied politely. “Have a safe journey home.”

People were leaving! The party was coming to an end, finally. Syth smiled inside.

“Let’s go, hon,” another voice, female, was saying.

“Aww bu’ it’s only two suns,” a slurred voice argued.

Syth looked up at the stars. The moon was in the position implied; two suns. Syth suddenly realized how tired he was. He’d never stayed up to the morning hours before. His mother smiled at him.

“You can go to sleep now if you want,” she whispered. “I’ll take care of the guests.”

Syth nodded and gave her a hug. Elazule hugged her too and they traveled back inside. They parted ways at a set of stairs and said good-night. Syth was all too eager to sleep. The sooner he went to bed, the sooner he could wake up and see his new brother.

[Zepheri]

I've read this before and as always I love your work. I'm not sure what to say then what I have already told you before. I still love this and I really want to read more of it, and I want you to finish it!!! I really want to know what happens...so get to writing!!!!

[Savage Dragon]

the fool, little siblings are always the face of evil

 

very good read, makes me wish i had my own castle to explore

guess i'll settle for the high school

[Sweetcherrie]

*waves*

 

I've read this a couple of times now, and thought it was time I would actually do something after that reading as well

 

First thing's first, word found some small spelling mistakes.

 

This was either because they had no quarrels with other nations, or because their defenses proved intimidating.

defenses = defences

 

The first, of course, would be Drake, but Syth would inherit the crown after his brother passed or could no longer fulfill his duties

fulfill = fulfil

 

They traveled inside for food from the kitchen.

Elazule hugged her too and they traveled back inside.

traveled = travelled 2x

 

Righty then to how I read the story

 

I think you're doing a pretty good job here. You have a good idea, and you manage to convey it well. And, most importantly, it's fun to read. You manage to build up slowly, but without things getting boring.

 

What could possibly be improved upon is the way you give character background. In the beginning it's almost as if you are simply stating a list of facts, and this might possible come across better if you weave this in more with some atmosphere remarks.

 

On the morning of Syth’s birth, there was a great celebration. He was the youngest addition to the royal Drow family Flora, but not their last. He had a sister named Jaquelyn and a brother named Drake. They lived on Aquarius, a large cerulean sphere ransacked by perpetual war.

For example here you could say how big the celebration was, what they did to celebrate, did his sister and brother celebrate, etc.

 

It would make the story slightly more...hmm..decorated.

 

The other thing I would like to suggest is to leave more space in between your paragraphs and dialogue. In the beginning I did the same, but it makes it harder to read the story online. (thanks to Wyv who gave me that tip in the beginning )

 

“During one of my adventures,” he explained. “I saw the stairs we just came down and they were all dark.

I love the way you leave the stairs as a cliffhanger! You wrote this so well that I really wanted to know more there and then. And seriously, you have to finish this story, cause I still want to know

 

In the second part you develop the relationship between the two nicely, and the way you suggest that Syth is making those people leave by wanting it is cool to read as well.

 

All in all I think you have a story that is definitely worth continuing, and hope we will get to read more soon

[Sweetcherrie]

I have no idea what is wrong with the quoting system

 

Edit: Thanks Gyr, for fixing my quotes

Edited June 1, 2006 by Sweetcherrie

[Atrium]

thanks everyone for the feedback and the suggestions. i shall take them into consideration. This is one of the only stories i have stuck to with writing so naturally i want it to come out well. thanks again and more is on the way

[Zepheri]

thanks everyone for the feedback and the suggestions. i shall take them into consideration. This is one of the only stories i have stuck to with writing so naturally i want it to come out well. thanks again and more is on the way

 

More better be on the way!!!! or else.....I'm not sure what else at the time, but I'll get back to you on that.

[Atrium]

More better be on the way!!!! or else.....I'm not sure what else at the time, but I'll get back to you on that.

no, please, i'd like to read the or else. does it involve cookies? oh please tell me!!!

[Atrium]

(At long last, chpater 3 has arrived. gather round chillins. the story trough is full of good 'uns, come get you some!)

Chapter 3

Syth stepped out onto the back lawn and stretched. It was a crisp spring morning and his mother was too busy with a three month old Puck to assign him any chores. He walked through the grass, soaking his leather boots with dew. Syth was headed toward the training ground to work on his swordplay. He’d been paying attention to Puck with the interest of a child receiving a new toy, putting himself out of practice.

Unsheathing his sword, he took the necessary stance in front of the straw dummy. Just as he was about to strike the first blow, Drake moved in front of him, causing Syth to falter.

“Mom wants to speak with you,” he said almost quietly.

Syth looked up at his brother. Drake looked back at him, is stern face had kept itself from changing for a few years now. He looked at Syth like a chore he didn’t want to do.

“What does she want?” Syth asked solemnly.

“I don’t know, go find out,” Drake snapped with a hint of impatience.

Syth sheathed his sword and started to head inside.

“Where is she?” he asked.

“In the kitchen.”

Syth continued inside. He couldn’t remember ever doing anything to Drake that would incur the apparent distaste his brother held for him. Nevertheless, he trudged into the kitchen to find his mother feeding a restless Puck.

“You wanted to see me?” he asked the back of her head.

“C’mon Puck, eat please!” she was saying. “Hi sweetheart. Yes, your father and I would like to speak with you tonight; you and Elazule. Puck, eat!”

“Alright…what about?”

“We’ll speak with you about it then.”

“Alright,” he turned to leave. “Mom?”

“Y-yes, hon?” she replied, more focused on forcing Puck’s mouth open.

“Why doesn’t Drake like me?”

“He likes you,” she said absently.

“No, I don’t think he does.”

“Well, maybe he’s just in a bad-Puck! No!”

Syth’s little brother had just knocked the spoon his mother was feeding him with onto the floor. Syth could see she was too busy so he left her to finish and dropped the subject. He headed upstairs to see if Elazule was awake yet.

“Come on in!” she called when he knocked on her door.

Elazule was slipping on her shoes and Syth entered. She smiled at him and finished straightening her shirt.

“I just wanted to tell you that our parents want to talk to us tonight. And I wanted to see if you were awake,” he added.

“Yes, I am,” she replied. “Did you want to do something?”

“Eh,” Syth shrugged. “I was about to train a little earlier before mom called me.”

“Oh, well,” Elazule thought a moment. “We could…”

There was silence on both ends.

“Let’s climb the tower!” Syth suggested.

“But your mom and dad-”

“I know, they said that when we were, like, seven though. We’re nine now; it should be okay.”

“What’s up there?” Elazule pondered.

“I don’t know,” Syth answered. “But it’s the tallest one in the castle and dad always goes up there for some reason.”

“Well then we should go. It’d be a new adventure,” Elazule said with enthusiasm.

Syth hesitated. “It’s just that there are guards around it and it’s more than just a stair climb. We’ll have to be extra careful.”

“That’s okay, we’ve snuck food out from under the cooks’ noses many times.”

“This is true,” Syth realized, a little more confident. “Alright, well, it’s over in the west corner of the castle, on the other side.”

“But that’s like, ten minutes away,” Elazule complained.

“So? Longer adventure,” Syth retorted.

Syth, and mostly Elazule, had heard of ninjas before, and about how they used something called stealth to elude their enemies. Ninjas were native to Elazule’s continent so she was a little more familiar with them. They had seen pictures of them from Elazule’s dad and Syth really liked their outfits and weapons. He suggested they dress up like ninjas to maybe help them from being seen. So it was that Syth and Elazule changed to all black and Syth donned a cloth over his mouth and nose to conceal his identity. Elazule just wore a hood.

They left Elazule’s room and began their journey westward. Elazule was right; it took them at least a minute to reach the top of one set of stairs. They decided to make a game out of it and sidled along narrow ledges, walked across balconies, used ropes of chandeliers to get to separate staircases, and truly made their ten minute trek into a lengthy adventure.

Upon reaching the western region, they became more cautious. This area played host too many rooms of importance, but most importantly, the vault. The entire Flora family inheritance lay in a foolproof, enchanted vault on this side of the castle. As such, Syth’s father had guards around this section, even though the enchantment was powerful enough to keep out a mage.

Syth had met each one of them, but upon his father’s request they kept watch over him when he was in this area to make sure he didn’t step out of line; especially by climbing the tower.

Syth straightened his mask and Elazule pulled the hood over her eyes. They took to the shadows and began their stealthy mission to the tower. They made sure no guards saw them coming to this area, and that they were well hidden. The guards themselves were relaxing as they usually did. Their job was no job at all. No one ever came to the vault except for Syth’s father. Still, they showed up for their pay.

“Here’s the plan,” Syth whispered, so low that Elazule cocked an ear. “We can’t both go at the same time, so we have to either split up or go the same way one at a time.”

“Both have their risks,” Elazule thought. “We should go one at a time.”

‘She’s really into character,” Syth perceived. “Okay, but if one gets caught, the other must keep going.”

“Understood.”

Syth went first, creeping out into the main hallway of the floor they were on. A door was open a couple rooms ahead and he could hear guards’ laughter and voices.

‘Wow…this is just like being a ninja…I think,’ Syth pondered.

He came to the doorway and peeked around the frame. The guards were all seated and drinking. Some were admiring the room and its contents. All of them, Syth saw, were equipped with swords. He waited until he was sure they had their backs turned to him, then dashed quietly past the door. The sudden break in the light flowing out of the room caught one guard’s attention, but Syth heard him lame it on a cat.

Syth made his way to the stairs at the end of the hall. Checking his rear, he started to ascend. Meanwhile, Elazule had been taking visual notes and was gathering the courage to follow. She took a step forward, then, heard footsteps in the hall. She ducked back into the shadows just as a guard came around the corner.

“Here, kitty kitty kitty,” he crooned. After no response he headed back to the room; never once did he even notice Elazule.

She breathed again after the sound of his footsteps stifled. Elazule knew it was a game, but the guards didn’t, and she wasn’t entirely sure they would not kill her if they found her.

Syth reached the top of the staircase and looked around. Two guards stood in front of a vast, steel door, both armed to the teeth. Thanking the gods he came up on the side, Syth began to devise a diversion to get past them. He sat in the shadows and thought.

‘What would a ninja do in this situation?’

He thought of a custom of theirs called something like “Hara Kiri”, but decided it wasn’t that serious.

What did a ninja do in a situation like this? Syth saw a chunk of stone from the wall lying on the floor. He picked it up and began considering. After some deliberation he threw the rock as hard as he could toward the other end of the hall, hoping to make noise. His aim was a bit off and the rock struck the guard nearest him in the temple. He toppled over and the other guard immediately sprang into defense mode.

“’Oo’s there?” he demanded in a voice to hide his surprise.

Syth made no movements. The guard straightened his own dome-shaped helm on top of his head and continued looking around as his partner slept. Syth figured he could sneak past one bewildered guard and stood up.

The guard was obviously afraid to move, keeping his feet rooted to the spot. He turned his attention to the set of stair Syth had been aiming at. Here, Syth made his move. He darted out of the shadows as quietly as possible. Syth had no prior training as a ninja so he wasn’t too aware of their tactics. He did know from stealth, however, and went off that knowledge.

Moving up behind the guard, Syth could see how badly he’d startled the shaken employee. The guard was whispering to himself about “ghosts”. He was, apparently, superstitious. Syth played off of this by hiding in the nook created by the threshold of the vault. He carefully took a gauntlet from the sleeping guard and threw it down the hall in the direction he’d come from. The guard ran over in the direction of the noise and Syth took the opportunity.

As Elazule neared the steps on her level, she had to freeze to keep from being hit by a falling piece of metal. Out of panic, she absently grabbed the nearest doorknob and slid into the unlocked room it concealed. From a crack in the door, she saw the guard from upstairs come down and the other guards, swords drawn, came running out.

“What’s all this then?” the head guard inquired.

“’S-‘S-‘S ghosts, sir!” the upstairs-guard replied.

“Ghosts?” the leader paused. “Bloody ghosts?!”

The guards behind him all began to laugh.

“’S true, sir! They knocked out Blanco, sir!”

The head guard’s face grew solemn. “Where is ‘e?”

“Up the stairs, sir.”

The faction headed upstairs cautiously and Elazule could see that they were superstitious. She giggled silently. Now how was she supposed to get up there? It suddenly dawned on her. As she pondered this, she heard the clink of armor. The entire faction was coming back downstairs. Two were carrying the fallen guard Blanco. They disappeared into their room and Elazule ran as fast as she could up the stairs, down the next hall, up those stairs, and right into Syth.

His attention was on a wooden door, which he was thrown into by Elazule.

“Sorry,” she apologized.

Syth stood up and shook dust out of his hair. “It’s ok. I need your help though.”

Elazule looked at the door and saw the board that was lying in place to lock it. They both gripped the bottom and lifted as hard as they could. This tower was for use by Syth’s father and Syth’s father only, so the board was not too heavy in case he came here without a guard.

Therefore, but with some difficulty, though not as much as was expected, the duo got the board off. It fell to the floor loudly and the door creaked open a little. Without hesitation they opened it, revealing a spiral staircase. Syth gave a smile to say I-told-you-so.

‘So, we just go up?” Elazule asked in a whisper.

Syth answered by walking up the first few steps. He then turned toward Elazule.

“Close the door behind you,” he instructed.

Elazule ascended two steps and pulled the door closed. The pair cautiously climbed up the tower, each step making them more and more anxious. They were climbing a good four minutes before they came to a landing. It held a ladder and a trap door on the ceiling. Syth climbed the ladder and pulled on the door. It didn’t budge.

“What is it?” Elazule inquired.

“The door won’t open,” Syth replied in disbelief. He tugged on the door again. “No…” he repeatedly pulled on it. “No!” he was now frustrated.

Risking injury, Syth gripped the ring handle and hung on, taking his feet off the ladder. After a few moments, he dropped to the floor in defeat. Elazule looked up at the door and climbed the ladder.

“Don’t bother,” Syth muttered.

Elazule pushed the door lightly; it opened a little.

“Syth, it opens out,” she informed him.

Syth looked up. The hatch was open and sunlight bathed the ladder Elazule was standing on. He rose to his feet and followed her up and out. The landing was quite spacious. They took a few moments to get over the so-this-is-what’s-up-here feeling. Syth moved over to the side. A stone wall kept him two feet from the edge. He had a view of the forest surrounding the castle. The horizon showed him the span of the forest. Elazule came to join him.

“It’s so pretty,” she exclaimed. “But, I don’t see why you aren’t allowed up here.

“Dad probably thinks I’ll climb on this part and fall. I’m not stupid! I wouldn’t…climb…wha?” Syth broke off, distracted.

“What is it?” Elazule became confused.

Syth pointed silently at the forest. The two saw smoke near the edge and became very confused. Syth looked at Elazule and back at the forest, and then both of them felt daggers at their throats.

“We’ve got you now, mate,” they heard a gruff voice declare.

“Filthy intruders, your smoke signals are useless now,” another voice followed.

(in case you can't tell by now (except Zepheri) i love cliffhangers )