Curious Mylo Posted August 29, 2005 Report Share Posted August 29, 2005 Scene 1: [Rhonda and Molly are walking down the Toilet Paper aisle at QFC] Molly: Hey Ron, (half whispering) is it just me or is this really embarrassing? Rhonda: You mean the whole T.P. shopping spree? (Shrugs.) We’ll live. Molly: I’ve never gone shopping for toilet paper, that’s what my mom’s for. Rhonda: Get over it, Your mom won’t last forever. Molly: What kind are we supposed to get anyways? Rhonda: Whichever kind’s better I guess. Molly: But… how can you tell? The wrapping stuff is in the way. You can’t see which one’s softer. (short pause while Rhonda looks at the different kinds) OH OH OH! RHONDA!!! LOOK!!! It’s got a bear on it!! Rhonda: That’s the CHA CHA CHA bear, right? Molly: Yeah!!! It’s the (sings) “less is more, less is more” bear!!! Rhonda: Yeah, but it sings a lot better than you do. (half joking) Molly: We should SO get that kind!! Just because it’s cute!! Rhonda: Wait, there’s a puppy on this one. Molly: Oh yeah! That’s where the little kid falls and the puppy rolls the toilet paper so the baby doesn’t get hurted!! Rhonda: We should get this in honor of the puppy so faithfully risking its life to save the baby. Molly: Don’t forget the cha cha cha bear!! Rhonda: The puppy is better. Molly: Bear! Rhonda: Puppy! Molly: Bear!!! Come on, it’s so much better, it SINGS!! Rhonda: But the puppy saves the baby!! Molly: So? The bear sings. (The QFC Manager walks over to them) Manager: Excuse me ladies, is there a problem here. Rhonda: Yes there is, (shoves Molly to the side) okay. Am I right when I say that the puppy is so much cuter than the bear?? Manager: Well, Miss, the quality of the toilet paper isn’t determined on how… “Cute” the wrapping is. Rhonda: But the puppy is cuter, right? You know it is. Just admit it. Manager: I’m sorry, ladies, but there are other customers and other issues I have to attend to. But the Charmin is better quality in my opinion. (Walks away quickly before they ask any more questions.) Molly: I WIN!!! Rhonda: Yeah, sure. Whatever. Molly: But… how many do we get?? Rhonda: Hmm. One roll is about two days of you taking off makeup, so a pack of 24 would last you about (pauses to calculate) a month and a half. One should be just fine. Molly: (Puts one in their cart) But what if I run out halfway through taking off my makeup?! Rhonda: Oh man, that would be so … horrible. (Mimicking) Molly: Terrible!! Rhonda: Unspeakable. (Still mimicking) Molly: Even… tragic!!! Rhonda: (rolls her eyes.) We better get you two just in case. (Puts another in their cart and starts walking down the aisle to the checkout stand) [blackout and plays the Charmin Ultra Less is more song.] Scene 2: [Rhonda and Mollie are on their way to the checkout stand. There are 6 random shoppers around.] Molly: (Singing.) What you used to love now you’re gunna adore! With Charmin Ultra less is more. Rhonda: Shut up Molly!! (Elbows her) Molly: Owwwwww…oooooo!!! Look!! (Points at a skirt) Rhonda: Isn’t that a bit small? Molly: Nope!! It’s stretchy!! (Stretches it) Rhonda: oh wow, they are. (Getting interested) Molly: I like the pink ones. Oooooooo!!!! Look!! Matching hair fluffies!!! Rhonda: I like the green ones. (Notices the hair bands) Hey, they fit our wrists. Molly: Look! There’s a pink Tiara!! Rhonda: Nice. They’ve got those crown things from the fair. Molly: How much do these things cost anyways? Rhonda: Who cares, I want to try them on. Molly: Here? In the middle of the store? Rhonda: Yeah. Why not? Molly: Won’t we get yelled at?? Rhonda: I dunno, wanna find out? Molly: (shrugs) Ok! (They both put on the skirts and hair fluffiez on their wrists.) Molly: How do we put the tiaras on without a mirror? We can’t go in the bathrooms with the stuff. Rhonda: Don’t they have mirrors behind the veggies? Molly: … and your point is… what? I don’t want to stick my head in the veggies to put a tiara on. Rhonda: I don’t mind. (Walks over to the veggies and puts the tiara on.) How does it look?? Molly: Gorgeous. Scoot over! My turn!! (Puts her tiara on) Rhonda: Beautiful. I’ve got an idea. Molly: What?! Tell me!! Rhonda: Want to play hide and seek? Molly: I LOVE THAT GAME!!! Rhonda: I’ll hide first. Close your eyes and count to 20. Molly: Okay! (Covers her eyes and counts to 20.) READY OR NOT HERE I COME!!! (Walks off to look for Rhonda and leaves the cart with the toilet paper.) [blackout] Scene 3: [Molly walks on looking for Rhonda who’s hiding behind another shopper.] Molly: (to the customer) Excuse me… (To Rhonda) Gotcha! Rhonda: Catch me if you can!!! (Grabs an empty shopping cart and races off stage) Molly: umm… hmm… (Grabs a customer’s shopping cart and runs after Rhonda.) WAIT FOR ME!!!!!! [Laughing off stage] (Molly chases Rhonda across the stage with the carts.) [More laughing and screaming off stage] (Rhonda chases Molly across the stage with the carts.) [Crashing sound from off stage.] (A cart gets pushed across the stage.) [blackout] Scene 4: Customer: (Walks over to the manager) Excuse me, have you seen those girls running around here? Manager: No, I can’t say that I have. Customer: Well there are two girls running around here dressed like princesses with shopping carts. One of them stole my shopping cart!! Manager: (Thinking) I’ll take care of this shortly. Customer: Thank you very much. (Walks off stage) Manager: Princesses with shopping carts huh… (Walks off stage slightly amused.) (Molly and Rhonda run across the stage holding hands and then Molly trips. She gets back up and keeps running.) Rhonda: Klutz! Molly: Shut up! You’re so mean to me!! (The manager takes a few steps out and stands there looking at Molly and Rhonda.) Molly: Hi! Rhonda: Hello. (Cautious.) Manager: There’s a slight issue with (looks at the skirts) this. Rhonda: Excuse me. Manager: Are you two going to be purchasing those items? Molly: Um… are we Rhonda? Rhonda: Well. Maybe. Manager: Maybe meaning. Rhonda: Maybe meaning most of them and the rest… none of your business. Manager: Would you be willing to put the items you won’t be purchasing back? Rhonda: Yeah, fine. We’ll go do that. Manager: Thank you, and have a good day. (Walks off) [blackout] Scene 5: [Rhonda and Molly stand in the frozen foods aisle] Rhonda: (Sadly) We stand here today in memory of the cuteness that has recently died. And… Molly: (Interrupting) but of course it’s not all of our cuteness, because we’ve definitely still got a lot left. It was just a portion of it that was killed. Rhonda: (Dorky) I know!! Oh wait… sad. (Suddenly sad) As these really beautiful ice cream bars get eaten, so does our sorrow. Let go of your sadness and open your hearts to the joy that surrounds you! Molly: can I eat the ice cream now? I’m still feeling pretty sad. Rhonda: Molly. I’m not done yet. Molly: oh, sorry. But when you’re done can I? Rhonda: I’ll consider it. Molly: thank you. Rhonda: You’re welcome. Now… (Suddenly sad again) Does anybody have any memories they would like to share? Molly: oh oh oh!! Me me me!! I remember the moment we met. We were standing over next to the cash… ringy thingys and it was SO CUTE. It’s so sad that it had to die this way. But I’ll never forget it. Rhonda: Now lets close our eyes and have a moment of silence in memory of the cuteness. (Rhonda and Molly close their eyes and look down in silence as customers hurry by them but look up when they’re gone.) Rhonda: Now as we leave eating our ice cream, never forget that cuteness can be found anywhere. Even in a grocery store. Thank you, and goodnight. Molly: You’re welcome. (Pause) Now, do you like strawberry or chocolate better? (They walk off talking while the Charmin Ultra song plays.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyBuddha Posted October 12, 2005 Report Share Posted October 12, 2005 Very cute and funny - I like some of stage directions, they fit the play well I think it might be improved slightly if you made the symbolic "death" of the cuteness a tad more obvious. I of course got what happened, but only after the fact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetcherrie Posted October 12, 2005 Report Share Posted October 12, 2005 I agree with HappyBuddha, definitely cute Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caralyn Posted October 13, 2005 Report Share Posted October 13, 2005 Very cute and agree with my fellow pennites. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts