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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Thoughts on Growing Older


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So next thursday I turn nineteen years old. I didn't realize this until today, when I received an early birthday card from my grandmother.

 

My, how things have changed. When I was younger, my birthday was a thing to look forward to, the new responsibilities and possibilities an endless list. Now, it sneaks around like a rogue in the shadows, waiting to backstab me with cake and candles.

 

I work two jobs, and go to school full time, to explain a bit of this. I currently have the following schedule:

 

3:15-3:45 AM - Wake up, shake sleep from eyes, get dressed blearily and try not to turn on any lights. Consume any quick food that will provide energy without taking too long to digest.

 

4:00-4:30 AM - Show up to FedEx, and ascertain whether it'll be a good or bad day. For those of you who have never worked in the shipping industry, there are a lot more of the latter than the former. Move boxes for 3-3.5 hours.

 

7:00-7:30 AM - Leave FedEx dead tired and prepared for sleep. Get dropped off at school and stumble into the labs, set up laptop and check out the to-do list for today. Check out equipment, help students, and work for four hours.

 

Noon - Leave labs, head to cafeteria. Stare at shiny moving images on laptop for an hour.

 

1:00 PM-5:00PM - Stare blankly at teachers intent on keeping the secrets of networking, english, and math from us by confusion and convoluted rules. Take notes when I can bring my brain into alignment.

 

6:00 PM - Fall asleep.

 

The plus side is that I'm a college student spending about 450 bucks a month on bills and rent, and I make over twice that a month, leaving me plenty of money to save up for a car or eat real food, though I may die before I enjoy much of either of those. Also, weeks go by really quickly.

 

I kind of miss the fact that nobody is going to celebrate my birthday. I owe my parents money, and I received my birthday present from them early in the form of a loan that I'll have to pay them back for, which at least managed to keep me going until I started getting paid. My friends really aren't that close compared to my older friends, and all my old friends are far, far away now. I'll probably take the day off of school (ha, no I won't), bake myself a cake and forget to stick candles in it, then pass out in preparation for work the next day.

 

It's not really depressing though, because that would require effort and I don't have near enough energy for that anymore. I'm just kind of zoned out all the time, but at least I can enjoy the material things in life, even if I spend all my free time sleeping or sitting staring at my computer.

 

However, I think Peredhil still puts in more hours out of the house than me.

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Reminds me somewhat of my birthday earlier this week...

 

Friends: "Happy Birthday! We'll celebrate after we finish exams next week."

 

*goes back to studying*

 

Family over phone from more than 1000 kilometers away: "Happy Birthday!"

 

*goes back to studying*

 

Oh and I also had 8 hours of classes...

 

Happy birthday in advance though Falcon. :)

Edited by Patrick Durham
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