Sweetcherrie Posted February 27, 2005 Report Share Posted February 27, 2005 In IRC I had some 'silly' coversations with Zadown, below you can see the result. Zadown and the computergnomes Zadown was sitting behind his computer, a plate of pasta between him and his keyboard. Like a robot he was automatically transporting the fork to his mouth, while staring at the screen. He liked pasta, always had, and this was a good thing because it was all he could cook. Outside it was minus 15 degrees Celsius, and this morning he had almost frozen his nose off during work. But all this was now forgotten because inside it was warm and comfortable, and the next workday was stowed away in the back of his head. Even better, if his computer would be working a bit quicker, this day would have been quite all right. Annoyed by the slow reactions of his pc, he frantically clicked the mouse button again, hoping that it would speed up the process. Unfortunately it didn’t and the website he wanted to see, seemed to have gone in hibernation. Sighing he stopped clicking, and knocked on his computer, “Guys, are you still awake there?” A mumble rose up from the inside of his pc. He stood up and opened the disc drive, as it came sliding out, a little creature appeared with it. “What are you doing in there? Sleeping?” “I’m am forever sorry sir, but one of the hard drive gnomes has died of old age. We is busy finding a replacement, but we isn’t finding one brave enough, sir.” The little gnome tried to stretch his back, and a tiny crack could be heard. Zadown was getting a bit impatient with his gnomes. Last week they had been on strike for a whole hour, and this only because he made them work 23 and a half hours per day. “What do you mean, brave enough?” “Oh sir, they is all hearing rumours about how you want to feed them to a cat, sir.” The gnome twisted nervously with his little feet, “and now, there is no gnomes left willin to work for sir, sir.” The gnome saw Zadown’s face growing angrier with each of his words, and hurried to add, “But me is not believing that sir, no sir.” He tried to stand up straight again, but old age had deformed his back into a permanent hunch. Zadown slowly sat down again, and counted to ten to let the anger flow away. It took a bit longer than counting to ten, but when he was cooled down again, he asked, “What do they want this time?” “Me has heard them speakin about pension money, sir. Maybe sir can even get young gnomes when he offers day-care for the children, sir.” Zadown felt the anger rise again, but as quick as it had come, it now faded away again. It was no use to get angry with his computer gnomes. He knew that they were old, and probably very tired of the work he asked from them. And besides, he couldn’t afford to lose his computer now. Not until he had saved up enough money to get that Super-Satanic-Angel-Driven computer he had seen on the web the other day. Suddenly an idea popped in his head, “What if I would offer them cookies?” he asked the gnome. The little guy’s face started glowering with greed, as he heard the word cookies. “Me will have to go talkin to the other gnomes, sir,” and he turned around and duck into the dark hole, filled with chaotically arranged wires. Zadown waited patiently, but luckily he didn’t have to wait long. The gnome came running back out again, and sat down grasping for breath. “They is ok with that, sir, but they want the good, chocolate cookies, sir. They is also wantin milk sir.” “I never spoke about m-“ “They is sayin that they won’t do it without the milk, sir,” interrupted the gnome. Zadown thought it over for a minute. Cookies and milk would definitely be cheaper than pension and day-care. He made up his mind, “we have a deal,” he said sternly, “and could you now get back to work, please?” The gnome stood up, saluted, and walked back into the computer. Zadown pressed the button for the disc drive, and it closed. Looking back at his screen he saw that the website he had been looking for had appeared. He shook his head and went back to reading the story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gryphon Posted February 27, 2005 Report Share Posted February 27, 2005 Beautiful... reminds me very very distinctly of House Elves in Harry Potter... I try to give my computergnomes downtime every day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katzaniel Posted February 27, 2005 Report Share Posted February 27, 2005 This just made my day. That is, "Me is thankful, sir." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted February 27, 2005 Report Share Posted February 27, 2005 this is WONDERFUL! Walks away with a big cheery smile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zadown Posted February 28, 2005 Report Share Posted February 28, 2005 Walks past the thread carrying a hungry cat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akallabeth Posted February 28, 2005 Report Share Posted February 28, 2005 Heh I remember a conversation in IRC related to this. . . Excellent piece Sweetcherrie, and the gnomes also remind me of house elves in Harry Potter too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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