BlackCagedHeart Posted May 12, 2004 Report Share Posted May 12, 2004 Today I had realized That I had lied To myself About your love I knew I wasn't right I admit to this alright? I broke up with you For what you put me through But it is now I know I can never let you go I found out something else BEing alone is hell I found out that I love you And you do love me too I can't stand not to see you Alone I am see-through You get to my heart You can't stand to see my scars You can't because you love You might be 'the one' ....I know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mira Posted May 12, 2004 Report Share Posted May 12, 2004 I liked several things about this poem. First I enjoyed the way it seems to speak directly to someone; it’s the kind of poem that needs to be said right to someone's face. I also really liked the lines; "I knew I wasn't right I admit to this alright?" These lines clearly show the speaker’s weakness on the particular subject, and it almost appears as they are vainly trying to say more, only to be held back by the power of their emotions. I'd like to see more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlad Posted May 13, 2004 Report Share Posted May 13, 2004 This style of poetry usually doesn't sit well with me, but it's a really neat idea. The whole dellivery seems rushed, but that goes with the well with the concept behind it. I have to echo Mira's comment about the speaker's weakness, but also think that they are insignificant when compared to the speakers strength which immediately follows. I broke up with you For what you put me through That clearly shows the speaker thinks he made the right decision, or doesn't want to be hurt anymore. Perhaps the weakness is that he doesn't know what the right decision is. Or that he doesn't want to make the right decision, but instead take the easy way out? Regerdless it was definetly a good read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackCagedHeart Posted July 21, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2004 You guys.......::blushes:: My writing's SUCk stop complimenting my shit! lol. Whatever. You guys are too nice to me..... BlackCagedHeart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cryptomancer Posted July 21, 2004 Report Share Posted July 21, 2004 You write with a passion and a message. With the emotive connection to the reader, showing both sides of a story. Life tought me the pain of loss from both sides, I love poems that touch deep, reminding us of life, Letting us know we feel. I would love to read more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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