Gwaihir Posted February 6, 2004 Report Share Posted February 6, 2004 We never really did learn to just chat With each other. But now the silences Don’t hurt. Now we can let them sit empty No more obligations to talk—or care. And we don’t talk as much, but I think we say more. So many things, at last all safe to say. Like now I know it’s safe to joke And tell you why that first kiss scared me so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Appy Posted February 6, 2004 Report Share Posted February 6, 2004 For reasons I won't reveal this really hit me, and I can relate to it a lot... Thank you for sharing this (yes, I know, no indepth response, but it's nice to hear a thank you every now and then isn't it? ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalypso Posted February 7, 2004 Report Share Posted February 7, 2004 The comfort level and understanding in long term relationships are invaluable. No more obligations to talk—or care. or care? I see the point you are trying to get across, but I think the way you wrote it can lead to misinterpretation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falcon2001 Posted February 7, 2004 Report Share Posted February 7, 2004 "We never really did learn to just chat With each other. But now the silences Don’t hurt. Now we can let them sit empty" You know this started out sounding like an explanation for all the Idlers in #thepen Unfortunately nothing more to say, good poem though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted February 7, 2004 Report Share Posted February 7, 2004 I really like this poem, Gwaihir, particularly its tone. The poem never seems cheerful, but initially it seems impersonal in a kind of interesting, artificial way. The artificiality of the impersonal tone is particularly seen at the end of the poem, where the universal "we" is finally exchanged for an "I," and we see the emotional devastation that truly lies at the center of the poem. I also really liked the structure of the first stanza, particularly the way that all of the sentence breaks are placed in the middle of the lines. It created a very choppy, disconnected feel that I thought complimented the themes of the poem nicely. One thing that struck me as out of place for some reason: the "all" in the line "So many things, at last all safe to say." Though it isn't directly stated in the line, I think that it would be implied that the many things are now safe to say without the "all." Very good poem, nicely done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Portrait of Zool Posted February 7, 2004 Report Share Posted February 7, 2004 I think the freedom from obligation with it's hard won freedom of intimacy was very well expressed. Well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yuki Kokoro Posted February 7, 2004 Report Share Posted February 7, 2004 Enjoyable poem. This came across as very emotionally because the undertone I hear shows that this is a person who is trying to remind himself all the good things about the end of this relationship, but inside is very hurt. However, the last line almost seems honestly relieved/calmed/comforted, I'm not sure why it read that way for me. The last line is also very intriguing because it could've scared the speaker because s/he wasn't ready for a relationship, or because s/he was sure it would end eventually, or because it felt like true love, and that's always scary. The title was very good, expressing the idea that only now are they getting to know each other, how ironic and strange when it works out that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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