X-Sabre Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 High above the circus ring, walking on a tightrope, I look down, weakening. My mind losing all hope. The people staring up at me, I wonder what they think. As I balance just barely, "Man does he really stink." Inside of the big tent, walks a scared man. He does this all to vent, in the only way he can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mira Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 It's a little rough around the edges, but maybe its just the way I'm reading it. Overall I think it clearly displays a sense of insecurity with oneself as you struggle to hold on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X-Sabre Posted February 2, 2004 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 I'm not really trying to polish my stuff anymore. Just writing it, and being done with it for the time being. Rewrites come later when I can look at the poem clearly without the emotion in my head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reverie Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 (edited) was wondering a little about that...the structure of your last couple of poems caught my eye... 'guess you're trying out new things... ah... just read that 'last words or last cause' one... this explains even more... thanx rev... Edited February 2, 2004 by reverie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elvida Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 hmm...i dunno. It sounded kind of unfinished to me...maybe another few lines. But other than that...its great! good job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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