Arashi Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 Venturing blissfully along this lifeless road Looking for an exit to save me from insanity I see roads leading to drugs and death And I see roads leading to false love and suicide But none of these seem to lead me to you I met you in what seemed to be a dream And kissed you in what felt like nirvana We spent a week on cloud nine Before you dropped me into purgitory Now this is where I am On this road that never ends Hoping that some day I find the one true path But the only other path on this road is pain and torment And it is lined with cliffs and mountains Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falcon2001 Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 I reccomend the acceptance of this hopeful Pennite. I am the one who reccomended that he join the Pen, and his poetic skills will flourish and flower in this new setting. Also, nice poem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 Peredhil comes in with Melba's seasonal gift, and hears the newcomer's words, and looks warily for Falcon's Reply Raven. I like the idea, and that the speaker doesn't greet set-backs with giving up. Took the liberty of fixing a couple of spelling errors, hope you don't mind. I'd suggest recommend reviewing the use of conjunctions at the beginning of your lines. In a poem they can often diminish impact and meter. The "but" is strong in that it is necessary to set what follows in contrast to what has gone before, however the two "And" might be better implied. All in all, a worthwhile read. With a hug for all, he's gone again. Thank you!!! Feedback is how we *all* grow! -P' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arashi Posted January 2, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 I do not mind if anyone corrects my spelling, I thank you for it. Oh, and Peredhil, you might want to correct that great and change it to a greet if that is what you meant to put. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purple_shadows Posted January 4, 2004 Report Share Posted January 4, 2004 *waves* good to see you here. I knew i'd find you. anyways. I just applied as well. See you around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted January 4, 2004 Report Share Posted January 4, 2004 Arashi sighs and shifts in his applicant easychair, glancing towards the exit of the Office and wondering if he should use it as a potential escape route from boredom. He had been waiting in his easychair for over fourty eight hours now, and the infamous Elder of Initiates had yet to show his scaly face. Glancing towards Falcon, Peredhil, and purple shadow in a worried manner, the anxious applicant raises himself from his seat and is about to head to the office exit when suddenly, Melba barges into the room dragging Wyvern behind her. The Almost Secretary of Initiates growls to herself and tosses Wyvern to Arashi's feet in a rage, cursing at the greedy reptile before noticing the presence of the new applicant and politely bowing. She scowls at Wyvern one final time before kindly smiling towards the others that have gathered in the Office and muttering: "Sorry for Mr. Wyvern's lateness... it seems that his latest Almost Dragonic Travel Agency idea wasn't the biggest success. Fortunatly, I managed to stop him before he used the last of his flight mileage to evade debt collectors by catching a plane to New Mexico." Wyvern whimpers something quietly from his mangled position on the ground before he's swiftly silenced by a triple-twist judo kick from Melba. Peredhil winces at this spectacle, then politely mutters: "Thank you for your help, Melba. I'm certain we can handle it from here." "Why thank you, Mr. Peredhil." says Melba. "And you're most welcome!" With that, the Almost Secretary bows once again towards Arashi and then departs from the Office, hoping to catch Brute somewhere in the hall while taking her much-needed coffee break. As she leaves the room, Wyvern shifts in his position on the ground, coughing a few times and extending a battered claw while painfully whispering: "Application... please." Arashi frowns in sympathy at the lizard, then hands him his application poem. Reading over the poem, Wyvern reaches the line about "cloud nine" before immediatly jumping to his scaly feet and frantically exclaiming: "Need a trip to Cloud Nine?! Would you like to visit Nirvana?!" Arashi jumps and stutters as the overgrown lizard grabs his shoulders and begins shaking him around. "Fly Almost Dragonic, before it goes bankrupt! We guarantee you'll get at least halfway to your destination before your flight is cancelled. Try our luxurious gryphon liner, courteousy of Kalypso (without her knowing it quite yet...) We promise you won't starve to death over the course of the few weeks the flight takes, you'll only get a little famished..." Arashi's face twists into a grimace and he's about to respond when Falcon2001 bashes Wyvern over the head with an Anti-Wyvern Mallet. The overgrown lizard wavers, stamping Arashi's application ACCEPTED just as he collapses into an unconscious heap on the ground. ;-) OOC: A nice poem, Arashi, and an ACCEPTED application. Welcome to the Mighty Pen! Apologies for the delay in responding, I look forward to having you as an active member in the community. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beautiful Nightmare Posted January 4, 2004 Report Share Posted January 4, 2004 *hugs* welcome to the pen hun!!! I loved your poem by the way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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