purple_shadows

So my mom is finally starting to accept that I'm going to art school. she called my advisor and after talking to her is now bragging to all of her friends how I'm going to go far, and my art advisor introduces me to her colleges as her most brilliant student, and telling me that colleges will be compeating for me, not the other way around, I can get into anywhere I want, blah, blah, blah. And while this may sound like bragging, it's not. I feel oddly out of place and compleately overwhelmed, considering that 6months ago I didn't think i had any chance of getting into art school and had settled for an English major or summat. Even my art teacher at the highschool seems sceptical when I talk to her about it. I'm just waiting for someone to point the finger and name me for the fake I am. But it's not happening, and I'm still trying to get settled in my skin. It's been a very surreal experience for me, and well, this came out of it. Enjoy. Modesty I wonder if I can live up to What you’ve predicted for me Sometimes I wish that I never Learned what it means to be the best I don’t feel it I’m just doing what I love No more no less And it seems for once that’s enough The pressure to perform begins to take over I think you overestimate me And now I struggle To maintain your standards I feel like a fake Modesty is one thing But this is another When will my confidence Match what you see in me?

We've been learning about Gothic art in my Understanding art class, and one of the things we looked at was perceptions of beauty, and how Madonna's durring that period were always painted as having long thin fingers, that went to a point of obscurity, and lookd very awkward, but was considered elegant at the time. The Madonna’s hands are long and thin Pale and deformed so that they may Appear beautiful and “other worldly” For she is not of our world, and never will be She cannot be But I have the Madonna’s hands Long and pale and awkward Does that somehow make me more pleasing? I am not pure, I never was I never will be So what then defines the real from the fake? The art from the artist?

*hugs* thanks Ayshela.

Is this about cutting? It could be, but it could also be something else. It could be a lot of other things now that I think of it. Maybe you'll figure it out, maybe you won't. Interpret it how you will. Finding Happiness I hate you You push me You judge what I do A small step for me Isn’t good enough for you We do what we can With the resources we have But you can’t see that You’re just like them Sometimes we all start from scratch Scratch Scratch Scratch One for the life One for the cost One for the youth that I’ve lost One for the loneliness One for the pain One for the bloodletting And maybe again One so the tears will not fall to the floor One so that trust doesn’t hurt anymore One because god is the only one there One because nobody cares One because fighting is sapping my strength One for the struggles that have been in vain One for the people who have turned me away One because I’ve done exactly the same One because living was never enough One because I loved you a little too much One because death is knocking my door One because I just don’t care anymore One because I can’t find an escape One because I never wanted to turn out this way One because I can’t let go One because I still have hope I close my eyes I fall away I give my life I have no shame I always do the best I can I cannot do much more than that And while I am not happy now Eventually I will be Pebbles may be all I’ve got Eventually I’ll lift a rock From that rock I’ll lift a boulder And with the weight of the world on my shoulder Will you not hold my hand? I can only do the best I can Do you really expect more than that?

Sorry I haven't been around so much guys, been trying to figure out the college process. Doesn't help that just last night I found out that my parents aren't even paying half, when just last year they told me they's pay the whole thing, so now I have about a year and a half to come up with $30,000, or else I don't get to go to art school, and they are going to pick where I'm going instead (apparently nursing) So I probably won't be around a whole lot for awhile. But hey, I got this out of it, so maybe there's still hope that you'll all see me around. enjoy. Making Up For Lost Time So you say that I’m a dreamer I’m not going nowhere And you tell me that life was never meant to be fair Please believe me when I say I’m gonna make it all right I just don’t want to be myself tonight And when my walls crash down around me I will stand on my own But I’m asking you now don’t make me do this alone Please believe me when I tell you I can make it all right I just don’t want to be myself tonight I just don’t want to be myself tonight I just don’t want to be myself tonight Please don’t make me be alone tonight

Gyrfalcon- I don't really like the phrase "no pain, no gain" either. Which uis why that has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. "the greater the suffering, the greater the gain" refers to the ability to feel such and inteense moment iof happiness when you've suffered for so. It has more meaning when you've been through so much, and as such you are less likely to take it for granted. It is possible to have pleasure without pain, I'm just saying that it is more appreciated that way. Blackcaged heart- I know it's hard to believe, but it really truely does happen. Those that know me know just how much crap I've been through and still go through everyday, but we're both young and i still have hope. You'll just hae to trust me when I say that it will get better.

You can’t have pleasure with out pain. The greater the suffering, the greater the gain. Nothing lasts forever. In times all things will end. Life wasn’t meant to be easy. Wait until tomorrow. The good will come again.

Shadows walks oer behind Ozy and clears her throat to get his attention.

Loki. Thank you for your suggestions. I haven't figured out a way to fix the line starting with "and" yet. that would change the meaning of it too much. And I certainly can't change "Myself" to "I" in the other line. It has to do with connotation. Changing it would alter the meaning slightly, but the difference would be enough that it wouldn't be the same feeling. Thanks again for your feedback.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm so stubborn I'm sorry I'm fucked up I'm sorry that myself could never be enough I'm sorry that I cannot be everything they saw for me I'm sorry I can't bring myself to trust There's so little of myself left My mind was never whole It seems there's only me now And even that I cannot hold I'm sorry I'm so angry I'm sorry I'm so scared I'm sorry that I opened up I'm sorry that you cared I'm sorry that life isn't always fair [Edited for spelling]

It's good, but also sad. Reminds me of what I used to write a long time ago. i hope all goes well for you and your friend.

I wish I could tell you The things on my mind Like how nice it felt When your hands covered mine But that was so long ago We’d both lost our nerve My heart aches every time I see your hands holding hers The smell of your hair When you’re sleeping against me I watch the movie She thinks that I’m listening I can’t begin to explain How hollow it feels To have such a longing When it can’t be revealed I think that you know I know you remember I’ll sit back and watch While my heart’s torn asunder For the sake of loyalty For the sake of a friend I’ll give her my world And watch while it ends In the name of honor In the name of trust I will not act Though it hurts me so much And I can see it in his eyes Just as I feel it in his touch But I’ll pretend to ignore it For the sake of her love

Hate is a powerful emotion that Once felt is hard to let go I felt it once Twisting inside me Consuming my soul But I no longer have the capacity to hate It gives you too much credit And so I let it go There once was a time when I loved you And when your façade shattered Revealing the lie underneath I hated you Because of the image I just couldn’t see And I walked away Shattered, and broken, and weak Down the twisted path of solitude Rebuilding my life, and my strength But I could never be whole And so my step faltered My hatred towards you became Too heavy a burden to bear I could feel it changing me into Everything you had been And so I dropped it Although it didn’t want to let go I left it behind me And while I’ll never forget what you did I won’t remember it either You’re just not worth the hate anymore

Have you ever missed someone when they were standing right next to you? Have you ever lost you keys only to realize you were holding them? Lost your glasses on your face? Opened a door onto the side of your head? Sat watching a bonfire until two in the morning whenit finally burned down enough to make smores? Have you ever worn wings to school or work, just because you felt like it? Have you ever gotten so absorbed in something that even when someone pushed you over, you didn't realize anything waws happening? Have you ever danced in the rain knowing full well the neighbors were standing in their windows snickering? Have you ever run in the wind with sheets trailing behind you? Were these sheets origionally togas? Were you supposed to be practicing for you're Ceasar dialoge the next day? Have you ever spent a day counting all the blue cars you saw just because of that one song? Have you ever smiled at a stranger? Did they smile back? Have you ever carried a barbie around in your backpack? Even though you're in college? Have you ever made something from nothing? Nothing from something? And in the end wished you hadn't?

After almost a year, my old friend has apologized for what happened between us that long time ago. This is the first time that she's talked to me since, and so believes that it's too late to mend things. If there is one thing I know, it's that it's never too late for anything. Not while you are still breathing. It's only when you stop that time runs out. This is the basis of my belief system. I believe in love and hope and forgiveness. I believe in fire and in earth. I believe in light. I believe water is more solid than rock. I believe that you don't need your eyes to see, althought I value what little sight I have as I am an artist and was almost compleatly blind throughout my childhood. I believe everyone has light in them as well as dark, and it is possible to choose the amount you have. I don't believe in luck, and I don't believe in chance, but at the same time I believe that some things were meant to happen because without a certain chain of events or possesion of certain objects, things wouldn't turn out the way they do. I don't believe in having regrets. The past is past, and how different might things have turned out without it? I'm agnostic. I haven't found a reliegion that fits with with my beliefs and frankly, i don't really care to. When I die, I die. i'll worry about beings and a life on the other side later. Provided there is another side. I believe that if there were such a thing as heaven and hell, we are already there. It's called earth. I don't think either is extreamely bad or exxtreamly good. infact, they are both beautiful if you know where to look. I live my life according to what I think is right. Some of it I have been taught directly, but most I've figured out indirectly through observation. I've learned even more through experience. I don't know if any of what I've said can be considered spirituality, to me it just is. It's what I've seen and it's what I know. As for religion, to each his own. Afterall, we're kinda stuck with each other, we might as well make the most of it by respecting the ways other people think.

*bows* thank you. and great job everyone who participated.

I hate that feeling.

This really flowed well to me. It was nice and light,easy to read, and it made me smile. All in all, I enjoyed it very much.

You're mom told me about that yesterday. We all (she, Jess and I) had a good laugh. Anyways, this is a very interesting format, not sure if I like it yet or not. Better luck with the job situation.

Shadows wanders into the tent, grinning like an idiot and humming a little tune to herself. So far the carnival had been a success. PS wanders in the other side of the tent, bumping into a few booths and the occassional person as well. "PS, we need to get you some better glasses," says the rat on her shoulder. "Why on earth would you say that?" she asks. It is at theis moment the two sisters meet. PS trips over a ball laying on the ground in front of the dunk tank, and Shadows, not realizing where she is, what she is doing, or why, proceeds to trip over her, and into the target, dunking Wyvern. "That's why." says the rat now on the ground next to PS. "Oh no!" says PS, horrified. "Here! let me help you up!" Ps grabs her sisters hand and attempts to pull her up. Shadows slips on the soggy grass underneath her feet and falls backwards, dragging her sister with her and into the target again, just as Wyvern is getting back onto the platform, soaking the reptile before he can even get himself seated. The two girls lay in a heap under the target, giggling and gasping for breath. Durring this Wyvern manages to get himself situated on the platform. "PS, could you please get off of me now? I think my legs are falling asleep!" Sghadows says between giggles. "OH my! Of course!" PS stands quickly and hitting her head on the target and sending the lizard into the water yet again. Shadows gets up and helps steady her sister. Both girls laugh as Wyvern climbs sulking onto the platform. Giggling, they each drop their payment into the jar and exit the tent.

well, of course chains can be burst, but that would require something other than a tempest. While a tepest wouild have the strength, i don't think it would have the right kind of streangth. Wind and rain, and thunder wouldn't do much more than slowly corrode chains over time...And then you'd be soaking wet and probably have hypothermia (sp?) or at least a really bad cold.

My entry: Out of Love

I am young and out of love To give, to have, to take From the day I fell my life was hell Then suddenly I crashed I am young and out of love To want, to need, to care I got up, shook off the dust And then I walked away I am young and out of love To know, to see, to touch And I’ve found here on the ground A reality of sorts Whatever, it fits my needs I am young and out of love Don’t tell me that I’m not I am young and out of love This illusion’s all I’ve got I am young and out of love I’m not I’m not I’m not

I liked this poem a lot. The concept of Seven word was interesting. What I have to critique however is the mixed metaphores. there aren't many but the spots where you find them is a bit of a stumbling block QWhile this is probably my favorite stanza, the first line doesn't really fit. Storms don't exactly free you. And wouldn't that much emotion simply chain you more? But maybe thats just me. In anycase, I'd find something else to compare emotion to that would fit with being freed, or unchained, or what have you. I love the poem, keep up the good work.

YAY! *dances*