Rune

My grandfather is Italian, My father first generation american. I wasnt allowed to learn the language growing up because of my father's rules...but it has always held a very special place in my heart because of my grandfather... it's really neat to see a poem written in the language. Reminded me of my grandfather for that reason. ^__^ Not because of the content. heh.

Its beautiful. You did a great job Tassle, I am glad you shared it.

<removed>

I'm not hurrying ^__^

When I wrote the original I reread it once, and then posted it. Mainly cause I knew that if I kept trying to "fix" it without the feedback I would hack it to bits and then get frustrated with it. The second rewrite was when it was still refresh in my mind. I will probably let it sit for awhile now and continue at a later date.

Thank you for the comments Cyril. I think you helped me identify some of the areas that were bothering me..that I couldnt quite figure out why. I think I understand everything you mentioned..only problem I have is trying to get things to near rhyme. For some reason when trying to think of something that nearly rhymes..I cant seem to come up with anything.

Ooo congrats Cyril. *huge huggles*

Very passionate and intense. I can tell it was written from the heart. I like how it is written in kind of a raw, rough draft instead of a structured poem form. I think that adds to the intensity. I sort of feel like im reading someones journal instead of something they posted, which also adds to the overall feeling.

Good Job!

oh and btw, never put yourself down like that silly. Your work isnt here to be compared (like what you posted in your intro) You share your writing at the pen to get honest feedback. And Im really glad you did, cause it's bloody brilliant.

click me to see!

Oh and add your responses to that thread ^__^ This one is just to show people that the results are in!

Congrats you guys!! ^__^

*throws gummis into the room*

The person above me is a great person to talk to on yahoo.

There are boggles, but no confusion in the land of doubles.

There is tons and tons of messy food in the land of doubles...but not a single napkin in sight. http://www.themightypen.net/public/style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif

The person above me worked hard for his siggie on the old keep..but seems to have lost it when he moved to the pen keep.

;___;

sorrow found in past memories rather than pain and anger? wow! You dont see that, that often. It seems that nowadays everyone has to regret or resent their past.. and that forgiveness is rare.

None the less, amazing poem as always. Thank you for sharing.

Reminds me of a childs glimpse of what is normally a dark subject. Kind of lighthearted and funny in a way. Thank you for sharing.

>___< High school...

Oo neat symbolism. Especially this part:

Just another sailor

Lost on life’s seas

That part really stuck with me, I like the imagery.

Thank you for sharing.

I will echo the praise of those before me. Great job, Thank you for sharing. ^__^

That poem could actually been taken several ways. Reminds me of last night..just kinda sitting there with nothing to do...

granted there was laundry..and some dishes..and some cleaning..but i had -nothing- to do

hehe, great poem! thanks for sharing.

Ooo such vivid mental images. Gah, and I almost missed this one! ;__; it was on the second page.

Good thing I went back....

Its belated but so glad you joined us Hopper!

wow thats good. I think I did the same assignment back in the day but mine was pretty bad...if I recall correctly.

Thanks for sharing, its always tough when you -have- to write a poem, but you did a great job even when pressured!

Ooo its very good. Its full and complete. I can see why it was published!

Congrats!

So sad ;__; but written so well.

My favorite part:

I want to hide.

But I can’t escape from it.

Loneliness is my fate.

I guess I’ll just to have to wait for it.

My past, a riddle,

a challenge with no end,

a world unfair,

unreal like never before.

My past... a riddle.

For some reason that really sticks with me. Kept trying to come up with something more creative to say but none the less, great job.

hehe, that was just too cute.

Backing up to get a better view of her masterpiece she stumbles as she feels the cold hard nobby knees of a certain half elf. Turning around slowly with an innocent look in her eye she notices Peredhil standing there with his arms crossed. Dropping her chin, but maintaining her stare, she quietly says "what?" in the cutest possible voice she can come up with. Considering her normal persona, it was pretty darn cute, and Peredhil mumbles at his inability to hold his fake grudge besides the fact that she had done something very wrong.

"You need to get to scrubbing it off Rune, and I expect you to mind the rules just like the rest of us." He lectures, his mock angry voice turning to one of concern and fatherly attention.

"O'kay" she says, a tremble on her lip. "I'm sorries." she continues, stiffling a slight sniffle.

Peredhil turns to leave and before he can barely spin on his heals a large grin hits his face. He just shakes his head as he walks away, commenting to himself on how darn cute a demon can be. He hopes that his attempt to sound angry was enough to teach her a lesson, even though he wasnt angry in the slightest.

Rune gets to scrubbing off the scribble on the sign.