Vlad

Vlad comes into the room, slightly dazed from bad experience in the past.

"Poetry? POETRY! What's poetry ever done for me, huh? Poets are just a bunch of-"

<Insert slight elbow jab from Degenero here> "You're supposed to make a good impression on the-"

"Right, right... Poetry... Best form of writing there is! Yep, doesn't get any better than poetry..."

OOC: Really, though, glad to see fresh meat.

I like the short, frantic style; it compliments the theme well.

One thing I'd change is the third stanza - take out the verbs maybe.

Friends gone

Love lost

Pain won

Hiding a must

Pretty good though. I like it a lot.

This is good; probably my favorite thing that you've written so far.

It's the most polished anyways.

For your dishonesty,

For your blatant truth.

Really nice.

In the mirror

Of my eyes

I can't judge

Any person

In the window

Of my soul

I can't hide

From people

In the doorway

Of my being

I can't cause

Effects on you

In the wound

Of my heart

I can't force

You to love

*gives Celes an odd look* you're a fan of who?

Tralla - great idea! I'll read it, can't gaurantee if I can write something... but I'll try!

I can help with ideas. I *ALWAYS* have ideas for stories, but not the time/skill/energy (in that order) to write them.

I liked the light attitude this poem takes.

The rhyme cheme seems kind of odd to me, but it doesn't really detract from th e poem.

I like the imagery making the reader understand the rings are powerful.

Good job, as always.

- Vlad

The sleeper within me

Arises from the darkest depths

Someone must've found the key

Unlocked all of the hidden truths

The sleeper silently tugs away

Bringing out fears of my heart

Personal demons growing sly

Always tearing my soul apart

The Sleeper tears at my life

Silently destroying everything I love

While I stare in horror; my body stiff

Secrets stolen from every alcove

The Sleeper will always exist

Feeding off the worst of me

Haunting memories constantly insist

That he is I, and I am he.

This is so sweet. I love it.

If you didn't call it "The Untelevised" I don't think I would have gotten that it is aboutthe media.

But that's part of what makes it so good - it can be expanded or contracted and related to life as awhole, or something small and specific.

I think I'm going to print this out and hang it up somewhere.

Wow. I like this. I admit that I probably didn't read it to the right beat, but it was excellent. Truly inspiring.

I love reading your work, man.

I like the broken style.

I think that it makes it flow better with the "bad joke" theme.

If I knew-

What this feeling really was;

If I knew-

Of this feeling's cause;

Then I would be-

A completely different man;

Then I would be-

An exquisetly enlightened one.

Do I see her with just my respect;

Could it really be so simple?

Do I see her only with my love;

Could it really be so pure?

If I only knew-

What's so special about her?

If I only knew-

Then I could be at peace.

Vlad now looks around

And looks again a bit more

And sees nobody.

-------

Well, I tried to get a second round started. Maybe it's the holidays and everybody is busy, but I hoped at least somebody would sign up. Well, the first round was sucessful, I guess that's more than I hoped for.

I'm going to be busy for quite a while now, and can't do anything like this, so I guess there ain't gonna be a round two.

If you still havent done anything from the first round, I guess there isn't much I can say. I tried to send out a gentle reminder, but oh well.

-------

Oh, and can an Elder unsticky this?

15 minutes

A speck of us,

Is lost in dust.

While cold winds may blow,

And time may pass-

Time will forever show,

That the winds will pass.

Being here;

And everywhere-

Means that I am

Nowhere at once.

But it is crystal clear

That there is no one to care.

A young little lamb

Falls victim to trance.

And everyone, of us men

Soon becomes - that which has been.

Time;

A fleeting part of life.

Inevitable;

A savior and doombringer.

Patient;

Yet waiting for no one.

It exists.

Man made a concept-

To which he is a slave.

It exists.

Made to be a measure-

But the units have no base.

Faith;

It lies as it flies.

Spectral;

The best and worst in all.

Unexplained;

But people still believe.

It exists.

Man made a concept-

To which he is a slave.

It exists.

Made to be a measure-

But the units have no base.

This is good, I like how it flows.

Took me a few erad-throughs to get the full meaning, but that's cool.

Welcome back.

Interesting how you took this poem in a (relatively) unexpected direction.

It seems to start off kinda vague, but you wrap it up nicely in the end.

A man of a gloomy nature walks into the empty room and looks around. I sense cold. Darkness dwells here. After his eyes adjust to the dark, he sees the cardboard sign on the door.

Giving the situation a moment of contemplation, he turns on his heel and leaves the room.

OOC:Haven't D&Ded for a REALLY long time, so level six means nothing to me. I'll be a dark cleric of sorts. Human of tall stature. Robes only, no weapons. A cross around his neck which gives some magical protection. Basic healing spells, and control undead. I think that's about it.

More OOC:You have to tell me that you actually start an RP. You *know* I rarely go into the Conservatory unless told to...

The repetiton between first and last lines in each stanza is good, but most effective is the repetition of the third line in each the first two stanzas. The last one deviates from the format, and i think that hurts it a bit. I had trouble following the connection between

But everyone sees I’m a fake

It takes time to get out, I won’t wait

I like this.

I had the title song from "Kill Bill" playing in the background when I read this, and it went well with that tune.

Bang-bang. He shot me down...

A blank room,

Lacking any feeling.

A blank look,

Lacking any meaning.

One debate, with many points.

Two opposing sides.

Three hours of headaches.

Four long speeches.

Five endless rounds.

A fiery locale,

Conveying much feeling.

A fiery glance,

Conveying much meaning.

Endless schedules-

Long-winded babbling-

Hourly agonies-

Opposing emotions-

Entwine into One.

Thanks to Wyvern for being a sound board which I can bounce ideas and revisions off of.

Well, wow. I want to do both an IC and an OOC response to this.

Unfortunately, I only have time for one today. So here goes...

[23:19:03 PM] cyril darkcloud: btw - congratulations

[23:19:13 PM] Vlad: hmm?

[23:19:31 PM] Vlad: on what?

[23:20:02 PM] cyril darkcloud: http://www.patrickdurham.net/themightypen/index.php?showtopic=10701

Yea, that's how I found out.

Stay tuned for a role-played response coming to your area sometime soon

I can't say I know exactly what you're going through, but I can guess.

Not being able to let go of the past is sometimes one of my biggest problems.

I guess all I can say is I hope you enjoyed the movie, and you can always find a friend in me.

-Mike

Vlad was sitting in the same spot where he was last seen in the Cabaret room at the begging of his quest. He still was wearing the same cloak, and had the same drink (a bloody mary) in front of him. The only noticable difference was that he was weary. Vlad got up from his chair, and meandered over to the elevated platform on one side of the room.

"I would like to thank you all for participating in my first attempt at this. I do believe it to be a great success, with the exeption of a few who decided not to let ideas flow. I believe that I have sent my response to people, it could have failed in the mail though. If that is the case resend the unfinished haiku at your leisure.

"I am initiating a second round of haiku writing. This will continue to be an expiriment, so I will try a new method. When you sign up, have a partner who you will write with. I would prefer it be by mutual consent (no rape here ;p). If you are unable, unwilling, or just plain too lazy to find a partner, you may pair with me, or ask to be randomly paired with someone. You can concurrently write as many haikus as you feel up to doing, I will not place the limit of six on myself either.

"These will run until January, and I hope to get more participation. There are some people who I would like to participate, and would be sorely dissapointed if the do not. The haikus this round should be about nature or the seasons. Beyond that I am not placing any restrictions. it should be more difficult than last time, but chalanges make life interesting."

With that, Vlad collapses on the stage and is dragged off to his table.

Tass!!!

Welcome back, dude!

Beautiful.