Loki Wyrd Posted September 4, 2003 Report Share Posted September 4, 2003 Beware of Eddie White Beware of him my son For he travels with bad company And carries with him a gun He is a mean and little man As many are you'll find You're better off without his type This you'll come to see in time He shot a man on Main Street In the darkness of the night Like a coward and a villain Is this Eddie White There are many in this world, I fear Of whom I would not have you meet Sooner spit upon you standing there And take the shoes right off your feet But I would have you show compassion And be kind through all your days The world needs more goodness More kindness, and more grace I can not make you any promises That your life shall treat you right But if you lead a good one You've already beaten Eddie White I don't know where this came from, though I think I like it. I'm not satisfied with the final line though. Any suggestions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lashienne Andvari Posted September 4, 2003 Report Share Posted September 4, 2003 I really liked this poem, it has a positive message. It also reminds me of someone else's writing but I can't think of the name.... *shrugs*. Anyway, great work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted September 4, 2003 Report Share Posted September 4, 2003 I hear music as I read this. suggested last line, You're better off than Eddie White. It's pieces like this which make me wish I had more time to spend at the Pen reading... -Peredhil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parmenion Posted September 6, 2003 Report Share Posted September 6, 2003 But lad, if you lead a good one You have beaten Eddie White My suggestion. Damn good read! Flowed very nicely I thought. Well done man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Wyrd Posted September 13, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 13, 2003 Thanks for your replies and suggestions. I shall take them into consideration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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