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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

And Now for Something - Different


Wyvern

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Ephemeron

 

Noticing Arawn playing with the ground which has become water, Ephemeron stoops down, wanting to have some of the fun. He taps the water, but suddenly, the consistency of the ground changes... into a bouncy house!

 

Ephemeron hits the ground, but then bounces up into the air. As he falls towards the ground again, the hit causes everyone to bounce up. This continues on for a little while, and Ephemeron becomes dizzy at all the bouncing.

 

The ground suddenly returns to a more solid consistency, and Ephemeron lays on the ground. He looks up, but all he can see are a mass of sheep falling down upon him.

 

Splat

 

"Owwww......"

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Wyvern

 

Suddenly, for only a split second, our hero's find themselves in a parallel universe.

 

That split second is a strange one indeed:

 

Wyvern is a charming and soothfull person who never loses his temper and is kind to geese.

 

Arawn has no interest in chasing women what-so-ever.

 

Destructo is contantly making moves towards Willamina.

 

Ephemeron is hated by all sheep.

 

StMichael has his goatee, and dosen't take excessive amounts of time to ponder over stupid, trivial questions.

 

The Goose of Redemption becomes the Goose of Destruction, and wreaks havok.

 

Willamina becomes a princess who can take care of herself and never asks for anyones help.

 

Lord Dreadfull becomes Lord Peacefull, a person who would never harm a soul.

 

Fortunatly, the parallel universe only lasts for a split second, after which our friends revert to their regular state.

 

"That was WEIRD! Don't worry Willamina! Everything will be al..."

 

Willamina slaps Wyvern again.

 

Wyvern turns to his freinds. "Listen" he says, "I know how to defeat Timmy, and will tell you how to do so. But only under one condition: you must get Willamina to like me!"

 

Now, Wyverns freinds were faced with their most difficult task yet...

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Arawn

 

"You're kidding right?" Arawn laughs "I mean you would let the world go to heck if you don't get a girl? And I thought I was shallow." At this point Arawn rushes for Willmania making sure there are no sheep to stop him, he gasps the ground is covered with sheep. Sure enough everyone is knee high in sheep, making it very difficult to. Arawn falls over and and lands on the sheep. "Stupid sheep." Arawn stands " I can't take too much more of this, if you want her so bad why not a spell, I mean we are mages. I think I have a love potion around here." Diving into his robes he produces a small bottle with a number 9 on it. "Okay Wyvern you stand here right across from her and I spray her." As Arawn moves towards the princess but then trips (you guessed it) over a sheep spraying it, and letting the bottle go flying into the air. The magic potion becomes airborne bathing the area. Destructo watches as the princess trips and falls as the mist comes on him, the sheep are drawn to Wyvern and goose is drawn to StMicheal. Arawn who is face down is not effected and Ephemeron covered in sheep is also not effected. Wyvern does gaze at Willamina but since he already loves her it doesn't do much.

 

(hehehehehehe :D)

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Arawn

 

Fortunately, when the princess fell she shut her eyes, the breath knocked out of her. Arawn quickly tears a pice of his robe and makes a blind fold for Willamina, while StMicheal tries to keep the goose off of him and Wyvern runs from a mob of sheep screaming "Okay, I won't eat another sheep again!" Willamina jerks into a siting position screaming "I'm blind!!!" Rather than take advantage of the pricess Arawn helps her to her feet and dig once more into his robe explaining "You're not blind, I've merely blind folded you" "why?" "Well....er....it's a surprise, we're taking you someplace special." The others mubble in agreement. "Oh goody!" She exclaims "But how will i get there I can't see and I won't be carried by any of you." Arawn rolls his eyes. "Ah here use this cane." he says pulling the long instrument from his robe and setting it in front of her. Blindly she reaches out for it, and no sooner has she put her hand on it than it takes off. The race off towards the east at a fast pace, so fast that the princess it taken off her feet flying throught the air after it, screaming all the way. "Oh now I remember that's not a cane it one of those.....divining rods" he gets blank stares "it finds water, it stop when they his water." "And what if they don't hit water?" ask Wyvern. It's Arawn's turn to look blank, he smiles and takes off after the princess in a dead run, "You guys can go ahead I'll catch up." He stops as he sees something come over the hoizon, it's the princess coming at full speed. Arawn turns in place but trips over a sheep, "Stupid Sheep!!" The rod has made it to his crumpled form only to hit him in the side stopping it completely, making the princess to loose her grip and send her flying into the air only to land in Wyvern's waiting arms. Wyvern looks at the lovely figure resting in his arms, the princess is panting for breath and Wyvern's own breath becomes labored. Slowly he reaches at the blindfold that covers her eyes, the princess flinces at his touch, with two fingers he draws it from her face, just then the goose honks at StMicheal and the princess turns her head, pulling the blindfold off completely her gaze on the goose. (too bad Wyvern you almost had her :D)

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Wyvern

 

"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" screams Wyvern as Willamina falls head over heals in love with some goose. "Willamina, STOP!" but Wyvern's sentance is unfinished as he is smothered by literaly thousands of love-struck sheep.

 

"Help! Ephemeron! I can't breath...*mumble, mumble*"

 

In the mean time, Willamina is chasing the goose which loves StMichael.

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Zool

 

Zool holds out a black t-shirt. It says in large white letters;

 

"I saved the princess, and all I got to show for it is this crummy t-shirt."

 

Hehehe... I'll just save this for later...

 

 

OOC: Now you can't let that happen, can you?

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Ephemeron

 

The pile of sheep have finally thinned out, and Ephemeron is able to stand up. He dusts himself and looks around at the chaos. He rummages through his coat and pulls out his staff.

 

"What good is that going to do?" Wyvern gasps as the sheep are smothering him.

 

"Watch!" Ephemeron says, and he pounds the ground with the end of the staff. Instantly, all the sheep get off of Wyvern and return to Ephemeron. Further off, the goose also stops chasing StMichael. Princess Willamina, however, quickly picks it up and caresses it.

 

"How'd you make the sheep and goose stop?"

 

"Its a Staff of Animal Taming! All high level shepherds have that ability." Ephemeron replies. But now, he looks worriedly at Princess Willamina, trying to figure out how to make her come to her senses. "Hmm, maybe a high-power Blinding Flash will snap her back to her senses."

 

Ephemeron walks in front of Willamina and begins casting Blinding Flash. But as he is doing so, Arawn groans as he tries to get up and stumbles into Ephemeron. Ephemeron loses control of the spell, and there is a bright flash of light.

 

"Aaaah!" Ephemeron cries, and steps back dazed, affected by his own spell. "Wow... so many pretty stars..." he says, appearing to the others to be grabbing at thin air. He falls to the ground dizzily.

 

He was successful at getting Willamina out of the trance and she stands there confused, wondering how the goose ended up in her arms again.

 

"Now... where's Destructo?"

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Wyvern

 

"Listen you guys: you may have not gotten Willamina to like me, but you did get her back to normal. For this I am greatfull, so I shall tell you how to defeat Timmy. Timmy's one weakness is his allergies. Attacking him with swords or magic will not even graze him. However, give him even a bit of flower pollen and he will sneeze himself to oblivion! We must try to not kill him though. I mean, he was my old school buddy..."

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Ephemeron

 

Ephemron gets up woozily, and staggers about. "Ooh.. major migraine...". He stumbles about and puts his hand to the wall to stop from falling. However, as he puts his hand to the wall, the panel he is touching sinks into the wall. The floor suddenly gives way, and everyone tumbles down. Ephemeron looks down and notices a lot of crystal. "We've finally found our way back to where we can get to the dragon!" he says before he hits the ground with a thud.

 

"Owww...." Ephemeron turns up and notices everyone else falling and landing around him, except for some of the sheep who seem to be right above him in the air.

 

"Oh no... not again..." he mutters and braces for impact.

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Arawn

 

OOC:Well, Destructo you were supposed to go after the princess, since you did see her as she fell (and because you're the only one not to hit on her.)

 

IC: The impact never comes, Arawn has righted himself and cast a flight spell, the group hovers inches from the sheepard. Slowy they move to one side and land on the ground one by one. Arawn is the last to land his eyes glow crimson,"Enough of this foolishness!!!, his voice booms, "The Dragon will die!!! Arawn let's out a great scream and the cavern rumbles, energy gathers at his hands then expands to cover his body. When the light has cleared he stands wears, brilliant silver armor with a golden sun on the breast, from his back he pulls a sword huge of fire with both hands. The sword flares reaching the ceiling, scorching the roof, then grows shorter again. Arawn then turns and starts down the tunnel, only to trip over a sheep. Armor and sword disappear and Arawn once more is wearing his grey robe. Arawn shakes his head, and notices he's on the ground again "Stupid sheep."

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Ephemeron

 

Ephemeron gets up, relieved at not getting smashed up again by his sheep. "Ok," he says, "we need to get some flower pollen, as Wyvern says that's the way it'll work."

"Hmm.." Ephemeron mutters as he searchs through the pockets of his robes. "Hey, I have some seeds here. Maybe I can cast Plant Growth on these seeds and we can have the flowers necessary!"

 

He quickly sows the seeds into the ground and waves his hand over the ground, casting the spell. There is a faint glow, and Ephemeron takes his hand away, satisfied at completing the spell. He steps back and waits for the flower to grow, but its not. The glow becomes brighter and brighter.

 

"Uh oh," Ephemeron says. "The magic node here is amplifying the spell's effect. Everyone get back!" As everyone runs away from the glow, there is a trembling of the ground. Suddenly, a huge stem shoots out of the ground, growing taller and wider. It shoots up towards the ceiling and blooms. It hits the roof and the impact causes the pollen to loosen and rain down towards the ground.

 

Ahhhh..... chooooooo!!!!!

 

Massive sneezing continues...

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Destructo

 

Destructo is also allergic to pollen and is sneezeing all over the place. He stumbles forward and puts out his arm making sure he dosen`t run into anything. Unfortunatly his hand stops on the princesses left breast and he gets beat down by both wyvern and the princess.

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Ephemeron

 

Aaaahhh-choooo!!! Sniff... sniff..

 

"Whoa... major allergies...," Ephemeron mutters as he staggers about the room. He walks next to the stem puts his hand against it for support, staying away from the rest so as not to get a beating from Wyvern. Abruptly, and rather suddenly, Ephemeron goes into another sneeze session, and accidently bonks his head against the stem. The sudden jolt, however, releases another wave of pollen down upon Ephemeron.

 

"Hoo boy...."

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StMichael

 

Every member of the party is struck with such sneezing fits that they are all completely immobile.

 

Meanwhile, StMichael is stuck in the room with weird doors. He was left behind while pondering. Suddenly, he figures it out! "Woodchucks don't chuck wood!" he sings with great vibrato.

 

Looking around for the guys, StMichael hears muffled cries of distress. No, sounds like sneezing, he thinks. As Pop-eye chases Betty Boop, StMichael casts a scrying mirror to find his lost companions.

 

Suddenly it all becomes clear, the party is surrounded in pollen. StMichael is their only hope. Fortunately, StMichael brought some Flonaze. Now, where is that door to the underground?....

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Zool

 

From far down the cavern, they hear an ominous sound;

 

"Ah... ah... ah... Ahhhhh - Chooooooooooo!!"

 

The ground rumbled. Everyone was tossed about as a geological shock wave went underfoot "Whoomp!"

 

Then silence... Everyone strained at the silence, even managing to withold sneezing for a moment, when echoing from far down the cavern they heard;

 

"One for the money."

"Two for the show."

"Three to get ready now Go man Go! Now baby, don't step on my blue suede shoes!"

 

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah - Chooooooooooooo!" Another shock wave rolled undergroung, tossing everyone into the air again as they simultaneously erupted into sneezing fits of their own.

 

"Houston, we have a problem," our heroes heard echoing down the cavern, and then again, "Aaaaaaaaaaaah - Choooooooooooo!" BY now they were used to the rolling motion of the cavern floor. Somehow, it even made their own sneezing attacks seem a little less of a problem.

 

From ahead in the cavern came bounding a fat purple dinosaur who was getting chunks of his flesh dug out by a man with horrible acne and a fedora, and razor blades for finger nails. "No Freddy no, I love you, you love me!" screamed the purple dinosaur, as his head parted ways from his body. Freddy gave out an evil cackle of pure joy.

 

Behind them came running a tidal wave of lawyers, and politicians, and telemarketers. "Noooooooooooo!" screamed Ephemeron. "This could truly be the end of Terra!"

 

Lord Dreadful, who was still bouncing from wall to wall in the shockwaves from the dragon's sneezes, said, "He's in the (Ouch!) tunnel just ahead (Oof!). He's been immobilized by the (Ack!) sneezing, now we need someone to (Argh) put the goose behind him and (Oh, sorry) give the command to (Well! I say...) Give him the Goose!"

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Wyvern

 

Wyvern was sneezing with everyone else until he realized an interesting fact: he was unallergic to pollen!

 

"Well guys, here's the line which seperates the men from the Wyvern... the moment of truth." Tears swelled in Wyvern's eyes. He realized that he was the only one capable of bringing Timmy to his knees. He took the large flower and placed it on his back. Pollen stopped coming out, and the sneezing fits also stopped. Wyvern turned to Ephemeron, tears streaming down his cheeks:

 

"Well, this is *sob* goodbye Ephemeron. Take good care of your sheep for me *sniffle*. We may never see each other again!" With that, Ephemeron too began to cry, heartbroken at seeing Wyvern leave.

 

"Arawn, remember me whenever you chase women *sob*!" With this remark, geysers of tears shot from Arawn's eyes and he found himself weeping with Ephemeron.

 

"Destructo *sob* we were never good friends, but I'll miss you!" Destructo also began to cry.

 

"StMichael, wherever you are, I'm *sob* sorry for your goatee!" StMichael found himself crying amongst the others. \

 

"Willamina...

 

...

 

....

 

...NICE ASS!!!"

 

With that remark, Willamina hit Wyvern so hard, he flew all the way into Timmy's lair and directly into the jaws of the yawning beast. He was swallowed whole by Timmy!

 

OOC:how's that for a dramatic moment?! LOL.

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Ephemeron

 

*Sob* *sniff* ...

 

"What a brave lad," Ephemeron managed to say, recovering from his sneezing. "He went down there all by himself. Wait a minute... where's the flower?? The dragon swallowed the flower with Wyvern?"

 

Ephemeron wiped his nose and looked around at the other guys, who nodded in agreement. "Uh oh... that's going to cause some major ingestion. Run for your lives!"

 

As he said that, there was a rumbling that began to shake the walls of the caverns. The remaining members of the party made a mad rush towards the exit of the cave...

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Destructo

 

Destructo, leading the party back through the halls, slams directly into a solid wall. "Hmm.......this wasn`t here before" he thought as the rest of the party came crashing into him. "Guys this is now a dead end where do we go now?"

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Ephemeron

 

"We've been trapped in!" Willamina wailed. Everyone began pounding the walls, looking for some way to exit the cave.

 

But, it was too late. For down the hallway, the rumbling stopped, and they heard a very loud noise, the grandest fart among farts. :D It felt like a rumbling crescendo. The walls shuddered. Chips of stone from the cavern ceiling fell.

 

"I never knew it could be that strong..."

 

Unexpectedly, the gas soon reached our travelers. The stench was absolutely nauseating. Ephemeron began to feel dizzy, and fell towards the ground. Everything became black...

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StMichael

 

After everything turned black (much to Ephemeron's surprize), the cavern was absolutely impossible to navigate. Black walls, black rocks, black here, black there, everywhere a black, black...uh, StMichael sits down alone. How could the party just leave him?(see previous StMichael post)

 

StMichael ponders as a black breeze brazenly blows, biting his nose with a frigid chill. And suddenly the dastardly deed was done, stench filled the empty darkness of StMichael's corridor. And StMichael's bones lay there to this day.

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