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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

And Now for Something - Different


Wyvern

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Destructo

 

OOC:hey wyvern we gonna be allys or what? i just finished researching my spells this morning and i`m ready to kick some a$$.

 

IC:With a hasty "hello" Destructo drops down on Wyverns ship and they cooperate dispelling all the elementals. they kick back and relax in the boat when Destructo questions "Why exactly did you ditch us in the first place?"

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Zool

 

Wyvern was crossing the lake, when suddenly he is fighting for his life. The boat rocks and water sprays everywhere as the extra large water elemental displays his anger.

 

Then Wyvern sees a flash of white light in the water. Instantly the boat ceases to rock. The water becomes calm. The flash of light under the water becomes a glow, which gradually becomes brighter and brighter. As the light brightens, Wyvern begins to hear angels singing, louder and louder. The water becomes calmer, flatter. As the light brightens to an intensity rivalling the sun, as the angellic voices singing reach a crescendo, as the water becomes as flat as a sheet of glass, he sees something coming to the surface of the lake.

It is a beautiful woman, holding something high in her arms. Clothed in shimmering moss, radiating a powerful light, she speaks. She is holding...

A goose.

 

"I am the lady of the lake. This is Honker, the Goose of Redemption. Use him wisely, only when you are in your greatest peril, and he shall serve you well."

 

As the goose flapped into Wyvern's boat, the Lady of the Lake slaps Wyvern's outstretched claws. "Don't eat him, this is a very special Goose!" she scolded. Then she sank below the surface without a trace.

 

"Honk!" said the goose, and pooped on the seat next to Wyvern.

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StMichael

 

StMichael is dumb-founded, he has just witnessed the occurence of parallel dimensions. A voice comes form the water, "Come, learn the secrets of the water."

 

As StMichael reaches the water's edge, he suddenly feels the sharp pain of a bat hitting him in the back of the head. As he lays there, inconcious, Ephemeron appears, "You weren't supposed to see that."

 

What will happen to our hero? Which is the true reality of the water battle? Who is Ephemeron? What is so great about Willamina?

 

Tune in next time...*click*

StMichael turns off the radio and sits in his chair wondering:

 

What will happen to our hero? Which is the true reality of the water battle? Who is Ephemeron? What is so great about Willamina?

 

Tune in next time...*click*

StMichael turns off the radio and sits in his chair wondering:

 

What will happen to our hero? Which is the true reality of the water battle? Who is Ephemeron? What is so great about Willamina?

 

Tune in next time...*click*

StMichael turns off the radio and sits in his chair thinking:

 

Dejavu!

 

When he gets up to make some coffee, he slips on the wet tile floor and passes out.

 

When he awakens, a lamb, Destructo, Zool and Wyvern are standing over him...

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Ephemeron

 

As StMichael awakens, Wyvern and Destructo turn towards Ephemeron and ask, "Who are you?"

 

Ephemeron, holding his shepherd's cane, begins his little tale:

"I am Ephemeron, originally a mage of great power. I've lived at the castle here for many years, alone. This is my place of meditation. And, this is where I train my elite flock of sheep! No mage has ever come here until now. How did you guys manage to get here?"

 

As Ephemeron listens to their story about Willamena, he ponders and thinks. "Yes, that would make sense. Recently, there have been great disturbances around here. I believe it is because the magic node within the mountain is leaking magic power, and is about to break down. This leakage is what is causing disturbances and illusions within the lake recently. That is also perhaps where this Willamena came from. It is likely a spirit that has been released and is gaining power from the node leak. We must stop this spirit before it gains too much power!"

 

As StMichael gets up, Ephemeron apologizes, "Sorry, but I feared for the safety of my little lamb and didn't want you to hurt it. Here, I'll heal you."

 

As Ephemeron calls upon his ancient magic and heals StMichael's wounds, Destructo and Wyvern ponder what Ephemeron has just said...

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StMichael

 

"I say we get some grub first." StMichael eyes the tiny lamb. With the knob on the back of his head begining to throb, StMichael starts to think otherwise.

 

Looking to the East, he sees a mountain range. At the base is a huge black forest. Eary sounds can be heard coming from it though it is miles away. The peaks are not visible as clouds crown the mountains. Snow is constantly falling from the clouds.

 

Suddenly there is a golden light above the mountains. It takes the shape of the Holy Grail...

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Ephemeron

 

All of the mages turn towards the light, but then Ephemeron turns back towards his sheep. They do not seem to notice the light. With their 100% psychic resistance, they have seen the light to be but an illusion.

 

Ephemeron smiled, happy that he can use his sheep as a guide in this now illusion-ridden place.

 

"That light is only an illusion guys...", Ephemeron says, lightly bonking each of the others, taking their eyes off the light. "Why don't we head up the mountain towards my castle? You guys can get some rest there"

 

And they start off, led by the dependable sheep, towards the forest en route to the castle...

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StMichael

 

"Ephemeron!" comes a voice from the clouds. The hills shake and trees sway with the words of God. Then the clouds part and God's face appears, glaring at the party.

 

As God stared at our heros, they suddenly became aware of the illusionary powers of sheep. A bolt of lightning strikes Ephemeron for his naivety.

 

Then StMichael falls on the ground, "God! You are the greatest..." God interupts, "Oh stop that, get up!"

"Sorry, m'lord"

"And don't apologize."

"Right, sorry."

"What are you doing?"

"Averting my eyes Lord."

"Well stop it."

"Yes m'Lord, sorry"

"You must find the Holy Brail!"

"Holy Brail?"

"Yes, so the blind may see, idiot!"

God leaves.

 

"Right!" StMichael says as Ephemeron dusts off, "Lets go!"

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Ephemeron

 

OOC: Oops, sorry! You guys take the lead then. I'm not very familiar with Monty Python

 

IC:

"Wow...", Ephemeron remarks, getting up slowly. "I still have some electric charge in me from that bolt!" And he begins running about, giving each other hero a taste of electric shock.

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Zool

 

Just then all the mages heard the clop-clopping of horses, and turned to see the strange site of a group of knights prancing toward them and holding their arms up as if they were holding reighns. behind each knight was a lackey clapping the halves of coconuts together.

 

"Whoa!" said the lead knight, who had a crown on his head. The group stopped. "Hello travellors," He went on. "We are the knights of the round table, on our way to Camelot. We..."

 

"Do you know where we could get a shrubbery?" asked one of the knights.

 

"What's your favorite color?" asked another.

 

"Ni!" exclaimed a third.

 

They all looked at each other, then looked behind our group of heros and screamed. "Aaaaaaaagh!"

 

"Run away! Run away!" yelled the lead knight, as they all broke ranks and ran for all they were worth the other way.

 

StMicheal, Ephemeron, and Destructo looked behind them. There in the road ahead of them, sitting quietly, was a cute little white bunny rabbit.

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Ephemeron

 

As they looked at this little rabbit, Ephemeron looks around and realize his sheep have scattered.

 

"Stupid knights!", Ephemeron exclaims. He makes gestures and sounds, which brings his sheep back. Looking towards where the knights ran off to, Ephemeron makes another gesture, and his sheep run off in that direction, about to trample the knights into the dust.

 

Meanwhile, as the heroes looked back towards the rabbit...

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Destructo

 

"ahhh.....the rabbit beast" screams Destructo, "Wyvern toss me the holy hand grenade of antiarch"

 

Wyvern, dumb as he is, pulls the pin and throws the grenade at Destructo.

 

"Ahhhhhhh" He shouts. Then he realizes that you have to count before you throw it. Wipes the sweat off his forehead and begins counting.

 

"One, Two, Five" says Destructo.

 

"No, three sir" interjects Wyvern.

 

"Whatever" Yells Destructo as he hurls the grenade at the rabbit, roasting it alive.

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Ephemeron

 

"Wow, roast rabbit!", Ephemeron exclaims. He motions his sheep back, who decide to have a nice feast on this freshly cooked meat.

 

The others watch in disgust as the sheep prove to be carnivorous, and they wonder what exactly happened with those knights Ephemeron told his sheep to trample...

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Zool

 

Just then the hiss of another incoming arrow is heard. This time everyone just looks up, used to the odd arrow coming in for a landing as a matter of course.

 

The arrow lands squarely in one of the sheep, putting that sheep 'legs' up. After turning the sheep on it's side, Ephemeron retreives the message and reads;

 

Hi guys,

 

I am Lord Dreadful, the previous villain in this story, who has been holding Princess Willamina against her will.

Nothing personal, it was just to kill time, really. :)

Anyway, I had been conducting some experiments on Dragons using the Magic node of the mountain, and my last experiment went horribly wrong. This is a little embarressing, but I'm an Archmage in distress, and I need you to save me. My entire kingdom has been taken over by a Magic (That's right, Magic) Breathing Dragon. He wields horrible power on the mountain, and will be a formidable opponent. One never knows what to expect when one of his fiery blasts of magic is released. Only the most powerful wizards should attempt to defeat him, but unfortunately you are the only mages in the area, so good luck. ;)

He is also, of course, now holding Princess Willamina, a very beautiful Princess I might add. So, if you don't want to help me, there is Princess Willamina to consider...

 

Sincerely,

Lord Dreadful

 

PS: No, Princess Willamina, I will not add "Hi Mom" for you. Back to your Boudoir'. No, I can't summon any more Ball gowns for you, my power is gone. Back! No Bon Bons for you either! No, I CAN'T MOVE THE CASTLE FOR YOU! Go To Your ROOM! Why am I transcribing this?? It's the power of the magic breathing dragon! Aargh! I must send the message now, before anything else is said...

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Wyvern

 

OOC: Sorry guys, I've been on vacation! Destructo, I'll write you...

 

IC: The mountains? Lord Dreadfull?! Magic Breathing Dragon?!! The Princess?!!! Adventure?!!!! Well.... O.K. You guys, I'm touched that you've all joined me in my journey. I would just like you to know that through the good and the bad, the calm and the rough, PRINCESS WILLAMINA IS MINE!!!!!

 

You can have Lord Dreadfull though...

 

With that, Wyvern eats three sheep and leads his companions to the city...

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Ephemeron

 

"Aaahh!", Ephemeron yells, as Wyvern eats his sheep. "Next time, eat the ones back there, " he says, pointing towards the back of the flock. "The ones back there are better to eat. The ones up here are the ones I train more!"

 

Wyvern agrees, and they continue on their journey...

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Wyvern

 

Wyvern and his friends continue their journey to what will from now on be refered to as "Lord Dreadfull's Town".

 

They travel for a few days, laughing amongst themselves and making cruel remarks about Lord Dreadfull and the magic-breathing dragon. Then, they come to (cue scary music) MOUNT DREADFULL! This mountain is one of the many thing's which seperates Lord Dreadfull's Town from the rest of the world.

 

Wyvern looks to his companions and says, "Well guys, now the going gets tough. Anybody who has the slightest fear of dying had best turn back now!"

 

Non of Wyvern's friends leave (With the exception of StMichael, who is held from running away by Destructo and Ephemeron).

They aproach the gate of the mountain when suddenly, an old gypsy woman comes outside to greet the travelers.

 

"To enter this gate, you must each answer a question which reflects upon your soul" she says in a rapsady old voice, "who shall be the first contestant?"

 

OOC: No referance to Monty Python intended, lol.

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