Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 A brief note before I begin archiving this ancient thread... this was originally a solo story written by Zool, but it evolved into a roleplaying thread that Zool hosted and several people participated in. The thread features some of my earliest internet writing, which was awful to the extent that it's seriously embarrassing... ;p Never the less, notice how Zool and others supported the writing despite it's mediocre nature. Their acceptance and willingness to play along with me motivated me to continue posting, and I think that I've slightly improved since then... ;p Anyway, memories of the thread still evoke smiles from me, so I thought we should have it archived here for safe-keeping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Zool Rich wood paneling, shelves of books, and dramatic tapestries hanging from the walls reflect the warm light emanating from the fireplace. In the center of the library is a table laden with pictures and artifacts from far off times and far flung places. In front of the fireplace is an overstuffed Victorian chair. In the chair is Zool, wearing a large red smoking jacket, black pajamas trimmed in red, and slippers. He is reading a large Tome and smoking an ornate wood pipe. He looks up from his book and puts it down. “Good Evening. We have a special surprise for you tonight on Magepiece theater. To give credit to all the literary genius represented in the halls of the conservatory, I shall endeavor to lend them a little perspective with this contrasting piece. It has no plot, no point, and no theme. Will it be bad enough? Will it rivet your attention with a sense of horror at what you are witnessing? Will anybody care? Watch tonight and see, Something – Different. Tap tap tap. “Zool?” Grimmael knocked softly. No answer. He opened the door and entered anyway, carrying a silver tray with Zool’s breakfast. “Get up, get up, it’s time to get up in the castle!” A familiar figure lay in bed. Black leather trimmed in red, an enormous head of matted black hair, and something new, cool black sunglasses. “I’m not here,” he said. “You slept in your armor again. And you know Wednesday is the day it is sent out to be deloused. Eat this, you’ll feel better.” Zool didn’t move. Instead he said, “I had another dream last night.” “Really? You know, you should forget those silly dreams…” *Insert wavy ‘dream sequence’ visual effect. Zool’s voice narrates the scenes shown before you.* “I dreamed about a child riding his bicycle in the park. I was there with my parents. The child is just riding along, when suddenly the bicycle sprouts a propeller out of it’s back. It starts spinning at a tremendous speed. It makes a lot of noise. The bicycle heads into the pond. The child only goes about 6 feet before it spins out of control and dumps her and the bike into the water. The child cries out in shock and alarm, the bike flopping around madly, spraying water all over. It seems the child loses a finger in the propeller, but it’s hard to tell. My father and I jump into the water. He grabs the child, but has to wrestle the bike to keep either of them from being injured as they try to get away. I find a large wooden beam and run over. My father steadies the bike as I apply the beam to the madly spinning propeller. Wood chips fly as if from a buzz saw. The propeller begins to slow, eating the beam like a breadstick. My beam had been whittled down to a stick, but we have the bicycle up on shore now and the blades of the propeller are nearly gone. With all the strength I can muster, I jam the stick down onto the battered propeller. It buzzed like a mad bee, then slowly stopped. The danger passed.” *Wavy lines dissolve you back to the bedroom.* Grimmael said nothing, only eyed Zool with his one good eye, contemplating his prospects of finding a sane Mage. It didn’t look good. Zool continued. “Reminds me of a dream I’ve had several times before. Want to here it?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “I’ve had several dreams about large machines. In the dreams, I get the impression they have great power. I usually hear a loud hum emanating from within the machine. Great electrical connections run into it, and massive sophisticated apparatus dominate the internals. Somewhere deep inside is a chair, which seems to be the focal point of the apparatus. As I sit into it, I feel the machine surge, building up power. But then, it stops. Something is missing.” “Some screws?” interjects Grimmael. “No,” said Zool, unperturbed, “Some small but crucial bit of the apparatus. I can see where it plugs in. It is there that the dream ends. Rather silly, don’t you think?” Grimmael didn’t answer right away. After thinking it over he said, “Beautiful day, isn’t it,” indicating the open window. As Zool looked out the window, Grimmael drops the grapefruit from his tray onto the floor and scoots it under the bed. “Poor Zool,” thought Grimmael, “Citric acid has eaten his brain…” Perhaps I should ask an expand,” said Zool. “A what?” “An expand.” “A what?” repeated Grimmael. “An expand. You know, I could tell him my dreams and he could tell me what it’s about.” “Oh, you mean a shrink!” “Good heavens no! Why should I call a shrink when I want an expand?” Ba-dump bump! “Did you hear a drum?” asked Grimmael curiously. “That’s the ‘Drums of Mirth’. Remind me to stock up.” Grimmael made a note of that. “That reminds me!” said Zool, leaping out of bed. “I have something special to give you. Zool searches under his bed. He pulls out half a dozen moldy grapefruit halves before producing a white T-shirt. He held it up for Grimmael to see. “What do you think?” Grimmael eyed it suspiciously. “It’s a T-shirt.” “I made it just for you, Grimmael.” “You made it?” “Well, the message.” Grimmael said nothing, but inspected the T-shirt closely. It was an ordinary, blank T-shirt. “Message…?” he said meekly, almost afraid to ask. “Oh Grimmael, don’t be such a block head! This is the ultimate message of infinite possibility!” “But it doesn’t say anything…” “Exactly!” Grimmael froze for a second before shouting out, “Cool!” and then CLANKed Zool over the head as hard as he could with the silver serving tray, mangling the poor tray ruthlessly. ‘This is for your own good,’ thought Grimmael as he ran to get some rope. THE END. We sincerely apologize to anyone who took the time to read this. -The Management Sometimes a cigar IS a phallic symbol. -Grimmael I smoke a pipe. -Zool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Runamok Booo! You have certainly reached a new low in storytelling, Zool. A red smoking Jacket? Disconnected dream sequences? ‘Drums of Mirth’? Yeeaach! Also, I’ll take my side-kick back, thank you! Grimmael disapears in a cloud of blue smoke. Bound and gagged, Zool struggles in his chair, his eyes widening in alarm. “Mmmf, mmmf, angh mmf!” he says. And sometimes a cigar is JUST a cigar. -Runamok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Dr. Evil ---I, for one, rather enjoyed that story. Dr. Evil appears in a cloud of smoke and then tosses the still-going Party Smoke Bomb into the corner. He then cuts Zool loose, lights another smoke bomb, and tosses it on the floor. "Now it is time to make my exit!" says the doctor. "Bwa ha ha! Bwa ha ha ha haaaa! " The smoke dissapitates. Dr. Evil stands exactly where he was. "Hmmm. . .Zool looks up and draws a sword to kill this intruder, but before he has a chance, Dr. Evil beats him with Tesla's Ugly stick and runs away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Zool Zool is contemplating his predicament. Bound and gagged in his own castle, our hero struggles with the rising pressure in his bladder... Suddenly a cloud of smoke appears. It's Dr. Evil! Saved! Laughing maniacally, Dr. Evil cuts Zool loose, then lights another smoke bomb. Zool looks around wondering why all the smoke. Are they under attack? The smoke begins to clear. Dr. Evil is standing there, obviously waiting for Zool to get with the program. Zool draws his sword. "Thwack!" The sound of the ugly stick on Zools cranium resounds in the small room. He falls to the floor stunned, his mind swimming in blackness. Some time later he begins to regain consciousness in the empty room. There was something else, something urgent, but it is gone now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Wyvern I agree with Runamuck. That story is TERRIBLE! There is to much attention devoted to Zool and not enough to me! O.K, let's start over... Wyvern is sitting in his quarters in a smoking leather jacket... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Zool Suddenly Wyvern jumps up and grabs a pitcher of water from a nearby table, and pours it over his head. "My God! My jacket was smoking!" he exclaims. He then hears the unmistakable hiss of an incoming arrow. He falls to the floor just as it flies in the open window and 'thunk's into the wall where he had been standing. Retreiving the message he reads: Help! I am a damsel in distress, and am being held against my will. I had a dream that you saved me, though I still can't figure out what the chipmunk was doing in the accordion. Please save me. I'm in the second castle to the left, in the upper right hand tower, the one with the long blonde hair flowing out the window. Signed, Princess Willamina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Wyvern Now THAT's more like it! I didn't like the part were I poured water onto myself and got hurt, but my very own damsal in distress?! ALLRIIIIGGHHTTT!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Zool Well... Go get her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Wyvern Wyvern rushes to the second castle to the left (more specifacly the upper right-hand tower of that castle). Willamina, Willamina, let down your hair... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Zool Wyvern strains to see up the sheer side of the tower. A brilliant golden light dazzles his eyes for a second. When his vision clears, he sees beautiful sweet smelling golden tresses flowing down to the ground for him to climb up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 StMichael Wyvern scrambles up the hair. As it turns out, its not a damsel in destress, its StMichael and his goatee got stuck in the fax machine. "Help me!" he cries as flying monkeys begin to circle the tower. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Zool Did I say second castle to the left? I meant second castle to the right! Fortunately the Monkey King, who is in the doorway, is laughing so hard at St Micheal's goatee and the look on Wyvern's face that he can't order his flying monkeys to attack. Wyvern gives the fax machine, a relic of the age of science, a sting with his tail, and StMichael escapes minus most of his goatee, which they both quickly climb down in search of the correct castle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Wyvern StMichael, I just want you to know that when we get to the second castle on the right, only one person's going to climb Willamina's hair, and thats ME! (Sorry about your goatee) Wyvern snatches a flying monkey that is still pestering him and eats it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Zool Actually, I thought it was pretty funny. Anyway, onward to the castle! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Wyvern Wyvern begins walking to the correct castle, his mind on Willamina all the while! Wyvern, and his faithfull companian, StMichael, walk for about 2 hours and have not yet found the castle. StMichael, who has followed wyvern all this way, begins to have his doughts. "Are you SURE we're going in the right direction?!" he asks. "Shut up!" says wyvern, "I know my way around these kingdoms! Oh...Willamina! How I long for... O.K StMichael. We should be reaching the mountain on which the tower is positioned now..." But StMichael didn't see a mountain. StMichael saw a lake... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Zool Just then Wyvern and StMichael heard the hiss of another incoming arrow. They both hit the dirt. The arrow went into the ground between them. "It must be from Princess Willamina!" said Wyvern. Unrolling the message, he read; "I am now being held in the castle across the lake, next to the mountain. I had a few things moved around because the afternoon sun wasn't reflecting into the window onto my favorite table the right way, but it's okay now, my grandmothers vase has the softest golden hue... Oh please hurry, I can't stand this imprisonment! Kiss kiss, Princess Willamina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Destructo Out of the woods behind them they hear a rustling sound. They both spin fast and Wyverns look of surprise dissapears when he realizes who it is, but St Micheal had never seen the guy before and before Wyvern could stop him he ran at Destructo sword held high. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Wyvern "heh heh!" thought wyvern as Destructo and StMichael battled, "now's my chance! Princess Willamina will be MINE! ALL MINE!" Wyvern then took the only boat parked in the harbor and began to sail across the lake... "To Willamiiina, ho!" little did wyvern know of the horrors the depths of this lake held... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Ephemeron As Wyvern sailed across the lake, he noticed the water churning around him. Before he could do anything, several Water Elementals rose out from the lake and surrounded him. Ephemeron watched from across the lake as he continued to fish. He was too far away to understand the true peril of the situation. "Wow," he thought, "that guy on the boat must be an awesome fisherman, to be able to snag a Water Elemental!" Ephemeron was so awed by the site of rising water in the middle of the lake that he did not notice the water rippling close to his feet... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Destructo OOC:Wyvern i was supposed to be an ally not someone to steal the princess off you, I hope it turns out to be a man lol. IC:St. Micheal and Destructo are still locked in battle when they realized the`ve been ditched. Destructo exaustedly says "Why exactly were we fighting anyways?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 StMichael "Oh, I'm sorry, terribly sorry. Sometimes I just get carried away. You know how it is, monkeys flying around you when your goatee is stuck in the fax machine. These things will happen. I'm so sorry, here let me take my sword out of your leg. I don't suppose you could get you hellhound to loosen its grip on my butt, could you?" After StMichael and Destructo disentangle, they notice a struggle in the lake. "Hey," cries StMichael, "that looks like Wyvern in that boat. Is that a water elemental?" Destructo and StMichael ponder the outcome of the water battle for exactly 4.36 minutes. Then StMichael casts flying on the two and they safely cross the waters. "Hey, Wyvern! Stop fooling around, I forgot the directions." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Ephemeron Ephemeron feels a tingling around his feet, and notices a small school of giant fish swimming about. He quickly nets a few and puts them away. As he does so, he notices two mages fly across the lake and call out to the person in the boat. Ah, so its a mage in the lake, not a fisherman, Ephemeron thinks. Not having seen any mages around these parts for a long time, Ephemeron becomes decidedly interested in them. He returns to his giant flock of sheep grazing nearby and quietly calls them. As the mages talk by the lakeside, Ephemeron watches from afar, among his sheep... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 StMichael As Destructo and StMichael wait for Wyvern to stop playing with the cute little water elemental, StMicahel hears the bleeting of sheep in the distance. With a quick look at his crystal ball, he sees a shepard looking strait at him. Shocked, StMichael drops the crystal ball shattering it on the ground. "Destructo," StMichael says, "has anyone ever looked back at you in a crystal ball?" "No, they don't work that way. Only the user can see anything." "That's what I thought. Just now when I used the crystal ball, a shepard was looking at me." "That's impossible." "I need some coffee." Just then a new-born lamb wobbles over to StMichael... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2003 Ephemeron Hearing StMichael drop his crystal ball, Ephemeron realizes that he perhaps has been spotted. He begins to cast a silencing spell, to stop his sheep from their constant bleeting, and continues watching from among his sheep, but then he sees that one of his baby lambs has wandered towards the strangers. Ephemeron curses silently at disobedient sheep that would stray from the flock, but continues to watch to see what will become of that lamb... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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