Parmenion Posted June 23, 2003 Report Share Posted June 23, 2003 This was written by a friend of mine who I hope will be joining us soon. She has just started writing recently and wanted some feedback so all comments are appreciated. Standing in a dark black tunnel, Not a flicker of light in sight, The walls are cold and damp, She stands there dressed in white. Her breathing becomes heavy, Feeling trapped between these walls, With no escape, nowhere to run, Her voice echoes as she calls. She wonders why she's here, Frightened and alone, Nobody ever told her, She'd be going on her own. They said it would be peaceful, Her pain would go away, They told her they would be there, They would help her find her way. The tunnel now seems blacker, She remembers years gone by, Memories of a pain she caused, She question's herself "why"? Her surroundings now seem brighter, She knows now why she's here, She turns back to change the past, And wipes away the final tear. ~~Laura~~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopperWolf Posted June 26, 2003 Report Share Posted June 26, 2003 Your friend has a wonderful narrative style to her work that is compelling. I would enjoy seeing more if there is some, and convey my praise to her, it is an excellent piece Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sorciere Posted June 27, 2003 Report Share Posted June 27, 2003 Created clear visions in my head, ask her to write more i really liked it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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