'Duality'

[Yui-chan]

"Just for the record, it was the dustbunnies that gave you away."

 

Adreina blinked, lifting her gaze from the rough path at her feet to squint in puzzlement at the man walking in front of her. "Meh?"

 

The young man laughed, glancing back over his shoulder. "Dustbunnies. You know, the little fuzzy balls of fluff that gather under tables that never move and other furniture in a tavern? They look like little miniature rabbits, all hairy and such..."

 

When she simply shook her head, he rolled his eyes and gave an exasperated sigh. "Provincials." He said it as if that one word encompassed all that was wrong with the girl, but he probably could have provided a longer list if asked.

 

The silence stretched out a few paces before he groaned and turned an annoyed eye back over his shoulder. "Well? Aren’t you going to ask?"

 

Adreina grimaced and closed her eyes for one brief moment, wondering if the man would ever just be silent. She knew better, really, but in the end she just met his gaze coolly and shook her head. It was a very deliberate and probably foolish gesture, but she really didn’t care a whit about his dustbunnies.

 

Of course, he wasn’t overly interested in her opinion, so it didn’t hold much sway over his next words. "They’d moved, ya see."

 

She wondered why he acted as if that explained everything, but she wasn’t about to ask.

 

"Oh, for the love of Baldomir," he exclaimed, stopping short. She nearly ran right into him, but she was lucky enough to stop just in time. "Would you just try to think for one second? Your spot was a good one, but you forgot to take note of the dustbunnies, and you blew them all around whenever you moved. Geez. Just think about that for a second, wouldja? You owe all this to a few piles of fluff and some careless movement."

 

She didn’t want to think about it at all, so instead she dropped her gaze once more to the pebbles at her feet, the weight of inevitability heavy on her frail shoulders. She could feel him staring at her, but she didn’t want to encourage him by looking up. She just wanted to be left alone.

 

"By the—" He cut off the curse, flopping his hands helplessly against his side. "You’re terrible company. Come on." A quick tug had them both moving again, and none too soon for her tastes.

[Yui-chan]

Seven hours later, as the sky darkened into night, Adreina cursed her earlier haste, her every muscle aching. They had not stopped to rest the entire day, and from the looks of her ever-cheerful companion, they would not bother to camp for the night. She wondered if he’d notice, or even care, if she just collapsed to the trammeled ground. She rather thought he wouldn’t.

 

For his part, he still wandered along with a spring in his step, babbling on about this or that, none too particular about the fact that she was neither answering nor listening. He seemed to be excessively fond of the sound of his own voice. It was quite annoying.

 

"You do realize that you’re weaving about like a drunkard, don’t you?" Adreina blinked, noting the change in his tone that heralded his attention on her. She took a few seconds to recall his words.

 

"Gi haivem 'darunkarud' arut’ord souvharen?" She didn’t realize she’d failed to translate her thoughts until he frowned. "Um... What is it a 'drunkard'?"

 

He shook his head. "You really are quite out of your league hereabouts, huh? I’ll never understand how you made it all the way to Madorif as you are." She may not have spoken his language all that clearly, but she certainly understood his tone and the derisive snort that followed. His scorn stung, strangely enough, and the girl found herself looking away from his cool eyes. "A drunkard is someone who’s had too much booze, princess. And you’re looking as unable to walk a straight line as the worst of them. What’s wrong with you, hm?"

 

Adreina could only offer a shrug as an answer, her eyes downcast. She wasn’t about to tell him that she was surely dying from exhaustion, or that she was pretty certain her feet were bleeding in preparation for falling off if they walked another pace. She may not have had much, any more, but she still had far too much pride to mention to this ruffian just how much she was suffering. Then again, she was rather hoping he’d realize for himself.

 

Unfortunately for her, he wasn’t the most observative of creatures. He raised his brows in the classic 'suit yourself' expression, shrugged, and turned back down the path. Adreina didn’t have much choice but to hurry after him, swallowing a grimace as her body protested.

 

"So, how did you make it in this far, anyway, princess? Did you have contacts along the way?" He tossed the questions casually over his shoulder, but she wasn’t fool enough to miss the weight behind them. Here was a dangerous subject.

 

"Nai." She didn’t need to translate, nor did she intend to elaborate.

 

"I seriously doubt that, ya know? You’re not exactly built for the kind of journey it must have been." He stopped once again, turning the full measure of his gaze on her as if he could bore the truth out of her head with his eyes. She wasn’t sure that his kind couldn’t. "We could talk about it over a campfire and some dinner, if ya wanted to cooperate."

 

Perhaps he wasn't as unobservant as he seemed. The offer set Adreina's stomach to tying itself in knots as unwanted images of blessed food popped into her head. She barely managed to stand against its sudden cramping, but she did. Unfortunately, her face was a little more expressive. She knew she’d made the mistake of showing her pain when that arrogant smirk slid across his lips.

 

"Yeah, I figured you might be a touch hungry. I don’t imagine you managed much back in Firdlo’s, didja? An’ you such a small thing to begin with." He almost sounded genuinely concerned. She wondered for a few heartbeats if it was possible that he actually was worried for her, nurturing the warmth it brought into the center of her chest. That madness only lasted for a moment, though, before reasoning prevailed. He wanted to know about her journey. The rest was just details to him.

 

Adreina straightened decisively and stared up into his violet eyes. "I be neither hungry nor tired. Walk." She actually managed to look imperious as she gestured coolly to the path stretching out into the darkness before him, a fact that annoyed him greatly and pleased her even more. He knew the lie, of course, but it was a victory for her either way. And she needed whatever victories she could get at this point.

 

"As you wish, princess," he muttered with a mocking little bow, sweeping away with a purposefully long stride. There was always a price for victory, and his grin said she’d paid it as she stumbled along, trying to keep up.

Edited May 2, 2003 by Yui-chan

[Yui-chan]

*******

 

Djaz wasn't pleased to admit it to himself, but five long hours later, he was rather impressed. Despite the pain that was clear in her every step, despite the cold rain that now soaked them, and despite his best efforts to choose the most grueling path for their journey, the girl had neither complained nor stopped during all the day or night. As soft as her kind were purported to be, it was quite a surprise to find such toughness in her. He spent no insignificant amount of time worrying over whether it was a fluke or whether she had other surprises in store for him.

 

Whatever the case, though, he knew their cute little contest of stubborn wills couldn’t continue indefinitely. The journey was neither short nor easy, and if she could stumble forward on shredded feet, so be it, but he was tired and hungry and needing some rest. So what if she 'won'? In the end, he still held the rope that bound her wrists together and he still determined their path to Vhi'darteth. She was definitely facing the bigger loss.

 

The bounty hunter smirked at that. Yep, death at the hands of the Collectors pretty much took the cake for 'losses'. He wasn't going to sweat whether he let the girl rest or not with what she had ahead of her. He started scanning the shadowed forest around them for a good campsite.

 

"Oufer asoko," rasped a weak voice from behind him. Djaz frowned as he turned, opening his mouth to tell the foreign chit to at least speak in a decent language, but her raised hands gave him pause. He followed her pointed finger until he spied the particularly quiet-looking clearing just barely visible in the pre-dawn light, and her meaning became clear. He wondered whether to be pleased that she'd found a good camp site or alarmed the she'd known he was looking. Could her kind read minds?

 

Just the possibility was enough to make his skin crawl, and he scowled angrily at the girl, making his displeasure abundantly clear. With her eyes fixed doggedly on the ground at her feet, though, the young man couldn’t even be sure that she saw his warning, so he took steps to see to it that she felt it as he turned to stomp off towards the mossy thicket, yanking sharply on the rope tied to her bound wrists. His temper was rewarded as he felt her stumble against the tree beside her, scrambling to catch up with him before he pulled her over.

 

Djaz grinned cruelly to himself, firmly convinced that a creature like her deserved that and far more. It was going to be an amusing trip...

[Yui-chan]

{Note from the Author: This story is now under contract, and as this counts as 'internet publishing', I'm going to have to remove it. It's no real loss, seeing as this little tidbit didn't show you any of the cool stuff. As a teaser, this is from about ten pages into the story, too.

 

I'll leave the announcement up for a day or two, then delete the thread. Sorry for the inconvenience!}

[Peredhil]

this is one of your better ones - hope it sells well.

[Gyrfalcon]

Good luck with the magazine, Yui-chan! May your story sell well!

[Yui-chan]

Thanks, guys. We'll see what happens, right?

 

Yours,

~Yui

[Yui-chan]

I'm a little amused, tonight. I finally managed to write the bits of the new version of Duality that incorporate what I wrote so long ago in the old version that begins this thread. I'm not sure if anyone really cares, but I thought it would be entertaining to let the Pen see how the two versions compare. Here's a chunk from about 40 pages into the new Duality. Just don't tell my editor that I showed it to you!

 

_________________________

Five hours later, the young Toi had forgone worrying in the face of the need to put foot in front of foot, a process that was becoming increasingly challenging. The men had not stopped walking since the morning, when Djaz had suddenly chosen a direction and grabbed hold of her arm, tugging her off across the frozen tundra as Pellorin followed, and they most certainly hadn't bothered to inquire as to her comfort. Not that she'd have told them her woes even if they'd asked.

 

No, exhaustion was a state she could live with, as were the aches and pains of her abused body: the bruise across her shoulders that pulled miserably every time Djaz jostled her arm and the stinging blue-black welts that poor, dead Craedi had left on her neck. Her stomach, which was still tight with cramped muscles and tender to the touch, was a little harder to take silently, but she kept her peace by biting her lip whenever it stabbed her especially hard.

 

The real challenge lay in walking without a limp, as her feet had become more and more tender, having progressed from pain, through agony and numbness, and on to excruciating torture. She had never walked so far in one day, before, let alone on hard, often icy land and in boots that were a size too big and stolen from a farmstead near the mountains. Adreina found herself nearing despair as she reflected on the fact that the sun had not even quite reached its zenith, yet. By the time the day was over, her feet would be bleeding, if they weren't already. She refused to glance down and find out.

 

But more stubbornly, she refused to tell any of this to her Kohlanmer captors, simply walking along as best she could, keeping her silence while they chattered back and forth, droning on and on about things she neither knew nor cared about. There were cities she'd never heard of and taverns she'd never set foot in. Pellorin told a few tales about his wife and children, none of whom she would ever see; and Djaz laughed over some bawdy jokes that she couldn't quite understand. She rather imagined that the words she didn't recognize were anatomical references, but she didn't care enough to ask. Instead, she just watched the ground and willed one foot in front of the other, continuing on that way for what seemed like an eternity.

 

"You realize that you’re weaving about like a drunkard, don’t you?" Adreina blinked, noting the change in Djaz' tone that heralded his attention had swung to her. She lifted her head for the first time in hours, staring at him as she took a few seconds to recall his words and then a few more to properly translate them. Her thoughts were alarmingly sluggish.

 

"Gi haivem 'darunkard' arut’ord souvharen?" She didn’t realize she’d failed to translate her thoughts until he frowned. "Um... What is it - a 'drunkard'?"

 

He shook his head. "You really are quite out of your league hereabouts, huh? I’ll never understand how you made it all the way to Madorif as you are." She may not have spoken his language all that clearly, but she certainly understood his tone and the derisive snort that followed. His scorn stung, strangely enough, and the young woman found herself looking away from his cool eyes. "A drunkard is someone who’s had too much booze, princess. And you’re looking as unable to walk a straight line as the worst of them. What’s wrong with you, hm?"

 

Adreina didn't know how to answer that question, so she glanced over at Pellorin where he walked a few paces away. He, too, was watching her, though his expression held far less scorn and even a hint of concern. It was such a welcome sentiment that she had to struggle with her face to keep it from breaking into a smile. Of course, she'd already lost the battle to keep herself from recognizing and appreciating the kindness that the big, dark man showed her. It was going to be hard to avoid trusting him.

 

"Hey!" Fingers snapping in her face drew her attention back to the man at her side, who was staring down at her with a frown drawn across his thin lips. "I asked a question, highness."

 

The only answer she gave him was a noncommittal shrug that darkened his violet eyes with anger. She wasn’t about to tell him that she was surely dying from exhaustion, or that she was pretty certain her feet were bleeding in preparation for falling off if they walked another pace. She may not have had much, any more, but she still had far too much pride to mention to this ruffian just how much she was suffering. Then again, if either he or Pellorin realized it for themselves, she probably wouldn't argue.

 

Unfortunately for Adreina, men have never been the most observant of creatures.

 

Djaz stared at the young woman for a moment, then raised his brows in the classic 'suit yourself' expression, shrugged, and turned back to the plains, dragging her after him. Adreina didn’t have much choice but to hurry on his heels, swallowing a grimace as her body protested. Pellorin's boots crunched on the ground behind them, and she could feel his dark-gold eyes on her back, leaving her to hope that her limp wasn't too pronounced.

 

Chapter (14) Inquisition

 

"I'm thinkin' that stand o' trees over the ridge might be a good place to take a break an' find somethin' ta eat, Djaz. There's a stream runs by there, an' we 'aven't 'ad a drink since last night. Whadda ya say?" came the deep but quiet voice from Adreina's left, breaking into the haze that had closed in around her. She licked her lips with a dry tongue and tried not to think how nice a cool drink of water sounded.

 

"You read my mind, Pel. Think you can find us something tasty for our lunch?" Djaz answered, drawing them both to a halt so that he could look at his friend.

 

The big man looked slightly affronted. "O' course. I saw a kevitch trail jus' a few minutes back that looked nice an' fresh. I'll meet you two over there, then?"

 

Djaz nodded, his expression falsely light, and intoned, "Sure. Just watch your back."

 

"Always, kid," came the response, and Pellorin clapped a reassuring hand on his young leader's shoulder. He ignored the other man's raised brow at the invective, countering it with a warm grin. "You just keep an eye out for yourself an' the mite, 'ere. You're 'oldin' onto what they want, after all."

 

"Pssh." The Hunter answered with a snort, rolling his eyes. "Get going, you big lug. I'm damned hungry!"

 

As am I, Adreina thought, keeping her eyes on the ground lest her anticipation show. She wasn't sure whether they'd even bother to give her some food, but her knotting stomach relaxed somewhat at the very idea. In fact, every part of her weary body was looking forward to a rest, no matter how short it turned out to be.

 

Pellorin left them, then, heading back the way they'd come while they continued on towards the scraggily trees that were just peeking over a low hill in the near distance. The young woman would have been very glad to make the trip in the same silent misery she'd been traveling in for hours, but it turned out that Djaz needed a new chatting partner in his friend's absence. Regardless of whether she wanted that honor or not, Adreina found herself firmly volunteered for the position. After only a few heartbeats of peace, his voice broke into the cold plain's silence.

 

"Just for the record, it was the dustbunnies that gave you away."

 

She blinked, lifting her gaze from the frozen grass at her feet to squint in puzzlement at the man walking beside her. "Huh?"

 

The young man smirked, glancing down at her. "Dustbunnies. You know, the little fuzzy balls of fluff that gather under tables and in the unused corners of a room? They look like little miniature rabbits, all hairy and such..."

 

When she simply shook her head, Djaz rolled his eyes and gave an exasperated sigh. "Southerners." He said it as if that one word encompassed all that was wrong with the girl, but she imagined that he probably could have provided a longer list if asked.

 

The silence stretched out a few paces before he groaned and turned an annoyed glare down at her. "Well? Aren’t you going to ask?"

 

Adreina grimaced and closed her eyes for one brief moment, wondering if the man would ever just be silent. She knew better, really, but in the end she just met his gaze coolly and shook her head. It was a very deliberate and probably foolish gesture, but she really didn’t care a whit about his dustbunnies.

 

Of course, he wasn’t overly interested in her opinion, so it didn’t hold much sway over his next words. "They’d moved, you see."

 

She wondered why he acted as if that explained everything, but she wasn’t about to ask.

 

"Oh, for the love of the Spirits," he exclaimed, stopping short. She nearly ran right into him, but his grip on her arm forced her protesting legs to stop just in time. The sudden change made her grimace as a muscle in her calf stabbed at her, but Djaz didn't seem to notice her discomfort, turning to her with another roll of those violet eyes. "Would you just try to think for one second? Your little nook was a damn good hiding spot, but you didn't know that Fergal never bothered to clean that corner. Every time you moved, the wind blew those little dirtballs around. Geez. Just think about that for a second, wouldja? You owe all this to a few piles of fluff and some careless movement."

 

Adreina sighed heavily. She didn’t want to think about it at all, so instead she dropped her gaze once more to the frozen grass at her feet, the weight of inevitability heavy on her frail shoulders. She could feel the young Hunter staring at her, but she didn’t want to encourage him by looking up. She just wanted to be left alone.

 

"By the—" He cut off the curse, flopping his free hand helplessly against his side. "You’re terrible company. Come on." A quick tug on her arm had them both moving again, and none too soon for her tastes. The young woman was rather surprised that it'd been so easy to escape his desire for conversation, but it proved a short-lived respite as he tried again after only a few minutes.

 

"So, how did you make it in this far, anyway, princess? Did you have contacts along the way?" Djaz tossed the questions casually over his shoulder as they climbed the low swell that would end at the trees, but Adreina wasn’t fool enough to miss the weight behind them. Here was a dangerous subject and a man looking for conspiracy.

 

"Nai," she muttered, keeping her eyes cool as she stared straight ahead. She didn’t need to translate, nor did she intend to elaborate.

 

Her recalcitrance earned her a skeptical snort. "I seriously doubt that. You’re not exactly built for the kind of journey it must have been." He stopped once again, turning the full measure of his gaze on her as if he could bore the truth out of her head with his eyes. Staring into those violet depths, she wasn’t entirely certain that he couldn’t. "Did you find some way to ride to Madorif? You can barely walk three hours without starting to limp."

 

Perhaps he wasn't as unobservant as he seemed. Adreina fought the blush that threatened to rise into her cheeks, dropping her gaze to her boots. Even flexing her toes was enough to tighten her lips against stabs of pain in her feet. He didn't need to know that she'd used frequent breaks and light healing cantrips to enable herself to travel before she'd taken to hiding at Fergal's tavern; he'd either assume she was lying or probably hit her for daring to mention her magic.

 

Clearly, it made him and his companion nervous to think about spellcrafting. Besides, she may have given away the secret of her ability to speak their language, but she still needed to keep whatever advantages she could. Magic was about the only potential weapon she had left, and even that was weakened by the ropes around her wrist and the unending hunger sapping her energy. Of course, he wasn't going to let her just not answer.

 

Djaz slipped his fingers around her chin, raising her face to his inspection. She was surprised to find that the anger and derision were gone from his expression, leaving confusion and something akin to ... pity? "Why are you here, princess? What on earth would have motivated a young, soft woman like you to come into these lands, knowing you wouldn't be welcomed? You're going to die here."

 

The warmth in his tone nearly undid her, leaving Adreina blinking back the tears that sprang into her eyes. Put so bluntly, his pronouncement of the inevitable fate she faced was like a punch to the gut, and she trembled in reaction to her own fear. It was terribly embarrassing, not only because of the discerning gaze her captor kept on her, but also because of what it meant about her nature, what it said about her lack of faith. She closed her eyes because he would not let her turn her head away and fought to control her reaction, reminding herself that she had been set upon this path by her god. It had been his will that had sent her across the Guardian mountains, and she now served his divine purposes, knowing that her mortal punishment would be execution. She should have been able to take joy in doing his will. She should have been able to look forward to death, knowing that she would be rewarded with eternal favor in his arms because of her sacrifice.

 

Ah, but she was weak, and those thoughts didn't bring her comfort. Death held only uncertainty and fear for her, and she missed the life she had loved among her people. Her father would have been so ashamed to see the lack of piety in her heart, to see her failing this test of her soul so miserably. She couldn't seem to just hand her fate over to her god's will. Every time she faced death, she resisted instead of accepting. Every time she was offered kindness or compassion, she grasped at it like a desperate child instead of standing strong against the temptation. Every time she was tested with pain, she responded with weakness and failure. She --

 

"You're not going to answer, are you?" The young man broke into her self admonishment, his voice surprisingly soft.

 

Adreina opened her eyes again, and there he stood, willing her to tell him her secrets. She felt the tug as a nearly physical thing, as if every part of him was pulling at every part of her, starting with the tingling place where his fingers held her chin. It was a strange feeling, though not quite unpleasant, and one so weak that she couldn't quite be certain whether she was imagining it or whether it was real. Was he even then working on her mind with some obscure Kohlanmer talent? She couldn't have said it was impossible, but her heart refused to be afraid of the sensation, whatever it was.

 

"Nai," she whispered after a few heartbeats, watching his eyes harden at the rejection. "It... don't matter any more..." For some reason, she found it uncomfortably painful to watch the candid warmth in his face die away, replaced with that old disdain and no small amount of anger.

 

"As you wish, princess," he muttered, releasing her chin to offer her a mocking little bow. His voice was so cold that she shivered as he turned and swept away with a purposefully long stride, dragging her after him. For her part, she was too busy struggling to keep up and biting her lip against the protests of her tender feet to notice that he rubbed his free hand against his jacket, trying to rid himself of the strange tingling he felt there.

[Wyvern]

I think this is a really excellent story segment, Yui-chan. Even in the small space of the one or two chapters you've presented here, the personalities of the characters are portrayed very vividly and the internal and external conflicts are both very strong. I found the ambivalence in the emotions of the characters particularly intriguing, especially the struggle between Adreina's pride and her secret desire for acceptance when confronted by Djaz's warmth.

 

The only paragraph that I didn't really like in this segment was the paragraph in Chapter 14 that starts "Ah, but she was weak, and those thoughts didn't bring her comfort..." and ends "...she responded with weakness and failure. She --" I thought this paragraph broke the flow a little as, unlike the other paragraphs, it's simply telling the reader about Adreina's feelings rather than showing them. I think that your occasional uses of telling in other paragraphs are very well done, but that in this paragraph there was too much of it...

 

My favorite moment in this segment was probably when Djaz suddenly showed warmth towards Adreina, as it was an unexpected developement that didn't come completely out of the blue. Like I said though, I thought the characterization was really excellent throughout... I liked this version more than the original, and it's cool to see what led to the conversation about dust bunnies.

 

Great stuff, I'm definitely interested to see how it developes.

[Falcon2001]

Wow O_O I almost feel bad about bugging you to write on Via Umbrae now ;;

[Yui-chan]

Wyvie,

 

Thanks for the feedback. I've done the final edit/revision of Chapter (14), hopefully keeping in mind your comments. I'll PM you a few revised paragraphs, later.

 

Falcon... Hmmm... remind me whose turn it is, right now? *pokepokepokepoke*

 

Thanks for reading,

~Yui