Ozymandias Posted February 24, 2002 Report Share Posted February 24, 2002 Orlan bursts in to see the possessed Lord ArkyN toying with the mages of the BH and he decides action must take place. Reaching into his Necromancer's Cloak Orlan yanks out a small lizard by it's tail. "Ahh that's not it!" he cries. He reaches into his cloak again, this time he gets a large plate with a roasted turkey on it. "Nope not that either," He tries again and pulls out 32 chopsticks. "Grrr..." This time three chickens. "Yaaaahh..." Again and it's a book "Naked Mages and the Squirrels who love them". "Whoops how'd that get in there?" This time it's a rather large mallet. "Ah HA!" Orlan stalks silently up to Arkyn, his mallet in hand. He casts slow on the pet dragons and sneaks up to Arkyn where he proceeds to whack him over the head multiple times with it while chanting "The Power of Mr. Satan Compells you! Begone foul demon! Bring back our lovable if a little slow-witter Arkyn!" Orlan Triber S1 Sexy Sexy Man (Offical) Lounge Lizard of Terra Edited by: Ozymandias the Elder at: 2/23/02 12:44:43 pm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted February 24, 2002 Report Share Posted February 24, 2002 Ooooh, so I have a fan club now do I? Contempible fanmags. . .get all the details wrong. . .just look at the misprints in this issue of Men of Terra Exposed!. What? No of course that's not mine. . .(Tzimfemme drops magazine and runs) Men of Terra Exposed!, Volume 10, Issue 2 Cover Photo: Bale, in tight jeans and leaping pose, badly superimposed over a rocky ravine. In lower right corner, silhouette of a man with the caption "Who's the Man of the Month????") Headline: THE DARING DEATH-DEFYING FEARLESS FEATS OF BRAVE BOLD BALE! CLIFFHANGERS! Other phrases on cover: Cid's Favorite Party Games Woods named "Official Songwriter for the Men of Terra" by Greased The Mystery Man Strikes Again! Shrine to the Missing Men: Thane, Zorak, Mordain Fill in HawkAngel's Blank Shield Contest BelZpock's Advice to the Lovelorn: More Maths! ------------------ Server One Tzimfemme (the naked mage) Calculus for the Masses! Blitz One Rydia Immortal of Carp Adorned with Pearls Bestower of Holy Power upon Demigods Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted February 24, 2002 Report Share Posted February 24, 2002 Deirdre quickly recovers and helps Orlan in bashing up poor Arkyn in the hope of getting her good ol' mentor back................ Suddenly a huge flash appears and the demon is subdued from Arkyn and a huge cloud appears too before dispersing......... When the cloud has gone away,Arkyn is nowhere to be found.......... Instead there is a cute little fire dragon sitting in his place. Deirdre groans,realizing her mentor has changed into a fire dragon.......... "Good gracious me,I think my head is going crazy!" she mutters......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted February 24, 2002 Report Share Posted February 24, 2002 *Walks in looks around and sees all the commotion from all the regulars. Decides to go to a dark corner and relax and watch everything that goes on* ------------------ The Quiet One Edited by: Ozymandias the Elder at: 2/23/02 12:52:58 pm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted February 24, 2002 Report Share Posted February 24, 2002 but incase you didnt notice, that little dragon is actually a singing dragon. worth alot more than Arkyn was when he was around. "what happened to arkyn" some might ask. well, that remains a mystery.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted February 24, 2002 Report Share Posted February 24, 2002 Orlan finally can stop beating Arkyn to death. He looks up and around. "What?....he was possesed by a Demon?!?!?" Orlan runs away screaming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted February 24, 2002 Report Share Posted February 24, 2002 Ozymandias, freshly showered and changed, saunters back into the hall. Taking a deep whiff of the alcohol-soaked air and surveying Newtlord being pelted by grapes, Decimator being pelted by seeds, a badly burned Deirdre, and a small red dragon singing 'She'll be Comin' Around the Mountain' to itself, he sighs happily. "At last. Everything's back to normal." And with that, he sidesteps the giant watermelon to go and have an ale at the bar. ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted February 24, 2002 Report Share Posted February 24, 2002 "Greetings." Thalian says to all the mages in the Banquet Hall. He walks to the Bar and asks for a mug of ale. The bartender pours him a mug and hands it to Thalian. He then slowly walks to a back corner where there is hardly any light. He sits down and slowly drinks his ale. "This is the Life." ------------------ The Quiet One Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted March 4, 2002 Report Share Posted March 4, 2002 Tzimfemme pulls her earphones away from her ears, where the trills of "Hunting Girl" can be faintly heard. "What was that, Impostor?" she inquired with a malicious grin. She sashays away, resolving yet again not to lengthen this thread further. . . ------------------ Server One Tzimfemme (the naked mage) Calculus for the Masses! Blitz One Rydia Immortal of Carp Adorned with Pearls Bestower of Holy Power upon Demigods Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted March 4, 2002 Report Share Posted March 4, 2002 OOOWWWWW!!!!!!!!! And to think, Mestro'd just finished regrowing his lost hand, now he's got a badly mauled leg attached to a German Shepherd... "Leggo! Leggo! Leggoofmeleg!!!! OWOWOWOWOWOWOW..." "Rowf! Rowf rowf woof grrr woof." "Whatchasaying? Idon't understandyouwhenyourtalkingwithaleginyourmouth" "Master! Whats that German Shepherdress doing on your leg?" and with those words, the air being highly charged with magical potential, the German Shepherd(dog) became a German Shepherdress(Sheep-herder). "Errr... this dog... i mean beautiful creature, ran up to me and bit, no i mean fastened it's, HER fangs, ermm prefectly white teeth upon my leg." "Say, would you like to come work for me? I'll give you 1'000'000'000 geld as a bonus." She smiles at Mestro and nods her head shyly. OOC: next time, send a few more creatures when you come knocking at my door will 'ya? =) ------------------ Me Mestro, You Jane... Wait one minute, you not Jane!!! ARGHHHHHH... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted March 4, 2002 Report Share Posted March 4, 2002 Iuz enters the Hall smiling, reeling, a bottle xxx in his right hand. He changes form all the time, from human to demon and back...A sign he has lost most of his control, this one is STONE-DRUNK... So'ry, burb, ah jest came on over fum ager1 tavahn, as enny fool kin plainly see...ah heard yo' guys had th' bess _fruit_ cocktails. Wal git me a frozen daiq... hey whuffo' is yo' all lookin' at me like thet? Hey, stay right whar yer. No, no doesn't point thet nasty wan' at me...UAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA And Iuz runs for the door at lightning speed...well, almost... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted March 4, 2002 Report Share Posted March 4, 2002 Lightning speed for someone with Slow cast on them, that is. Izu moved at a crawl through the air as mages gathered around him and cracked their knuckles. Gyrfalcon looked over from where he was maintaining the Slow spell and said "Have fun" to them before turning back to his drink. Behind him, he could here the sounds of someone getting pummeled with great brutality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted March 4, 2002 Report Share Posted March 4, 2002 Deirdre spots poor Iuz being hammered by the mages and yells at them to stop or they'll go back with a part of them missing. The mages stop in their tracks and silence descents onto the Hall. Deirdre pulls out Iuz and gets some water from the bartender. She proceeds to clean him up and casts a healing spell on him to close up his wounds. Deirdre asks the bartender how much a room costs and orders that no one disturb Iuz's peace. Deirdre accompanies him up to the room and after a short while,goes back to her table. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted March 4, 2002 Report Share Posted March 4, 2002 She feels eyes on the back of her neck. Turning oh so casually, she sees one of Ozymandias' Mind Rippers looking at her. It simply nods approval, then turns it's attention back to the unconcious form of it's master. ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted March 4, 2002 Report Share Posted March 4, 2002 Yo! Leave my squirriels alone! Serves you right! ------------------ -- kor The Knights of Light and Darkness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted March 4, 2002 Report Share Posted March 4, 2002 "I just want to remind everyone here that if you're going to drink, having a designated spellcaster. Because, as the commercial says, "What should you do to stop a friend from casting spells while drunk? Anything you have to." Decimator Wielder of the Ukulele of Doom Pursuer of Amazonian women S1 Banquet Hall bartender Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted March 4, 2002 Report Share Posted March 4, 2002 Deirdre grins and asks to book a room. She gets the keys,goes upstairs,unlocks the door and asks a Chambermaid to go in and tidy the bed. Minutes later,screams emerge from the room,followed by pitiful cries of "No.....don't put it in me,please,I beg you!" Suddenly the door opens and the chambermaid comes out of the room,with a strange look on her face. She spots Greased walking into the Hall and rushes up to him. Before he can do anything,she drags him into the room.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted March 4, 2002 Report Share Posted March 4, 2002 A long tall Eradication mage walks into the banquet hall. His flowing blue cloak belies his school, but the charred hair typical of Firecallers shows his profession. He takes a cursory glance around the room. "Erm. Bad time, I see... ah, I'll be back..." He turns and begins to edge towards the door. ------------------ ~SatyrRider Lore once and future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted March 4, 2002 Report Share Posted March 4, 2002 Well.... mostly i can't make heads or tails outta it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The edited part is.... the posts (pural) i was replying to were a buch of obnoxious and noxious posts by that Shak66 feller i wasn't referring to the post by "the long(?) tall eradication mage" ------------------ Me Mestro, You Jane... Wait one minute, you not Jane!!! ARGHHHHHH... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted March 4, 2002 Report Share Posted March 4, 2002 LOL Mest... I don't even think he does... ------------------ ~SatyrRider Lore once and future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted March 4, 2002 Report Share Posted March 4, 2002 Well, if no-one has any objections, I'm going to call Mestro's Apr.22 post the end of the story. And even if you do, well *neener neener* to you, because YOU'RE not going to transcribe this whole mad mess to the conservatory. Unless of course, one of you (you general, ghostly, intangible readership, you) does take up the reigns and beat me to it. Au revoir! ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! (Ed.'s note- "reigns"?? Criminy.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted March 4, 2002 Report Share Posted March 4, 2002 Hey Ozy!!!!!!!! This is my post........ GRRRRRRRRR............ Deirdre gets really mad and unleashes a swarm of succubi on him Deirdre aka Lilithgal The Queen of Succubus The Fallen Angel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted March 4, 2002 Report Share Posted March 4, 2002 Not possible Ozy, the thing he was replying to was deleted... meaning MY post is last! >=) ------------------ ~SatyrRider Lore once and future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted March 4, 2002 Report Share Posted March 4, 2002 NOOOO!!!!!!!!! don't stop... lets see this post going till they decide to make Archmage a 3D RTS Game =) it's so danged hard to follow the nimball through the various servers =( ------------------ Me Mestro, You Jane... Wait one minute, you not Jane!!! ARGHHHHHH... Edited by: Ozymandias the Elder at: 3/4/02 10:19:11 am Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted March 4, 2002 Report Share Posted March 4, 2002 ::Orlan slips in unnoticed, and hands the Nekkid Mage, Tzi, a piece of paper that says "A1 - I challenge... - Greased wants you...bad!" and then runs off leaving one confused Naked Mage:: Grapes....mmmm..... ------------------ Orlan, Sexy Sexy Man The Lounge! Member of the Tribe S1 Lounge Lizard of Terra GuildMaster of "Nekkid Female Mages No. 1 FanClub and Worshippers" Soran Member of AoA Lover of Women Ruler of the Liar of Devils Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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