Orlan Posted February 11, 2002 Report Share Posted February 11, 2002 Wyvern's office. Nighttime. Quiet. Serene. Placated, whatever the hell that means. The perfect place....for a CRIME! Or at least, that's what Orlan thinks as he drilled a hole into the ceiling of the office. The Sexy Sexy Man/Elder of Bards stuck his head through the hole, looking about into the darkened office. "Hmm," Orlan said to himself, looking around. He pulled his head back out of the hole and looked behind him where the Elder of Lists and something else I can't remember right now but that's alright because it dosen't really matter anyway, Gwaihir was lying, burdened down with equipment. "Do you REALLY need all this?" Gwaihir lamented. Orlan pursed his lips and thought for a moment. "Of course not, but we need to train you....and you seemed to be gaining the Fresh-Elder 15...I wanted to make sure you stayed slim," Orlan said. He was always looking out for the little guy...as long as it didn't interfere with his getting anything. "Hand over the rope, G." Gwaihir handed Orlan a length of rope which Orlan tied to some thing that happened to be stable enough to hold it because he told it to be stable enough to hold it and dumped the other end into the office below. The rope went to nearly the floor, but not quite. "Stay here," Orlan told Gwaihir as he started to shimmy (strut-like of course) down the rope, head first. When Orlan reached the end of the rope he looked down at the checkered-board type flooring. He first praised The Great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen that he had a better interior designer do his office then Wyvern's was, and then he put on his "ACME See-the-stupid-traps-so-you-can-avoid-them" goggles and stared at the floor. "Aha!" Orlan shouted triumphantly when he saw the traps and before realizing he should shut up. He put the goggles up and turned to look up at Gwaihir who was peeking down. "Toss me the book labeled 'This is not a book about Lies', will ya?" Gwaihir mumbled and fumbled for a bit until he located a big tome and promptly dropped the book to Orlan. The Sexy Sexy Man waited until the last possible second before reaching out and suave-ily grabbing it. It was neato. Orlan opened the book and flipped a few pages before realizing that the book was upside down. Well...the book was right side up, but Orlan was upside down so Orlan had to upside-down the book to right-side up it....make sense? Orlan scanned through it and found the counterspell he wanted. Looking down at the floor he peered at the tiles. "I'm Wyvern, turn off." Orlan said in his own voice. The tiles pulsed in color and then stopped glowing. Orlan made a point to get a new security system for his office....then remembered that he didn't have anything of value in his office. Orlan spun himself upright and landed himself on the tiles, with no alarms. "Git down here, Gwai!" Gwaihir fumblede down, loaded down with all the equipment still. Orlan crept over (still strut-like) to the file cabinet at the side of the room. He scanned the labels until he found what he wanted and opened it out, skimming over the labels of people's names. "'Peredhil', no, 'Jechum', no, 'Yo Mamma', no, 'That guy with the thing coming out of his head', no...aha! Here it is..'Tzimfemme'!" Orlan pulled out Tzimfemme's file from the drawer. He opened up the file on the desk. "Light?" he asked Gwaihir. Gwaihir fumbled around his pockets looking for something and finally handed over a couple unbroken glowsticks to Orlan. Orlan looked at the glowsticks at then back at Gwaihir. "What?" Gwaihir asked. "Where these the glowsticks from the Rave party where you got stoned off of Peredhil's Perfectly Pragmatic Power of Pokey and then danced the Charelston on the flagpole?" Orlan asked. Gwaihir looked at the floor and mumbled and grumbled and mumbled some more. Orlan grinned and snapped the glowsticks, bringing them down to light the file. Orlan fingered through the things, looking for something in particular. After a moment he found it. Gwaihir looked over Orlan's shoulder and saw that he was looking at a picture of Tzimfemme, nekkid as a jaybird, with Orlan nibbling on he shoulder and in the background was Greased chasing Nissassa around with a giant blue bunny. Orlan looked longingly at the picture and sighed a bit. He then reached into his clothes and took out another picture that was a picture of just Tzimfemme and had the label "Tzimfemme pose No. 983,423" on the bottom. He deftly switched the two photos and put Tzimfemme's file back where it was. "Why'd you switch the pictures?" Gwaihir asked. Orlan mumbled a reply. Gwaihir cocked an ear. "I'm sorry, what was that?" "I left my other copy of that at my summer home with my stuffed bear, okay!" Orlan said a little louder then he should have. Gwaihir didn't get a chance to snigger at the thought when the door handle jiggled as someone started unlocking it. Orlan thought quick. Casting a morphing spell on Gwaihir he made him look like Wyvern and then started throttling him. He then used a spell from his days as a Priest to the Left side of the Priest to the Left Side of the Great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen and turned he and Gwaihir/Wyvern to stone. The door opened to Wyvern's office and Melba walked in in her cleaning woman uniform and a big duster. She started methodically going around the room dusting things here and there. Finally she came to the statue of Orlan and Gwaihir/Wyvern and stared at it for a moment. "Hmm...I don't remember this....ah well," and she dusted it off. After a few more tense minutes, she closed the door and left...apparently oblivious to the 3 glowing glowsticks, hole in the ceiling and rope hanging from said hole in the ceiling. Orlan relaxed the two spells he had cast and Gwaihir started coughing and sputtering. Orlan pushed him towards the rope before he could complain anymore. Gwaihir scurried somewhat haphazardly up the rope and into the hole. Orlan looked around. This night had gone perfect....too perfect. That's no fun. He looked at Wyvern's desk. On one side of the desk was a small pile of six gold coins. Orlan crept over and pushed one coin one-tenth of a centimeter to the left. Then, sniggering evilly, scurried back up the rope and into the hole, pulling up the rope and sealing up the hole again. Of course he forgot the glowsticks....but hey...one-tenth of a centimeter is a small distance, and this way he covers his back. Orlan cackled madly as he poked Gwaihir in the foot several times as the two of them crawled back to his office. "Excellent night," Orlan said to himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Melba Posted February 11, 2002 Report Share Posted February 11, 2002 Melba, lost in visions of the Manly Brute, moved as though in a dream. Drifting on air back to her desk, she checked off another box on the 'To-Do' list, namely, clean her Almost-Boss' office. She stopped and stood erect suddenly as what she'd seen hit her. A statue of Orlan strangling Wyvern??? She looked back at the closed door with a calculating narrowed-eyed gaze... Where could she get a miniature replica for her desk? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwaihir Posted February 11, 2002 Report Share Posted February 11, 2002 Wyvern I just want to say that I really support your accepting Orlan as an initiate. That post he made was hilarious, and he's written many other entertaining things on the UBBs and in other places. I strongly support his application! ---------- I want to be page 93 of Pineapples, the Avian Crows-Nyyark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gyrfalcon Posted February 12, 2002 Report Share Posted February 12, 2002 *Gyrfalcon doubles over laughing at Gwaihir's words* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jechum Posted February 12, 2002 Report Share Posted February 12, 2002 Jechum floats in.... I don't know... Was this an originally posted story for Wyvern? Jechum floats out... Jechum Newbie, Mage of Shadows the Pen is Mightier than the Sword - Lore Master Edited by: Jechum at: 2/12/02 8:14:24 am Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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