Guest Hydrus Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Greetings Wise Pen-Masters, I would like to offer a humble application for joining and participating in your famous and mighty Guild. It has been an honour to simply read your many wondrous posts on this sacred board. </arse kiss> If you'd like to see the kind of stuff i usually do, look no further than the highly successful Egg and Spoon movie trillogy. Egg and Spoon Race: Incarnate vs Hydrus arch17.magewar.com/ubb/Fo...00409.html Egg and Spoon Race 2: Hydrus's Revenge arch17.magewar.com/ubb/Fo...00523.html Egg and Spoon Race 3: The Spoontrix arch17.magewar.com/ubb/Fo...00660.html However, for those of you who are exceptionally lazy, here's a quickie. SATURDAY NIGHT IS FIGHT NIGHT! Scene: Boxing Stadium. Capacity crowd is screaming for the combatants to come out. Hydrus is sitting at his compare's desk wearing a tuxedo and a dorky tie. He speaks into a microphone with a thick American accent. "Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen," he says over-dramaticly, "and Welcome to one of this years most anticipated and over-publicised match ups. You will have the pleasure of watching two of the giants of the boxing world, two people, whom, if you ever managed to get them into a ring, would undoubtedly inspare alot of drinking amoung onlookers. And that's exactly what we've done! "So lets take a look at our fighters now. "First up, in the blue corner, is that smasher of stuff, that mangler of matter, that obliterator of objects, the sword himself, Sir Longsword! And here he comes now. Wow, dosen't he look......sharp. Very sharp. And long too. And in the red corner, undoubtedly tonight's favourite, the name that comes to everyones mind when you say 'Captain Biro', it's Captain Biro!!" Unaware of the anti-climax caused by the early mention of the fighters name, Hydrus looks on as two otherwise inanimate objects walk into the ring. One of them, a dangerous looking sword, has sprouted two human legs, and is riding a uni-cycle. The other, a blue biro, also two human legs, plus two arms. He continually pounds his chest (or where his chest would be if he had one) and screams "Can you smell what the Pen is cooking?". Finally, after a short bout of name calling and the subsequent sobbing and tissue-using, the referree rings a little bell and the fight starts. "I've been looking foward to this one folks, and here we go! It looks like Sir Longsword is leaning foward on his unicycles, he's going to head butt Captain Biro!" CRASH! "Ouch, that's got to hurt! Captain Biro's lid has come off! He's been decapitated! Oh my goodness, ladies and gentlemen, we have never seen such a blood, erm, ink-bath! Sir Longsword is all over him!" Attempting to run the unconcious pen over with his unicycle, Sir Longsword is sent flying when he hits the bump. Recovering quickly, Biro stands up and replaces his head. "And they're into it again! Captain Biro has body-slammed the Sir Longsword, and, whats this? He's pulling out a sock!" The pen puts the sock over his hand and grabs Captain Longswords jaw. "Wow! You wouldn't read about it, would you folks?" ( ) Suddenly, Longsword throws the Pen off him. They both circle each other, looking for weaknesses. The sword spits. The pen smiles grimly. "Here we go, Pen is up to something....oh my goodness! He's pulled his on head off! He's going....going....he's....drawing something! He's drawing something on the canvas folks!" Pen, doing a handstand that would make a gymnast blush, deftly draws a giant leather sheath on the floor, complete with belt buckle and metal tip. Grabbing the sword in a sleeper hold, he throws the blade into the sheath, and sticky tapes it shut. "Wow! This is incredible! It looks like Sir Longsword is now stuck inside the drawing! Captain Biro is struting around the ring, soaking up the crowd!" The refferee hits the floor three times, and, with the sword unable to get up, declares Captain Biro the winner!! Thus, the Pen is proved mightier than the sword, or at least a better boxer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Welcome Hydrus! Will you be doing any cooking while you're here? I understand Dwarves are famous for their cooking. Peredhil looks around for Melba or Wyvern to move the application along. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted January 19, 2002 Report Share Posted January 19, 2002 A red, scaly figure dressed in a grey overcoat and dark sunglasses curses to himself quietly as he watches Sir Longsword bite the dust. A grimace of Razor sharp teeth and a serpentine toungue can be faintly seen from behind a phony black beard he was using to mask his true appearence. After all, Wyvern (oops! Did I say that?! Ned, I mean...) would never have been caught betting on the sword... even if he had rigged the match so that the Pen would lose... or so he had thought, any way... It takes Wyvern around ten minutes to realize that the match was truly over and that Captain Biro had won. It wasn't supposed to have happened this way! Captain Biro was supposed to go down in the third round due to a ink leakage in his back set by Wyv's henchmen... The overgrown lizard quickly gets up to leave the arena via the right exit, but finds his pathway blocked by two mafia hitmen peeved that the match had not gone as Wyv had described it. He turns to leave to the exit on the left only to find it guarded by two equally menacing looking P.I.A (Pen Intelligence Agency) officers, searching him out. This had become a sticky situation indeed... Elsewhere... Wyvern's two henchmen, the squirrel duo of Lewis and Simon, finally arrive at the dressing room of Captain Biro, prepared for the sabotage and unaware that they're running quite late... "How did we get in this mess again...?" whispers Simon to Lewis, nervously clutching his 'white out stick' and preparing to get down to business. "Because Wyvern said that if we didn't he'd fry us to squirrel souffle..." growls Lewis under his breath "... now lets get moving Simon, we have work to do!" Simon nods solemnly and the squirrel duo enter Captain Biro's room together, holding out their 'white out sticks' in front of them and preparing to do a bit of erasing. They are shocked to find Biro's abode empty. "What th-!" exclaims Lewis, franticaly searching the room for any sign of Captain Biro "I'm certain Wyv told us to get to erase Biro at 6!" "Errrrrr... Lewis..." mutters Simon nervously while blankly stairing at a parchment Wyvern had handed them earlier "... it says here '6 in the morning'..." Meanwhile, at the center of the arena... Hydrus, the trainer of Captain Biro, notices a somewhat stressed looking, poorly disguised Wyvern in the audience. Deciding that it would be favorable for his application to help the overgrown lizard out, Hydrus devises a little escape strategy... "Hey Biro..." says Hydrus, patting the undefeated champion on the back "... would you mind sketching a little trapdoor on the stage floor? Looks like a friend of ours could use a little help..." Captain Biro nods and draws a little trapdoor on the center stage floor while Hydrus signals to an increasingly stressed looking Wyvern. The overgrown lizard notices Hydrus' beckonings and quickly rushes onto center stage, following the skillfull dwarf through the trap door and into a secret underground passage way. Once they find themselves safe, Wyvern wips out an application, stamps it 'ACCEPTED', and hands it to Hydrus. OOC: Welcome to the Pen Hydrus, I was actually wondering when you would apply. Thanks for the great application, you're certainly 'ACCEPTED'. Looking forward to more writing from you. [image]http://www.legion-whiterose.com/signatures/aoa/wyv.gif[/image] ------------------------------ Almost a Dragon... "My life is one big crime, I try to scheme through it." -Common, "The 6th Sense" Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted January 19, 2002 Report Share Posted January 19, 2002 Peredhil reminds all new initiates that they should email him if they want the Critic's Corner password. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hydrus Posted January 19, 2002 Report Share Posted January 19, 2002 Cooking? Hmm, well, I just might. Even if the Pen is mightier than the sword, even it can't beat a good batch of Muffins. Email sent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 20, 2002 Report Share Posted January 20, 2002 (Tzimfemme waylays Hydrus.) Are they CHOCOLATE muffins? (She slinks away from him, grinning widely, with his underwear in hand. . .) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hydrus Posted January 21, 2002 Report Share Posted January 21, 2002 A quote from Dr Nick: "Ooookay, dat was a liddle weird. While you were asleep, did you feel your brain being damaged?" BIC: Hydrus beams at the mention of muffins. "Chocolate? Why, those are my specialites! Well, those and Kelp Muffins. Would you like batch now" Hydrus glances around, but, finding Tzifemme had long since left, he shrugged and wandered off, mutering something about the sudden breeze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted January 21, 2002 Report Share Posted January 21, 2002 Peredhil checks and rechecks his mail. Did you send it to peredhil31@hotmail.com? Did you put "The Mighty Pen" in the subject line? I haven't received an email from you yet!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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