Guest excedrin Posted January 31, 2002 Report Share Posted January 31, 2002 Screaming in the silence, Crying in the rain, A thousand voices whispering Driving me insane... Any time I love you It makes the pain last longer So why don't I just hate instead Perhaps it will make me stronger. You were the one to build my heart And you were the one who broke it You were the one who said good-bye 'Cos God knows I never spoke it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Seth Exodus Posted January 31, 2002 Report Share Posted January 31, 2002 Very nice, Excedrin. *applaudes* It paints a vivid picture. Classic theme; I like it. "So why don't I just hate instead Perhaps it will make me stronger." I've contemplated that very thing many a time; never came to a conclusion, though. -Seth Exodus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Signe Green Posted January 31, 2002 Report Share Posted January 31, 2002 this is really good hon, vivid imagery as always! *applauds* Signe's Homepage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rahsash Geldich Posted January 31, 2002 Report Share Posted January 31, 2002 Very vivid indeed, it conveys a lot emotions that aren't usually conveyed so subtly, like hopelessness at the line "hate... will make me stronger" Just my thoughts I guess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gyrfalcon Posted February 2, 2002 Report Share Posted February 2, 2002 *Gyr applauds* This poem really flows well, evokes some good images, and I just like it in general. *grins* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nyyark Posted February 2, 2002 Report Share Posted February 2, 2002 Wow, I belive you really captured the pain of wanting to be loved. Hate Instead well captures an aspect of love not often thought about. I think that anyone who has trouble understanding "I hate you even more because I love you" should read this poem. Well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted February 5, 2002 Report Share Posted February 5, 2002 well done. Vivid imagery and captures the angst. Looks suspiciously at the syllable counts in the second stanza, compares them to the 1st and 3rd, but moves on. You've a strong voice to express inner torments. I hope you can find another key to your creativity. -Peredhil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Celes Crusader Posted February 5, 2002 Report Share Posted February 5, 2002 Bravo! Nicely put. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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