Guest Turi Posted December 2, 2001 Report Share Posted December 2, 2001 Maid Mary was out on the fields one day with wind in her her, with wind in her hair Lord Olav came by with glowing desire The light was on her, the light was on her Maid Mary was forced to follow him home with wind in her hair, with wind in her hair A candle was lit and he admired her naked the light was on her, the light was on her Maid Mary escaped and ran far away with wind in her hair, with wind in her hair The stars were shining when she collapsed the light was on her, the light was on her Lord Olav made plans to kill the poor girl with wind in her hair, with wind in her hair He went to the king with a blazing hate the light was on her, the light was on her Lord Olav was praised for finding a witch with wind in her hair, with wind in her hair Soon she was captured and burned at the stake the light was on her, the light was on her Two angels came to where Mary was burning with wind in her hair, with wind in her hair when they flew to heaven, Mary flied with them the light was on her, the light was on her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Turi Posted December 2, 2001 Report Share Posted December 2, 2001 Don't feel afraid to reply to any of my topics... I don't mind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gyrfalcon Posted December 3, 2001 Report Share Posted December 3, 2001 A song, eh? I can see the ability to sing it in there. Pretty good, Turi. =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CloudBurn Posted December 21, 2001 Report Share Posted December 21, 2001 I like the story element THE REGULATOR All your base are belong to us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Foe Calibur Posted December 28, 2001 Report Share Posted December 28, 2001 A fresh idea, a good idea. Well done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bhurin Posted December 29, 2001 Report Share Posted December 29, 2001 It is, indeed, very beautiful. Mournful but beautiful. An interesting comment on (what we can only hope are) past realities. Indeed, regretful we cannot hear it sung... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted February 7, 2002 Report Share Posted February 7, 2002 This has a delightfully Medaeval feel to it, while bearing the traditional cautionary tone. Nicely done, and fun to recite aloud. -Peredhil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reverie Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 (edited) OMG! A lyric poem that reads like a ballad in blank verse. Or at least I think it's blank verse? And it has some distinct metric variations throw in for fun, so she must have been going for an iambic meter of some sort... it so freaking beautiful, I want to die. a few tweaks here and there particulary in the third lines of most of the stanzas and it'd be perfect. Like substituting "form" for "naked." in the second stanza, rephrasing the "blazing hate" in forth stanza just a tad etc. rev... Edited May 5, 2006 by reverie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WrenWind Posted May 11, 2006 Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 Just lovely! Though I do agree with Rev that naked could be replaced with form it would flow better. Wren Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightFae Posted May 20, 2006 Report Share Posted May 20, 2006 Wow. This is an amazing peice...I really can't find another thing to say. Although "blazing hate" in the fourth stanza just...Doesn't seem to fit as well. But despite that tiny fact, it's a wonderful poem. Very well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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