Gwaihir Posted October 1, 2002 Report Share Posted October 1, 2002 It was colder than usual that day, The wind came in through every chilling crack. She sewed, and wished she had some food to cook- It’s hard to sleep when you’re hungry and cold. No one would accept a woman worker, So sewing was of course her only job. Her eyes fell on the picture on the shelf. He promised to make money, come for her. “I’ll get you out of this hell hole, baby” That was nine years ago. He’d left for good. Hard to believe that he’d abandon her, But there’s no point fooling oneself-He’s gone, Those thoughts made all her memories rush back, So she went out walking to clear her mind. She walked and thought about that man she loved: Layth could bring out the best in anyone So kind he’d skipped his meals to bring her food, And god was he handsome, his flowing hair… She smiled with that look of memory, That happy grin the present never brought, But, then the present brought her back again. Directly in her path was some rich man, He stopped straight in her path-too rude to move? She turned to step past him in the gutter, Wanting to return to her pleasant dreams. But then the rude man spoke, interrupting, “You walk as one asleep, wake up, Shala! He caught her in his arms, and made her see. That well dressed man who she’d tried to ignore- His grin, his love, his help-was back at last! Edited by: gwaihir1 at: 10/2/02 6:56:31 am Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gyrfalcon Posted October 2, 2002 Report Share Posted October 2, 2002 *smiles and applauds* What can I say? It has a happy ending, when I thought it would end badly. Good poem, Gwahir. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Seth Exodus Posted October 2, 2002 Report Share Posted October 2, 2002 Lovely. I'm a pessamist by nature, and prefer the depressing and meloncholy, but I rather like this. And, again, I am caught between my sever distaste for free verse, and an incredible poem. "That was nine years ago. He’d left for good." That's more credit than I would give a woman for loyalty; but that's just my cynical and unpopulare insight into life. "He stopped straight in her path-too rude to move?" A wise man once said: "To ponder is to dwell on, to think is to consider, to guess to risk, and to assume is to be damned." - Tyler Black. I think all apply here. "But there’s no point fooling oneself-He’s gone," Ah, the refreshing, yet biting cold sting of pessimism that brings a soaring heart back down to earth. A grand thing that more of the world needs. As I said before, Gwahir, bravo! Wonderful poem. Tally hoe! Yours, Lord Seth Exodus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Portrait of Zool Posted October 2, 2002 Report Share Posted October 2, 2002 A poem that speaks well of trust and faith Gwai. Well done. ~Zool~ King of Nothing, Lord of Nobody, but thoroughly in charge of how I feel about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwaihir Posted October 2, 2002 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2002 Btw, it's not free verse it's blank verse, but thank you. Edited by: gwaihir1 at: 10/4/02 3:51:23 am Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord Seth Exodus Posted October 2, 2002 Report Share Posted October 2, 2002 My mistake. *bows* By the way, what's the difference between the two? (Yowza! Is that a newbie question or what? ) - Lord Seth Exodus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SaberCoEP Posted October 4, 2002 Report Share Posted October 4, 2002 A poem that once again confirms that true love surpasses any and all obstacles in front of it. Very well written.. For the end is never seen, always heard and rarely understood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gyrfalcon Posted October 4, 2002 Report Share Posted October 4, 2002 A note: Your edit did something strange to the line: Ill get you out of this hell hole, baby Really, really strange. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwaihir Posted October 4, 2002 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2002 I was just editing it to get my sig out off, but hmm. I don't see the oddity, btw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Portrait of Zool Posted October 4, 2002 Report Share Posted October 4, 2002 I don't see anything strange either... ~Zool~ King of Nothing, Lord of Nobody, but thoroughly in charge of how I feel about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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