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There was next to no light coming through the main window of the little whole in the wall shop. The place had only been open for a few days, but was still waiting for it’s first customer. Geni stood at the counter watching the street through the window, her heart breaking at the feeling of failure slowly filling her. Suddenly the door was pushed open by a tall, darkly handsome man. “Hello, welcome to Geseppie’s. Feel free to look around and let me know if I can answer any questions you have.” she smiled taking in his dark green eyes and the raven black hair that fell in soft waves past his shoulders.

“Thank you, but I didn’t come in for anything in the shop. I came in to speak with Geni Symipie.” his voice was stiff, but his eyes were kind.

Geni felt her heart sink to her feet. Nothing good had ever come from situations like the one that she was now standing in. Taking a deep breath, “That would be me. What can I do for you sir?” she asked hoping it was something easy.

The man stepped closer to where she was standing behind the counter. “My name is Michael Raventree. I am here on behalf of Williams and Jefferies.” he paused to see if she knew the name.

Geni shook her head, “Who or what are they?” she asked trying hard to remember if she had ever heard that name before, the name didn’t seem to ring any bells.

“They are high dollar lawyers out of New York City. They represent a woman by the name of Michelle Markwood. I believe you should know that name.” he leaned against the edge of a counter.

Geni swallowed hard, “Yes I know that name. She is my great grandmother. We however do not have a very good relationship.” she explained carefully. She and her great grandmother had never been very close.

“Correct, however your great grandmother has recently passed away.” he took a breath and continued to pass along the information his boss had given him. “She was,” he coughed, “a very interesting lady. She had a will written by one of the partners at the firm. They sent me to find you and make sure that you received your inheritance.”

She again shook her head, “She left me something?” Geni couldn’t believe the old woman she remembered having so many arguments with would have left her anything.

Michael smiled, “That she did. Am I to assume that you haven’t spoken to her in some time?”

Geni laughed, “You could say that. The last time I spoke to the woman was nearly ten years ago. She and I never saw eye to eye on anything.”

“However according to her, you grew up living with her?” he asked suddenly more than a little confused.

Geni sighed and looked at the glass counter in front of her. “Yes, I moved in with her when I was about five years old, when my parents where killed in a boating accident.”

“So I was told by your great grandmother. She also said that you left when you were sixteen and have only seen her once since the day you left.”

Geni nodded, “Correct. The only time I went back was for my big brother’s funeral. We lost him about ten years ago to a drug deal gone bad. Though I still can’t understand why she would have left me anything.”

Michael tilted his head, “That’s simple. The woman loved you. She understood that you made different choices in your life than she wanted, but after thinking about it she realized that it was your life.”

Geni felt a single tear slip from her eye. “Why did she not find me? I mean she knew where I lived. Why would she have never tried to contact me?”

“She did try, however there was always something that got in the way. From your bother and his trouble with the law to something about a man wanting to keep you from your family. That is why I am here. She sent me to find you and make sure that you receive your inheritance with no problems." he was holding the stack of papers in his hand as he spoke to her. Something really didn’t feel right to her about all of this.

Michael wanted to reach out to her, but didn’t think it would be a good idea so he kept his hands to himself. “Because she thought you hated her. She was hoping that when it was all said and done you would understand why she left you what she did.”

“What did she leave me? What is this all about?” she asked stepping to the side and sitting down on the wooden stool.

Michael reached down and lifted his briefcase, laying it on the counter next to her. With a smile he flipped the latches open. “I brought a copy of the will with me so that you can read through it for yourself.” he told her as he took a packet of papers out of the case.

Geni reached out to take the papers from him, “Okay I guess the only thing I can do is read what this says and try to figure out what she was trying to do.” The papers felt heavy in her hands as memories began to flood into her mind. Her eyes misted as she started to read.


“I Michelle Markwood, being of sound mind and mostly sound body, so hereby write my last will and testament. I have lived in a world of my own making for many years. This world has lacked the love of a family. However that was my fault, I did things that I should not have. I made my family hate me, including the only family that remains a part of the Legacy of Markwood Mannor.

Now to get on with why I am forced to write this. I want to make sure that all the legal I’s are dotted and T’s are crossed. My great granddaughter is all that is left of my family, and as such I want to make sure, even though she and I don’t see eye to eye, that she is taken care of.

This is not your normal will and testament, because my lawyers said that I could write this in my own words. Geni, there were may things that I did wrong after your parents passed away. I had no clue how to handle the feelings that you were being forced to deal with. I had already raised and lost my son, your grandfather. Now God had seen fit to take my only grandchild from me. All I could see was loosing you. So I made many mistakes, I know that money will never make up for what I did, however there is money. A lot of money. You are the only heir to the Markwood Estate. As the lawyer will explain there is a lot to that estate.

Now there is one other thing that I wish to leave you Geni, it’s something that you have had all of your life. I know that I didn’t say it early enough. I love you and I am very proud of you.

Michelle Markwood”


Geni looked up from the sheet of paper. “Okay that sort of sounds like my great grandmother.” she said reaching up and brushing away the tears that we slipping down her face.

“From what I knew of her she was a kind older woman who was very sorry for what happened and the tension between the two of you.” he passed another set of papers over to her. “These are the deeds to all the property that your family, and now you own.” he explained with a smile. “The only deed that is not there is the one for this place, but that’s only because I’m not your lawyer.” He tried to smile. He had been studying her for the last few weeks since her great grandmother had passed away. He knew that he should have approached her faster, but he had been worried since she hadn’t seen Michelle in so long.

Geni flipped through the top few pieces of paper before looking up at him. “I really own all of this?”

“Yes, there are over twenty different properties there. Everything from a hotel to a greasy-spoon diner.”

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Lovely, just lovely. I really like the setup you have here.

One thing that bothered me was the switching between characters that came out of nowhere.

Starting here:

Something really didn’t feel right to her about all of this.

Michael wanted to reach out to her, but didn’t think it would be a good idea so he kept his hands to himself

Up to this point everything Micheal did and said could be seen from Geni's position. But him wanting to reach out to her crossed into his position. That jolted me and might be something to keep your eye on as you write on.


And yesssss please write on!



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Another great story.


I'm REALLY starting to get upset that you don't write more! :angry::flower:


Only problem I saw was in the first line:


There was next to no light coming through the main window of the little whole in the wall shop.

It should be 'hole'.


I'm TRYING to improve my critiquing skills beyond "Me like" and "Me no like", so THAT'S my attempt at constructive criticism (Appy is a MUCH better authority than I when it comes to story structure - so I KNOW how pathetic my attempt is, next to hers :P )!



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