The Portrait of Zool Posted July 12, 2011 Report Share Posted July 12, 2011 Commentary is welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snypiuer Posted July 13, 2011 Report Share Posted July 13, 2011 Snypiuer's STANDARD greeting before opening front door to strangers: "If you're here to sell me something, convert me or bother me with questions - there's a VERY good chance I'm going to accidentally shoot you several times while cleaning my single shot shotgun." When they call Snypiuer, he begins polling THEM (when it's not automated): Pollster: "Hi, I'm calling from (insert organization name here). Would you be willing to take a brief survey today?" Snypiuer: "WOULD I!? I've been waiting ALL DAY for your call!" Pollster: "Umm. . . O.K.?" Snypiuer: *Before THEY can start* "First, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being 'PLEASE beat me to death with my own foot' and 10 being 'I'm so happy I'm doing back flips WHILE urinating myself', how do you rate your job?" Pollster: "Excuse me?!" Snypiuer: "I'll put your answer down as 'Purple'. Now, how many times a day do you curl up in a ball and weep uncontrollably OR throw cats at random neighborhood children? Tell you what, I'll just put down you answered 'Foofie', you still there?" You have NO idea how much Snypiuer WISHES they were still there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Portrait of Zool Posted July 13, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 13, 2011 ROFL! You GO Snyp! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harmonious_Echos Posted July 21, 2011 Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 *Muse blinks rapidly* Synpuier, I am TOTALLY STEALING THAT for my next telemarketer/survey pollster!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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