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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

I think I know what's in my brain.


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A scaly figure sporting a long dark overcoat shuffles his way into the room, clearly a shady type judging by the way he tilts his snout left and right and the way he shifts his tail in nervous little twists. The figure carefully shuffles past the Death of Rats and Jason Newcomb while hissing things under his breath, coming to a halt when he arrives at OxygenPlant and tilting his head in a little bow. The trench-coated lizard proceeds to shuffle up beside OxygenPlant, nudging her side twice with an elbow and raising a claw to whisper.

 

"Psssssssssst... OxygenPlant issit?" A toothy grin flashes from under the over-sized folds of the trenchcoat, the sharp reptilian canines gleaming in the light of the Banquet Hall. "I've been following your recent ssstring of poetry responses, and you strike me as the kind of person who might be interesssted in a few truly unsexy videosss. Well, it jussst so happensss that you're in luck, because look what I have in my front pocket."

 

The cloaked scaly one reaches down towards the area of his crotch, causing OxygenPlant to stammer and back away before he pulls out a list of Almost Dragonic Brand Dirty Vile Discs™, tagged "Unsexy Edition," from his pocket. He hands the list to OxygenPlant, who examines it with an annoyed expression as the smut peddler continues.

 

"As you can ssssee, I have quite a selection of exceptionally unsexy videossss." The scaly figure snags the sides of his overcoat and suddenly flashes it open, causing OxygenPlant to cry out and back away before she realizes that the lizard is merely displaying the product on the insides of his coat. Dirty discs and cassettes with names like "Leia Riding R2D2" and "Captain Ahab Riding His Ship" line the insides of the lizard's jacket like candy offered by strangers. Tasteless candy. "Here, try thissss as a sampler"

 

Wyvern extends a copy of "Gollum Riding Bilbo" in a broken case to OxygenPlant, careful to cover the "300 geld rental" tag on its side with one of his claws. The cover of the Dirty Vile Disc displays Bilbo dressed as a horse, with Gollum seated on a saddle on top of him and pointing in the direction to travel in...

 

;-)

 

Edit: gender confusion!

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