Feste Posted January 7, 2009 Report Share Posted January 7, 2009 Shaky.Intoxicated and influenced;Inspired and Nauseous.Broken.Exhilarated, Enthralled, Excited, Engrossed, Enthused--Queasy.Order words of proper acquainted un the with;Gargling gibberish; Spewing Gems.Sleeplessness, recklessness;A muse quite drugged.When you make me less nervous,From my lips, great poetry may part;Until then, um...here:Just take my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feste Posted January 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 7, 2009 Yes, the poem has a name, no I won't post it because I feel cheesy just having written it. =/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted January 7, 2009 Report Share Posted January 7, 2009 Wow! I like this. Gives the up and down feeling of reality's pulsing when medications fight sickness. Good alliteration, nice use of line breaks. You shouldn't be reluctant to post at all. Heh - go read the sticky "should I post" - and then post more!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feste Posted January 8, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 8, 2009 Wow! I like this. Gives the up and down feeling of reality's pulsing when medications fight sickness. Good alliteration, nice use of line breaks. You shouldn't be reluctant to post at all. Heh - go read the sticky "should I post" - and then post more!!! It's a matter of having the material to post. I could front-load a ton of my past works, and I may do so at some point, to see changes over time. That's my first original piece in almost 5 months. Tense writer's block broken, as cliche'd as it sounds, by a girl; which is what this poem is actually about. Which is interesting that you mention medication, for my "sickness" and my "medicine" come from the same source. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted January 8, 2009 Report Share Posted January 8, 2009 I like this poem as well, Feste. :-) The pacing of the words and use of alliteration both make it stand out, and I also like the way the last stanza of the poem goes into a more casual tone without sounding super forced. The mixed order of the words at the beginning of the third stanza was cool as well. And no worries about the title... if it's too personal for you to put into writing, a lot of great poems remain untitled. ;-) Thanks for sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feste Posted January 10, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2009 I'll be adding more stuff for everyone. Thanks for the feedback, definitely a great confidence boost that I needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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