Wyvern Posted October 2, 2007 Report Share Posted October 2, 2007 The news cameras tune in to a set of tattered red curtains, which hang from a set of poorly concealed webbed fingers. The sounds of an off-key flute medley cues up in the background, any hint of elegance diffused by the hissing sounds that underly every note. Further in the background, the maddening sounds of mechanical baby wails can still be heard echoing from the Assembly Room. "Greetingsss, and welcome to the Almost Report." The curtains don't move, still held by the webbed fingers. Several minutes of silence pass before the voice behind the curtain speaks up again. "*Ahem* GREETINGS, and WELCOME to the ALMOST REPORT. Ssstarting right now, ahaha." The curtains still don't move, which evokes a string of TV-unfriendly curses from behind the curtains. The webbed fingers holding the curtains tremble as the sound of feet stomping can be heard moving towards them. The tattered reds come down with a yank, entangling the wyvern behind them and sending him stumbling back into the sexy sexy leather chair behind him. The reptilian Elder continues cursing until he's managed to untangle the curtains from his scales, revealing a pompous scale-tight vest with white ruffles and a purple cap with a peacock feather (and two horns) sticking from it. Wyvern tosses the curtains to the side and turns to the cameras with a toothy grin. "Greetingssss, and welcome to the Almost Report. A special Master Peace Theatre edition." Wyvern rubs a claw on his vest, accidentally causing several of the buttons to pop off. "Tonight, we report to you live from Orlan's quarters in the hopes of gaining some elegance to celebrate the birthday of a certain Master of Peace. That's right... it'sss that high elf amongst elves, that gentleman amongst gentlefolk, that polite dungeon master amongst expert torturers..." Wyvern pauses and turns to a sexy sexy drawer, opening it and clawing his way through a sexy sexy file of pennite pictures. By the time he's found a picture of Peredhil and pulled it out, the state of the cabinet has been reduced from "sexy sexy" to a mere "sexy." "Happy Birthday, Peredhil!" Wyvern waves the picture in front of the camera. The photo depicts Peredhil handing a very valuable piece of undies to the doorman of the Quincuinox. "Thanksss fer all your contributions over the years. I hope your day goesss great." Wyvern nods and drops the picture, then pulls out a notepad and begins wandering around Orlan's quarters and observing the latest in sexy sexy fashions. "In further newsss..." Wyvern stops and cringes as the baby wailing sounds in the background grow louder still. "Pennites concerned with the noise levels of the Pen should be sure to check out Degorram's scream event and drop of their screams of choice. While yer down there, you might also consssider deading that Almost Dragonic Brand Organ Whine-der... thossse baby screams're really starting to get to me." Wyvern clutches his aching head and flops down on a conveniently placed sexy sexy pillow for a moment. He stairs up at the sexy sexy ceiling designs and hisses: "For the last item of this evenings report: word has it that e-mail notification for PMs at the Pen isss currently not working. So if yer usually notified by e-mail when you get a PM here and don't know why you haven't been getting'em as of late, there's yer explanation." Wyvern lifts himself from the pillow and turns to inspect more of the chamber, only to get his feet tangled in the tattered curtains on the floor. The cameras move through an elegant fade-to-black as the lizard stumbles forward in the direction of the sexy sexy Really Fragile Crystal Statue... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted October 3, 2007 Report Share Posted October 3, 2007 Politely hugs thanks It was a WONDERFUL birthday, with cake, balloons, and a Katana! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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